Help: girlfriend wants to bring another man in our relationship

[djfish34ren]

these girls, all the same,
playin' around like love's a game
take advice and just forget
the day when y'all two met
there's plenty of fish out in the sea,
this one's a b----, let her leave
dude, you act like she's the s---,
does she have a nice a-- & nice big t---?
lately, you ain't been the same,
always down, it's pretty lame
acting like a little boy
who lost his favorite army toys

[sportsfangal]

yeah, it is creepy, I was just trying to offer a suggestion to txguy to help. I don't condone threesomes, etc. because i think it will only be hurtful and awkward when it's over. unless that's something that 2 people are into all the time. to each his own?

[RedneckZ284]

Tell her you've had a fantasy of her watching you with 2 maybe even 3 other women, I bet she'll drop it. It's sleezy of her to even say that, I'd be keeping a close eye on things if I said no, just to make sure she doesn't cheat. Then again I'd probably just tell her if she wanted another man, then she can go out and have one and I'd dump her..life moves on, I would too.

[dvcgal]

Originally Posted by txguy2009

I know this is PG-13 so I'll keep it that way...

So my gf of several years, thinking about getting married. She has a fantasy of me watching her with another man.

I love her a lot and want her to be happy, but I'm worried what this will do to us, like me being jealous or her liking him in the end.

Does anyone have experience here?

No experience and no I would not allow this to happen!!!
Once you are married or even talking about getting married, this kind of stuff has to stop. I have seen and met people who were so called 'open' in their relationships and I swear, this never works out in the end! It may work for a short time and may even work for a few years, but sooner or later this kind of event pops up to bite you in the you know what!!! Stay away from this kind of behavior!!!

[rego00123]

Humongous necrothread or not

If you have worry it's becuase you already know the answer to the questions in your head.

[49ersfan27]

Time to get a new girlfriend pal.

[NVplumber]

Sheesb. The whole threesome thing. A five hear old thread brought back with a rather bulging line on the PG 13 rule. My opinion and experience that brought me to it say that fantasy is best left in fantasy land. Not to say there aren't couples who make KT work, but k know it won't for me. The thought of my girl with someone else in bed, don't care what sex the other is, does nothing for me but bring on thoughts of a (another) broken heart. No WAY! I lve her far to much, and our relationship votes sooooo far beyond just sex.

Sorry, but I call BS with people who can do that and call it "love". Its nothing but sex. Base, simple, and purely physical. That's NOT love.

[monumentus]

Originally Posted by txguy2009

Does anyone have experience here?

Some. Most of it vicarious and indirect. Some small amount of it direct.

Your situation is very general - and it is not clear what your pro and con feelings actually are. Just a few "what ifs" and "maybes".

As such I can only give you general advice and that advice would be NEVER to engage in sexual activity of any kind SOLELY to please someone else. If you are not _also_ happy with the situation or scenario then simply do not do it.

If this sexual fantasy is not one you care to indulge you need to make this clear to her. Especially before you get married. Often sexual fantasies are not that important. She might just say "Oh ok - just thought I would ask" and that will be that. However sometimes they can be important enough that it might be a relationship stopper for her. And best to know this BEFORE marriage than after.

So if this is not for you - make that clear now.

Focus on the good here too however. Many people do not have good enough communication in their relationship that they would even feel ABLE let alone COMFORTABLE bringing up such discussions and talking about them openly. This is a GOOD thing and not to be dismissed lightly. Be happy in this.

If you have any specific questions about such scenarios however - or more specific advice or information - I am happy to draw on my direct and indirect experience of the matter to inform you further.

Originally Posted by txguy2009

I know what cuckolding is, but I want to know about consequences for my relationship.

That entirely depends on you and youre relationship. One persons consequence is another persons benefit. And vice versa. So really this is something only you can actual answer - not us. I am only at this point noticing this is a zombie thread however. Perhaps as I read on through it you might have informed us how things went - but if not perhaps you will now this thread is alive again. Either way my advice stands for anyone else who might read this thread in a similar scenario.

Originally Posted by Philosophizer

true, but there are some women out there who wouldn't ask you to be a part of some sexually deviant freak show either.

Thankfully what the OP is discussing is no such thing.

Originally Posted by SouthernBelleInUtah

Most of these relationships do not survive the 3-way. Doesn't matter which combo it is, 2 men, 2 women, it ends up the same. Someone gets hurt, usually the one who didn't think of it. The probelm with fetishes, which is what wanting to watch is, is that eventually the person who wanted to do it can't "do it" without that extra.

That entire post appears to be to be sensationalist egagerating.

Originally Posted by HairyandScary

If you do this, its with a girl you see no long term future with

Not ever with your long term girlfriend

No reason why not. People do it all the time. And with no ill effect.

Originally Posted by Rance

I have none...nor would I want to. Funny how she wants to be with another guy and not you with another gal. How selfish of her.

Not selfish at all. In fact it is quite common that sexual fantasies only go one way. There is nothing wrong in this. What makes it right or wrong is merely how it affects the people involved.

Originally Posted by Mathguy

Some fantasy's are fine, others just cannot be acted upon without doing some damage.

ALL fantasies between consensual adults are fine. And ALL fantasies when realised have the potential for harm. The OP really is the only one to decide how he feels about this and what he wants to happen or not happen - and then discuss this with his partner.

Originally Posted by Lucario

Makes all the sense in the world. Marriage does not involve wanting to fulfill kinky fantasies involving other men.

By definition marrriage does not include any such thing no. But nor does it preclude it either.

Originally Posted by artsyguy

Nothing good can come out of love triangles.

Except it can. And often does. I myself am a case in point in that I am in a truple not a couple. And we could not be happier thank you very much. And many "good things" have come out of it - including our 2 of 4 planned children - our wonderful circles of friends - and the bonding and love that now exists between our three familes.

Originally Posted by djfish34ren

If a third party needs to be present to make either person feel more into it... then obviously there is a problem and it is NEVER going to work out.

Did the OPs post suggest any such thing however? In the OP post the OP suggests his partner wants to try this as a fulfilling of a fantasy. Nowhere does it say she NEEDS a 3rd party to feel "into it".

We as a species have the capacity to explore fantasy scenarios in sex. Our desire and ability to do so is no marking down of the "regular" sex life we enjoy between such islands of exploration. That a woman would want to try this to explore it says nothing of her quality of enjoyment of the sex life she has while not engaging the fantasy.

Originally Posted by RedneckZ284

Tell her you've had a fantasy of her watching you with 2 maybe even 3 other women, I bet she'll drop it.

He should only tell her this if it is actually true. Otherwise what you are advising is essentially lying in order to engage in psychological manipulation of another.

Originally Posted by RedneckZ284

It's sleezy of her to even say that

No. It is not. Not even a little. People have fantasies all the time. And one of the joys of having a romantic partner is the ability to express and vocalise - and where it fits everyone concerned - even explore such fantasies.

Originally Posted by sallymae125

However I do feel selfish because i won't allow another female into our relationship

No need to feel selfish on this. They are entirely different fantasies. The goal in exploration of fantasies is to find ones that fit ALL the people concerned. If one works for both of you - while another one does not work for both of you - then engage the former and not the latter.

That one works and another does not however - is not grounds for guilt. Sex is a shared experience - not a barter system of trades.

[Frihed89]

Originally Posted by txguy2009

I know what cuckolding is, but I want to know about consequences for my relationship.

You will be humiliated.

[LXXXI]

Dump her. NOW.

If you stay with her and do this, you will regret it forever.

If you tell her no, she'll just cheat on you. She's already basically told you as much.

Do. Not. Stay. With. This. Woman.