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Location: Living near our Nation's Capitol since 2010
2,218 posts, read 3,453,976 times
Reputation: 6035
Re suicide, threats mean very little..most who are serious dont bother with that. I suggest that you read up on the subject, there is a lot on the internet.
Meds for both of you at this point are likely a good idea.
I know that the people who threaten suicide are usually the ones who dont actually do it, but his brother did tell his wife that he was going to do it. He actually would threaten her with it all the time. After a while she didnt believe him, until he did it. So that makes me worry.
I really am afraid to take meds. but I guess if our doctor thinks it would help we should at least try.
My emotions are so all over the place right now. I do have second thoughts, I wonder if I am making a big mistake. But I think back to how, for so long, the thought of being being physical with him makes me ill. How I would dread when it came time to lay in bed with him. How we never have anything worth talking about except the kids. If I let him home, it will be that much harder when he has to leave again. Because in my heart, I really feel there is nothing left.
I really feel like I cant take anymore. I really need professional help. I cant wait until my appointment.
What'da'ya say you show everyone here some respect and don't post back up until you've had that imaginary appointment you've been whining about for the last 8 pages.
I know that the people who threaten suicide are usually the ones who dont actually do it, but his brother did tell his wife that he was going to do it. He actually would threaten her with it all the time. After a while she didnt believe him, until he did it. So that makes me worry.
I really am afraid to take meds. but I guess if our doctor thinks it would help we should at least try.
My emotions are so all over the place right now. I do have second thoughts, I wonder if I am making a big mistake. But I think back to how, for so long, the thought of being being physical with him makes me ill. How I would dread when it came time to lay in bed with him. How we never have anything worth talking about except the kids. If I let him home, it will be that much harder when he has to leave again. Because in my heart, I really feel there is nothing left.
I really feel like I cant take anymore. I really need professional help. I cant wait until my appointment.
I was wondering if you lost these feelings for your husband when you became interested in the guy in the office? Life can become less exciting when you have been married for quite awhile, but other wonderful things replace that. It is true that for the most part people that talk about suicide do not follow through, but it still does happen. We were in the funeral business for years and saw many suicides, the youngest was an 8 year old child, I have never forgotten that scene. At the very least, these people are sending out for hope. I think anyone that has been through a divorce, feel like it is a death. I hope for the best for your family, please make sure that your children get all the help they need. There are times when they blame themselves for the divorce.
Update, He left on Wed of last week. It was very painful to say the least. The kids are on and off with their emotions, which I guess is normal. He is not doing so well though. He calls me and text me all time. He has not come to terms with it yet. Is that normal? How long is the average that is should take before he grasps that it is really over. This is just making it harder on our girls. His emotions are so up and down. ONe minute he is ok the next he is crying. My family says this is normal because it has only been a couple of days and beacause he is staying with my sister. They feel once he moves into his new place (DEC 1) he will start facing reality. But I am not so sure.
Is this the part where we are suppose to make you feel better about ruining your marriage and childrens/husbands life???? Oh sorry, I guess I missed the point.
What amazes me is that you are so cold hearted that you don't even care.
I know that the people who threaten suicide are usually the ones who dont actually do it, but his brother did tell his wife that he was going to do it. He actually would threaten her with it all the time. After a while she didnt believe him, until he did it. So that makes me worry. .
That is not correct. Almost ALL suicides have discussed and told friends and loved ones about their intentions.
Ms Confused,
I understand you say you were so miserable and you did what you felt you had to. Now, instead of being this 'free' person you imagined, it's time to put on your big girl panties and deal with this mess you (and no one else) made of not only your life, but the lives of your children, your spouse and also your sister.
SUCK IT UP AND BE AN ADULT! You want your freedom, you gotta work for it.
Someone has to be the grownup and help the others through this. Your kids can't do it, and your spouse is incapable at this time, so that leaves YOU.
Your kids and spouse have 7 stages to get through. They need to mourn the death of this relationship and only YOU can make them understand a very critical fact -they did nothing wrong. It was not their fault. You need to step up and take all the heat for this. Right now.
Location: Living near our Nation's Capitol since 2010
2,218 posts, read 3,453,976 times
Reputation: 6035
I agree with previous posters, some suicidal people will talk about the option of suicide. In my own personal experience, he talked about it in vague terms....what a relief it would be, etc. But he did not harp on it, he did not threaten it over and over, he did not hold it over me to improve our relationship, etc. Every person is different and I suggest that if someone refers to suicide, you should pay attention. However, I have come to learn that if you have a loved one who actually does it, you cannot spend your life feeling responsible. After all, it is a very private, very individual decison. I sincerely hope that you can help someone who is contemplating it.
I agree with the previous poster, there are 7 stages of grief and you have to go thru every one to finally put it aside. Divorce, like death, is a life trauma. Blame is not what its cracked up to be. When the curtain comes down, all parties need to step to their own corner and work on the wounds.
Again, therapy and possibly drug intervention is not a crutch but a life line. Best wishes
sassyone-Honestly, I have had these thoughts about leaving my husband for quite a while. Maybe years, long before the attraction to the guy at work. My husband agrees that he was not happy either. He told me this morning that he always thought is was a good sign that we NEVER fought, but now he realizes that maybe that just ment that there was nothing left between us, no more passion. I agree. I have felt like there has been nothing there except comfort and famililarity for years.
siobjuan-I know this is all my doing and I constantly try to reinforce that to everyone. I love my kids so much and I am doing everything I can to help them through this as best I can.
Flightattendent-Suicide is a very scary thing. I think all parties who experience it have guilt to some extent. what exactly are the seven stages of greif?
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