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I'm an older man, age 58 and I've never seen it as hard to find an interested woman in NY as it is now. Every woman I know (even those over 60) seem to all have interested men (plural) to choose from. 4 women to every 2 men? Then many of the more considered desirable men over 60 in NY must be "double playing" or leading more than one woman on.
The study I'm referring to, the map doesn't take into consideration the fact that in NY 2008 any woman can find a mate if she chooses wisely because ANY woman is considered desirable to a certain segment of men because of the loneliness felt by these men due to the high pickiness of todays NY women and even the over 60 women are just as picky (for stupidficial reasons) as they were as kids............."looks", "macho appearance", "height", "chemistry" (ALL of which are looks) are STILL being demanded and niceness, loyalty, communication, all the other IMPORTANT factors which women claim to want...........are being rejected if the man has no "chemistry" (isn't good looking) with these older and younger NY women.
The study doesn't take the makeup factor into consideration: That older women will use makeup, hairdye, slimming looking expensive fashion and clothes (plus corsets, girdles) to attract a stupidficially "desirable" man (looks, height, rugged appearance, "chemistry", money) while us plain, ordinary, lonely men don't have these gimmicks to fall back on.
Maybe those statistically 4 single women in NY have the SAME statistically 1 single and stupidficially "desirable" man to choose from as "he" flits from woman to woman (and he tells them that "you" are the only one) while the second single man really wants to marry one of those statiscally 4 single women but gets rejected?
I'd be the best husband a woman could ever have.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rusty_Shackleford
when it comes to young singles, almost all places are imbalanced in favor of women. There are more young single men. Including in NYC. This is because more males are born than females, and because women marry older men on average.
But, there are other things to account for. Homosexuals are (per capita) more likely than hetero/bisexuals to relocate to a large city like NYC, and there tends to be more gay men than gay women in general. So this can help even things out in terms of a ratio of straight single men/women. An estimated 6% of NYC's population is gay/lesbian/bisexual ( Gay village - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia )
This site has a useful gender ratio comparison for young singles: Half Sigma: Unmarried male/female ratio by MSA
It only calculates the ratio from white non-hispanics, due to the other factors that can alter the ratio for hispanics/blacks (migrant workers, incarceration, murder, etc). For unmarried non-hispanic whites aged 25-40, about 45% are women and 55% are men. Non-metropolitan areas have a slightly lower percentage of women. New York City is only slightly above average in its percentage of women of this category (45.6%).
Here is a very neat site: The New, Interactive Singles Map. Or, Looking for Love in All the Statistically Wrong Places.
It has a map showing the rate of single men to single women in each metro area, and you can have it show stats for any age group you wish. Generally speaking, the east coast is more favorable for men (more single women, relatively) compared to the west coast.
For singles aged 18-34, there are "29 extra single men per 1000 people" in the NYC metro area. I'm not certain about the accuracy of that though, because this site only counts singles that have *never been* married... it doesn't include those divorced or widowed. For ages 18-64, there are "17 extra women per 1000 people"... which understates things, because overall there are something like 90 men per 100 women in NYC.
Here is the city-data age graph for NYC:
Anyway, as to whether a gender imbalance can affect the dating scene much? I think it can if the imbalance is significant enough. I've even read a suggestion by either a sociologist or economist that the gender imbalance in urban African American communities may be a contributor to their high rate of out of wedlock births, and fatherless families --- as in, since men have many women to choose from, they don't need to be monogamous or committed to get laid, so they don't form a stable family. This has been researched to happen in demographics of men that are highly valued by women -- men who are very wealthy, with top tier jobs --- they have so many women to choose from that some of them find no reason to commit, since they can sleep around all they want to.
Consider this hypothetical example of a gender imbalance effect. An imbalance of say 9 men for 10 women doesn't sound like much. But lets say these 19 people already formed 6 couples. So that leaves 3 men for every 4 women. Maybe one of the 9 guys is gay... that would make it 2 straight/bi single men for every 4 straight/bi single women. That's a serious imbalance!
For many reasons, young women and older men generally have the most to choose from in the dating 'market', while things are harder for older women and young men.
The New York City dating/marriage scene is bad due to the superficial (stupidficial) values of the people who do the choosing/rejecting of potential mates.
Looks (facial, height, body, figure, "rugged" appearance, weight, so called "chemistry") have nothing to do with love and aren't a logical reason for marriage.
Thats the way it is anywhere you go. Looks do matter, however superficial it is. Its what initially attracts people together. Now for long-term if thats the only thing they have, then the relationship will ultimately fail. You dont have to be the best looking guy in the world. But dressing nice, staying well groomed and clean will definitely help.
if you have money, good looks, charming then it does not matter what the gender balance is
At least a man in NY, without everything going for him, has some chance. Where I come from, the imbalance is in favor of the women and there are lots of single guys. Then, when we visit the east, where the situation is reversed, we get the third degree about being single! We can't win.
Women have to come to urban centers in order to prove themselves in a man's world
Men can stay out in the rural areas doing labor that women cannot do
I don't agree with this. Women gravitate to cities with jobs in industries like banking and insurance. NY is such a place.
Men will travel farther for higher paid jobs and these jobs may also require a technical education, that fewer women get. I live in such a city. Since the men are in surplus and well paid, the women are very picky.
Many rural areas and smaller cities and towns have a "surplus" of women since the young men are more likely to leave for employment. These are the places that a visiting single man with a good job is looked upon suspiciously. At best, they feeling is that he is shirking his `responsibilities`since there are so many `deserving`single women there.
Finally, there is nothing like work in the trades in a booming region to really bring in the bucks. However, such places often have a 3:1 male to female ratio and when one considers only the single people, the ratio can be 10:1.
Thats a good statistic. Anyway, standards drop considerably with age. People settle. In fact i think the majority of marriages are a result of settling, the others get divorced. Just find someone you care about and are compatible with. People overcomplicate things.
You oversimplify them.
Yes, women settle. They often get more desperate as the biological clock runs out. This is often very unfortunate if they settle for the wrong reasons and on the wrong things. Often this means taking the castoffs from early divorces - usually a bad bet.
If anything, single men get more picky. Women attribute it to them only being interested in younger women but this is a misinterpretation of the situation. In today`s society, many men, especially those who are willing to work hard to succeed, are not financially ready for marriage until they have spent many years getting an education and the experience to get a decent job. By that time, the few women left in their age group are well picked over. My experience is that the ones left are single for a good reason. One way to look at it is: If men are indeed looking for younger women, why were these women not married earlier ?
Many older men then find that being single is not such a negative thing. For men, the consequences of a bad marriage can be catastrophic, in comparison. Society no longer looks down or discriminates against them for being single, like it did 30+ years ago so there is nothing forcing them to get married.
Yeah, it's also ridiculous to say that rejecting someone based on looks is superficial. It isn't. Nobody with standards and dignity is going to date an ugly chick, I'm sorry. It's shallow if that's all he cares about, but it's perfectly natural for a good guy to want a good looking girl. Why should anyone settle for less if they don't have to?! No thanks!
And a girl settling because of her "biological clock" (a phrase I hate, and there is no such thing as a biological clock, if you ask me, it's all just societal and psychological -- it's true a girl can't have kids after a certain point, but any pressure to do so before then is purely psychological, not physical or biological) is a prime example why a lot of girls should stop being so ridiculous and give up the idea of having kids. It's not worth being with some douche just so you can pop out a few nose miners. What a stupid decision!
A lot of industries are more guy-centered and thus it's harder for guys in those professions to find girls they work with, and since so many relationships start between people who work together, that makes those professions harder. It's probably why you see a lot of lawyers dating secretaries or something, because they work together and at their law firm there probably aren't as many woman lawyers. In the film industry for instance, it's extremely male dominated. If you look at the top 10 highest grossing directors, for instance, not a SINGLE ONE is a girl. And a girl director is seen as a real anomaly. Frankly, most girl directors are terrible. The director of Twilight was a girl, she got fired off the sequels for her "irrational" behavior (a girl, irrational?! No way! lol) and will I'm sure be replaced by a guy. Girls only work in our industry as makeup artists, actresses, and sometimes set dressers, production designers occasionally, etc.
[quote=Entangled;6419639]This may be just my faulty opinion here, but in my experience most women aren't that concerned with looks. Men are a lot more concerned about the way women look.
Many of my friends (who are absolutely gorgeous and intelligent) are stuck with losers unfortunately. They aren't attractive at all and have other issues. I think that what grabs women most is a specific formula. Ready?
(left out)
There you have it. Men have it a lot easier. If you can incorporate and master those qualities you can get any woman of your preference.`
Easier ? You make it seem like all a woman has to do is sit back and pick those with these attributes and reject the rest! That seems easier to me. For any man to meet all these attributes, and do it on a regular basis, would be VERY difficult! Meanwhile, your friends are stuck with losers...... *
A lot of industries are more guy-centered and thus it's harder for guys in those professions to find girls they work with, and since so many relationships start between people who work together, that makes those professions harder. It's probably why you see a lot of lawyers dating secretaries or something, because they work together and at their law firm there probably aren't as many woman lawyers. In the film industry for instance, it's extremely male dominated. If you look at the top 10 highest grossing directors, for instance, not a SINGLE ONE is a girl. And a girl director is seen as a real anomaly. Frankly, most girl directors are terrible. The director of Twilight was a girl, she got fired off the sequels for her "irrational" behavior (a girl, irrational?! No way! lol) and will I'm sure be replaced by a guy. Girls only work in our industry as makeup artists, actresses, and sometimes set dressers, production designers occasionally, etc.
True in Hollywood there is no female version of Martin Scorsese or Clint Eastwood when it comes to women directors.
A lot of industries are more guy-centered and thus it's harder for guys in those professions to find girls they work with, and since so many relationships start between people who work together, that makes those professions harder. It's probably why you see a lot of lawyers dating secretaries or something, because they work together and at their law firm there probably aren't as many woman lawyers.
Not in NYC, there are tons of women in law, medicine, and other professions. The days of the secretary making good and scoring an executive husband is something that occurred in the past, but is not the same today. Women in NYC have parity with men in most industries, and I know many dual lawyer and dual doctor couples in New York.
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