Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
i think you have done what you were supposed to in this situation. cancelling the meeting was very important. dont look to her for answers. look within.
when break ups occur you feel completely powerless if you were the one who was let go. you would like answers but sometimes those answers dont exist. or that person does not want to provide answers (thats adding insult to injury).
you would expect for the other person to respect you enought or love you enough to "talk it out", but either way none of that matters.
wht matters is how you will respond to these trials. so far you are doing well. you have opened up about the situation. and you have begun to dissect your feelings. that is very important. you have control over that. deal with that. look at yourself and heal yourself. you will be stronger and wiser. you cant force anyone to tell you their motivation or provide answers. but you can find answers for yourself.
you should continue to work, hobby and play. in time it will pass. its tough. stupid songs that come on will seem like the perfect dedication to your ex. it will seem like everysong has such a perfect lyric that encapsulates your feelings, dont let that get to you. songs and movies exist because they unite a common theme of love and loss and joy and pain and wisdom and a whole bunch of other things. we can all, at every point in our life find something familiar in a song. its normal, but dont let that get the best of you.
you will be reminded of this relationship for a long time. its life, this was your life for the past 6 years. now you are crafting your life for yourself. write your own "songs". make your own story out of this. this ex is in the past now. look within for that strength and you will find it.
its tough, but in time with the help of friends and strangers even, you will heal.
break ups suck. but thats life. the right person will come along. you will know.
good luck. and live for yourself now.
your on the right path homeboy
Thanks for the input, your post made me feel quite a bit better!
Okay. Get back to work as soon as possible (give yourself a couple of days just to make it worth it)
The reason I'm saying this is because during the time you're working, you're also only halfway thinking about how badly you feel. And you're getting paid, and time is passing. The only thing that will ultimately make you feel better is the passage of time.
And why waste a perfectly good break from work when you feel so badly? Working will help keep your mind off your troubles, at least part of the time. I've been through this more times than I care to say. Really.
Go back to work. Force yourself to go through the motions of living your life, even if you're a miserable zombie. Staying busy is better than picking Doritos crumbs out of your belly button on the sofa.
Keep moving, keep breathing, you will feel better in about a hundred years or less. I promise.
I'm so sorry to hear this happened to you...but I've quoted this post because it is excellent advice. You've got to stay busy...and believe me, your not the first to go thru this, and you won't be the last, but the good news is...you will get thru it...it's normal to hurt, to be sad, but it's not a good thing to wallow in it, if you know what I mean...if you don't get better, then I suggest talking to someone professional about it. In the meantime, it does take time...and I certainly wouldn't jump into dating right away, but I would try to make a list, a list of things you have always wanted to do...and then go do them....alone...it gives your courage, takes you away from your comfort zone and makes you understand the necessity of life..and enjoying it...and most of all, you become so happy with pleasing self...and in the midst of all that, you will be preparing yourself for the next love...which you know your capable of, but you also want to make certain, you choose wisely. I used to tell myself...I'm making myself better for the one. In other words, you have yet to mature, and realize, sometimes life doesn't always give us what we want, but in the end, after all is said and done, sometimes, when you think you've lost, you've actually won. Time does have a way of healing, and you will get thru this...but you cannot wallow in self sympathy either...it's time to get out there, hold your head high and learn from this experience, and there is always so so much to learn. She didn't reject YOU, and it's not your fault...it's her...and really actually has nothing to do with you...her choice...and sometimes the greatest gift of love you can give someone, is to let them go.
I have been keeping myself busy, and appreciate all of your comments. I know many have said to run back to work... but this breakup is not the only reason I am not there. Besides... spending an afternoon out golfing (which I never used to do) keeps me much happier than showing people where an appropriate sized folder for a presentation is.
Thank you very much for your words.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee
I'm so sorry to hear this happened to you...but I've quoted this post because it is excellent advice. You've got to stay busy...and believe me, your not the first to go thru this, and you won't be the last, but the good news is...you will get thru it...it's normal to hurt, to be sad, but it's not a good thing to wallow in it, if you know what I mean...if you don't get better, then I suggest talking to someone professional about it. In the meantime, it does take time...and I certainly wouldn't jump into dating right away, but I would try to make a list, a list of things you have always wanted to do...and then go do them....alone...it gives your courage, takes you away from your comfort zone and makes you understand the necessity of life..and enjoying it...and most of all, you become so happy with pleasing self...and in the midst of all that, you will be preparing yourself for the next love...which you know your capable of, but you also want to make certain, you choose wisely. I used to tell myself...I'm making myself better for the one. In other words, you have yet to mature, and realize, sometimes life doesn't always give us what we want, but in the end, after all is said and done, sometimes, when you think you've lost, you've actually won. Time does have a way of healing, and you will get thru this...but you cannot wallow in self sympathy either...it's time to get out there, hold your head high and learn from this experience, and there is always so so much to learn. She didn't reject YOU, and it's not your fault...it's her...and really actually has nothing to do with you...her choice...and sometimes the greatest gift of love you can give someone, is to let them go.
big big hugs
Creme
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
