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But today with pedophiles around ever corner it is
totally inappropriate.Tell her to talk to her sister
about what happened.I'm sure she will explain to her
in detail the issues.I think her motives were sincere though
I mean your girlfriend was there the whole time
I don't think it is the sort of thing to break up over
But it sounds like I'm the only one Everyone else here seems to think you should run
Maybe I'm like your girfriend, clueless.
Last edited by HairyandScary; 11-03-2008 at 10:10 PM..
Here's a question.. are there cultures in the world where people including children not only stay in the bed of adults but stay in the bed of adults completely naked and not necessarily in a sexual way?
The answer = yes (if they can do it.. you can)
Sure, perhaps that is the case. But with families that know one other, not random people you've known for one day?!
However personally with my boundaries, I wouldn't want some random kid dropped in my bed and then have photos taken of it, sexual innuendo or not. I don't think that is appropriate. Nor would I want someones random cat or dog dumped in my bed either, for instance. Nor would I want some random chick jumping in my bed in the middle of the night.(yes it has happened, everyone's fantasy I'm sure, but hey I'd like to at least know their name first).
So frankly in my personal bedroom, in my personal bed, I don't want any random person or animal dumped in it and especially not photos taken of it. Just that people think that would be appropriate or wise, causes me to recoil. I don't like people that have no concept of personal space or boundaries.
I'm sure the girlfriend "meant well", but sometimes there is no excuse for being stupid.
And sadly in this digital and legally overbearing day and age, it doesn't take much for something to be misinterpreted. Examine the number of people that have lost jobs or had issues due to something being posted on facebook and myspace.
If I were the mother of the child I would be furious!!! So, no I don't think that you are overreacting, I think that the gf is ridiculous BUT....she (the gf) was not thinking that you were some stranger, she was thinking that you are a man that she knows and loves and how cute the little family is! The gf will see you as overreacting for sure! Good luck buddy!!!
Has the g/f done rash, spur of the moment things like this before? Is this her nature? If so maybe you are overreacting. Maybe she just needs to know that somethings cross the line. Sort of like a practical joke that crosses the line.If this incident was a first for her, then I would be somewhat concerned about her judgement. In either case I would let her know that you are concerned about her decision making skills.
I think you are over reacting a lil. I completely understand you being upset about the situation. But I think you should speak with her first and get her point of view. I don't think it is something to break up over especially if this was the first time she has done something like this.
From her point of view she cares about you a lot if she trusted you in the same bed with her niece.
From your point of view...I wouldn't want some practically random kid in my bed without my permission. I wouldn't want pics taken of me without my knowledge and naked with a child regardless of gender.
You need to explain to your GF what is or isn't appropriate. What's more, what if her sister found the photos? How the heck would you explain that? Knowing just how squeamish we are today about this stuff (Appropriately, I might add), your first clue that she found out might be in the form of the police coming to pick you up.
In fact, for your own protection, I would set a back fire right now and let her family know that this happened. Make it sound like a joke or something so your GF doesn't think you're throwing her under the bus, but make sure that they know you had nothing to do with it and how freaked out you were about it. That way, when the photos come out later (And they will), you have a clean conscience.
That incident is just so weird. I would be really pissed off at being put into that situation. And I bet her sister would be even more outraged.
I know someone who was settup somewhat like this and it ruined his life. The child's family tried to blackmail him for a small fortune and when he didn't give in, they went to the police to try to coerce him. The police ran with it and it was too late for the family to back out of their story. To avoid a disgusting trial, his parents (who were paying for the attorney) forced him into accepting a plea bargain for probation. This was over 15 years ago, so after the sex-offender laws came out and there was no grandfathering of former offenders, his life was over. He can't get a decent job anywhere and is always afraid of someone finding out.
Don't try to figure out her intentions. Just protect yourself.
I know someone who was settup somewhat like this and it ruined his life. The child's family tried to blackmail him for a small fortune and when he didn't give in, they went to the police to try to coerce him. The police ran with it and it was too late for the family to back out of their story. To avoid a disgusting trial, his parents (who were paying for the attorney) forced him into accepting a plea bargain for probation. This was over 15 years ago, so after the sex-offender laws came out and there was no grandfathering of former offenders, his life was over. He can't get a decent job anywhere and is always afraid of someone finding out.
Don't try to figure out her intentions. Just protect yourself.
Good point. I would tell some friends about this now to protect yourself, just in case the family really is in cahoots. The more I think about this situation, the weirder it gets. But, at the same time, you have to be really careful about how you extract yourself from this situation.
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