Live together first? (dating, marriage, love, family)
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I am curious to get everyones opinion on this issue. I am a Catholic and always believed in getting married then living together. Now, I do not follow all the Catholic beliefs. I am FOR birth controll pills, if you do not want children and want to enjoy a physical relationship and I am NOT a virgin. Therefore, I am not some prude who sticks to it all. Just always wanted to be married before living together. Being Catholic may or may not have anything to do with that. I know the times have changed and that is common.
I am trying to convince my significant other that I need to see a ring first!
I've lived with my fiancee for two years now. It's hard to say exactly how much this will benefit us in the future, as the wedding is still five months away. However, I think it will eliminate a lot of surprises and possible problems. It's allowed us to get used to the living situation - being around each other ALL the time, respecting each other's things, and finding things to do when we want to get away from each other. I really don't see that much change when we actually tie the knot. I know there are things to consider like joint bank accounts and whatnot, but I know she won't throw me out on the street if I leave my dirty socks on the floor.
I kind of equate it to buying a new car without test driving it. Sure, it might look great, and everything seems to be in running order, but maybe the seats aren't comfortable. Maybe it has some annoying rattle when you get it out on the open highway. Best to figure these things out before you make the purchase.
Of course, I understand that living together before marriage is not for everyone, and there are religious and financial concerns that might cause some to object. In my particular situation, everything worked out nicely. I'd say the best solution would be to talk it out with your significant other, and ultimately do what's best for you two. No one else's opinion really matters.
I would want to have had many good discussions on every aspect of facing life's challenges and if I was convinced that the Other Person was worth the Risk--then I would just as soon have the blessings of the church and state.
I also would not hesitate to get a divorce if my decision proved to be incorrect. There is the spiritual/romantic/religious side to Love/marriage and a pragmatic side. Just no sense in hurting each other and hurting children or extended family.
Get married, try your best--part if need be. Be civilized.
my $.02--
(some people can have a deep and stable relationship without being married --at this point in my life --I think I would be ready to try that... and I could care less about people's private lives... that is just me --I don't need/want to know much about people's private lives--happy for them if things are going well--empathize when things are not...lots of bumps on the journey...)
I am curious to get everyones opinion on this issue. I am a Catholic and always believed in getting married then living together. Now, I do not follow all the Catholic beliefs. I am FOR birth controll pills, if you do not want children and want to enjoy a physical relationship and I am NOT a virgin. Therefore, I am not some prude who sticks to it all. Just always wanted to be married before living together. Being Catholic may or may not have anything to do with that. I know the times have changed and that is common.
I am trying to convince my significant other that I need to see a ring first!
What do you think???
Times may have changed and people may live together more than they did years ago, but the Word of God has not changed. The Bible teaches this is not right and that's why I believe it's wrong.
I may sound very "old school", but I believe that you shouldn't live with someone unless you're married to him or her. If you don't trust someone enough to get married, why trust that person enough to live with them (and subsequently become vulnerable to their financial woes, etc.)? I've wondered the same thing about buying a home or making some other huge purchase with someone you're not married to. Obviously, there is something holding you back from making that commitment; is it really a good idea to go into business with such a person?!
Many people these days say that there's no difference between living together and getting married. I say, "Fine. Then why don't you get married if you feel that way, if it's really no big deal?"
Many people these days say that there's no difference between living together and getting married. I say, "Fine. Then why don't you get married if you feel that way, if it's really no big deal?"
Please remember that not everyone in our great country is allowed that luxury.
I know people that have lived together first and some that have not. There's no guarantees so just do what your heart is telling you to do. You probably already know what you really want to do anyway.
As you've seen here, it ultimitely comes down to what YOU want to do. Some people will agree with it, some people will disagree. When it comes down to it, you just have to weigh your beliefs and values and make your own decision. Then forget what anyone else thinks.
I am trying to convince my significant other that I need to see a ring first!
Politics aside (sorry, I got sidetracked!) I see two larger issues here:
1. Conflicting Values
2. Lack of respect
Meaning...your SO ~might~ have different values than yours re: marriage and religion.
Also, after hashing out those differences, does he respect you enough to understand and acknowledge your values?
Those are big issues. Potentially deal-breakers.
Good luck and best wishes.
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Works for some
