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That would be valid, but for the fact that your posts do not represent every woman, no matter what Whitney would have you believe. My comments about women and false outspokenness was not an attack on you; simply an explanation about why men steer away from women who say they are outspoken. If you want to blame someone, blame your peers.
It looks like you are the one doing all the blaming--and projecting. I hope you work out in time whatever it is that is eating you up. Your baggage is getting in the way of your ability to read or see straight. There is not one thing in my post that suggests blaming. I wish you peace. This is my last response to you. Be well.
It also not really true. Careers are essentially a specialized division of labor; while it does require some intelligence, its really about maintaining a discipline in that specialized category. People specializing in modern societies are often not very bright. I have even come across this same observation in several books including Wealth of Nations and Guns, Germs and Steel.
There are several issues to consider. One of the problems a man will have with a career women will be that it does compete with his. It can become an issue and in particular if it requires a transfer. Who drops everything for the kids is another. Someone's career can be somewhat curtailed or destroyed. It can and does result in divorce and upheaval. I make enough money on my own and I did make this calculation.
Ironically even if the dictates of feminism where correct on all counts its specific interests will not address points invisible to it. There is no cultural apparatus to address a man who damages his career. The recent cultural shifts do not address court systems, judges, juries communities and cultures who will compensate the man for this risk even more so than the women who has traditionally made this risk. This is the plight of the high powered career couple under circumstance that required mobility which, given both work, are doubled. That is one reason Hollywood glamor couples are a mess.
It reminds me of another great irony I heard from minority women owning businesses that preferred to hire white males because there is little hassle in firing them. Unless feminism addresses the needs of men, it can never address the needs of women.
The big problem facing a career women is she often has not discarded her desire for traditional upward mobility in a mate and thus seeks high powered career males. Career males are far less concerned with this and find having beautiful, educated wives not necessarily career bound are still considered high status mates. This is why when the music is over, there is a large group of successful career women without a mate and they are quite noisy about it.
The career women seeking a supporting man will have certainly overcome this problem and have truly liberated themselves if they can somehow see in their male partners that they are worthy, equal status partners
Are black women being punished for being successful?
Since I see related threads not quite having the landscape in view, here it is. Career success for women is not necessarily a good item on the marriage market and its probably a combination between both men and women trying to match up.
Black women are simply the most acute example of this. Women who move up in their careers and who seek equality in education and career success , will more likely be alone. High status males will select beauty, culture and maternal qualities and shrink this pool of men that these women wish to marry.
Now that I'm "ready" (to settle down), I pay more attention to what "they" say about my options, and I'm reeling from the cruel statistics. "45% of Black women in America have never married; compared with 23% of White women," they say. The rate of childlessness among highly educated Black women born between 1961 and 1970 is 38% they say. "African-American females, even with lots of education, do not fetch as much ‘value' in the marriage market," they say. "Black women outnumber Black men almost 2 to 1 in higher education," they say. "The disparity is important because Americans have a strong tendency to marry those with equal levels of education."
Se7en Magazine - Are black women being punished for being successful? (http://se7enmagazine.com/the-issue/41-north-america/569-are-black-women-being-punished-for-being-successful.html - broken link)
However the implications are lost. Women tend to choose for career success while men will choose for other factors which includes education but not necessarily a career.
Well I guess I would lean more toward modern, though I love wearing dresses. LOL. I have no idea what person really falls into either category. And if guys are into traditional more than modern, I will be solo for alot longer than I first thought. LOL
BTW, what man doesn't care if his wife's needs are being met in bed. If he doesn't care about that, he doesn't really love her, or want to keep her! LOL
Since I see related threads not quite having the landscape in view, here it is. Career success for women is not necessarily a good item on the marriage market and its probably a combination between both men and women trying to match up.
Black women are simply the most acute example of this. Women who move up in their careers and who seek equality in education and career success , will more likely be alone. High status males will select beauty, culture and maternal qualities and shrink this pool of men that these women wish to marry.
Now that I'm "ready" (to settle down), I pay more attention to what "they" say about my options, and I'm reeling from the cruel statistics. "45% of Black women in America have never married; compared with 23% of White women," they say. The rate of childlessness among highly educated Black women born between 1961 and 1970 is 38% they say. "African-American females, even with lots of education, do not fetch as much ‘value' in the marriage market," they say. "Black women outnumber Black men almost 2 to 1 in higher education," they say. "The disparity is important because Americans have a strong tendency to marry those with equal levels of education."
Se7en Magazine - Are black women being punished for being successful? (http://se7enmagazine.com/the-issue/41-north-america/569-are-black-women-being-punished-for-being-successful.html - broken link)
However the implications are lost. Women tend to choose for career success while men will choose for other factors which includes education but not necessarily a career.
Boy the odds are against me, but I will survive. Oh as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive. Cuz I've got all my life to live and I've got all this love to give... Sorry, I think that is merely because most black women restrict their range of possible mates to black men. If they open up their horizons, then those statistics won't be as daunting.
If a guy is turned off by my accomplishments in life (education, career, etc.) then he isn't the guy for me. There is alot more to me than the degrees I hold, and if he takes the time to find that out, he will realize that is only a very small part of who I am.
High status males will select beauty, culture and maternal qualities and shrink this pool of men that these women wish to marry.
I don't know how a traditional woman differs from a modern one but I do know this: a man looking for a woman to marry and have children with will always choose the woman who makes marriage and children a priority.
A woman's success in finding a man for marriage depends on her ability to show that she will make a good wife and mother. Point blank: her upward mobility is not a factor.
Men are simple. We haven't changed the game. The qualities that men have looked for in women for eons are still the same ones most men look for today.
Boy the odds are against me, but I will survive. Oh as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive. Cuz I've got all my life to live and I've got all this love to give... Sorry, I think that is merely because most black women restrict their range of possible mates to black men. If they open up their horizons, then those statistics won't be as daunting.
Hi BlueLuce,
Its typically easier to be educated than it is to have a successful career. So again high achieving men are fewer than the educated women. I can also personally attest academia is not typically geared to the male mind. High school was wretched for me. 50 minutes of each subject until the bell rings? That is why men catch up in college because the course work is fewer and more concentrated. Still not enough for me because I focus on single subjects for months on end. That is why men are not in achedemia at the same rate.
Also, unfortunately, pasty face and flabby white boys are not in particular attractive to black women. Even I can see black men can achieve a level of masculine image that surpasses most others.
Men and women appear differently in the same race. For example women have lighter skin because of the layer of fat under their skin men don't have. This also shows up in the lips wish on a women face appears as a darker more reddish color. That is why women wear lip stick. The racial difference exaggerates or diminishes these sexual ques. Some of it is also cultural but this is the landscape one must understand.
Quote:
If a guy is turned off by my accomplishments in life (education, career, etc.) then he isn't the guy for me. There is alot more to me than the degrees I hold, and if he takes the time to find that out, he will realize that is only a very small part of who I am.
Its the women at least as much as the man making this decision. Women reject men as much on this basis. Educated women reject low career status males. Women often overestimate their career success and assume it is as attractive as they find it in a man. Its the same as a muscle head over estimating physical attractiveness because that is what he seeks in a mate. Also, why should anyone take more time with you more than another? If a man discovers another's virtues sooner, you lose. It reminds me of the proverb "Open rebuke is better than love well hidden". You had better make a man understand its more than the degrees you hold. I have intelligent conversations with lots of people. The sooner you abandon the quixotic Hollywood story of discovering hidden virtue the better.
I have a respectable career and I can buy what I need. What good is a women to me that redundantly supplies everything I already have? I would gladly give up the cold plain looking genius in a lab coat for a reasonably smart women who is warm and loving.
Now then the so called educated women may reply that she is not going to change and sacrifice her education because a man is threatened by it. It has far less to do with it. Its her own attitude and she over sells it. Do what you need to do for yourself but sell what sells. I like to play chess. I did not try to sell that on the marriage market. I would have certainly not been shy about mentioning it if I were a Grand Master with FIDE because its a status.
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Are black women being punished for being successful?
Since when is education a bad thing...
