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I am no stranger to raising children. In my family I have often been the child magnet and designated all day babysitter, yes in sickness and in health. Plus I have taught elementary school children and run after school and summer camp programs. I appreciate your thoughts, but please don't make assumptions. I am not tired, per se. I am tired of the hustle and bustle, and the interpersonal superficiality, of NYC life. I am sure that I am called to be a parent; it is time for me to stop putting it off. Enough said.
I was married for ten years, but my husband and I were so focused on our careers that we chose not to have children. I moved to NYC after I divorced my husband and put all my energy into teaching, writing, performing, and community service. I am on my way back to Madison, Wisconsin in hope of creating a more relaxed lifestyle in a smaller city that has a vibrant cultural scene, a quality of life that is not all about work, work, work. Omg... What about friends, family, love...? So, as I make my big life-changing move, I am all about making dreams come true, and yet I must also be realistic. Some dreams are not meant to come true. How would anyone ever really know? Is it too late for a woman--however youthful or attractive--in her late forties to marry again and raise a family? Be honest, but try not to be too critical or mean. I already know my life is out of balance, and I am working on making some real corrections. I channel all my mothering instincts into teaching and hosting events, but I am waking up to the fact that these are substitutes for the real thing. I want a partner in life, and I want to be a mother.
I'm not sure what you mean when you say your "life is out of balance" but that doesnt sound too good. Your life should be relatively 'in' balance before you decide to start caring for other humans that are less capable than you are (children) and depend pretty much only on you. Also, I would seriously reconsider having kids due to your age. There are way too many health issues for you and the child. Having a down syndrome baby is highly likely the older the woman gets.
If you simply must have a child, I would consider adopting. I also believe that a child, when brought into this world, should be brought in with lots of thought, care and planning. The kid should have two good parents, one of each gender, so the child gets a balanced upbringing. It doesnt sound like the 'man' spot is filled yet in your life so I would fill that first before you ever get a kid. Haste makes waste - dont rush this.
If you never have/adopt a kid, you should still be able to be a happy person.
I can't tell you if its too late for you. Physically having a child? Yes, without serious medical intervention that might result in the birth of a physically & mentally challenged child. However, adoption is another avenue. Just be aware that caring for a baby is draining. You've had many years of your life to come & go as you wish (within reason of your career path), being on your own sleep schedule, doing with your money & time as you wish, and making decisions that effect you only. Once a child is on the scene that child will be #1.
I hope not, I'm mid forties and I am still wanting to start on myself. I know it is a little different with a guy, you can marry a younger woman and all but I really like women closer to my own age. Problem is finding a good one that's not married, that I like and that likes me.( no offense to all you sweet young things out there by the way) There is usually more in common No; it's not to late....I have decreed it.....so it must be so....right
Physically having a child?Yes, without serious medical intervention that might result in the birth of a physically & mentally challenged child.
However, adoption is another avenue.
Just be aware that caring for a baby is draining.
Point 1: Exactly what I was thinking. I meet women in their late 30s to late 40s who STILL want to have a child. To the late-30s crowd, go for it. To the late-40s crowd, please DON'T go for it. One of my best friends, about 38 or 39, is married to a woman in her mid-40s. They just had a second child and I was pretty apprehensive about it during her pregnancy. When the birth went well, I was relieved. I don't know why I gave a $hit, but I did. I asked him if they were planning for others. I was looking for a "H.N" response....hell no. He answered "We don't know yet." What the hell is he thinking?
Point 2: Absolutely, and it's very honorable and not everyone is cut out for it. It's also very unselfish. But please do it with a husband...my conservative and unpopular opinion.
Point 3: You don't have the same energy and stamina you did when you were 25 and 35. Neither do I. Neither do most people. Accept that.
^^ Is their higher rate of autism and mental retardation though???
Age or mandatory vaccines... same outcome...
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Never give up, never surrender
No; it's not to late....I have decreed it.....so it must be so....right
