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Yesterday I was at the mall witha group of friends (three girls and three guys, including me) and we saw a guy yelling at his woman outside Gap. He was going crazy, like he specifically wanted to humiliate her in front of everybody. She tried to walk away but he grabbed her and pulled her toward him and kept on with the tirade. She was a real cute Latina with curves in all the right places so I don't think she had any shortage of men wanting her. But the thing about it is that she seemed to like it: the puppy dog eyes, the pouty frown, and the shriveling stance somehow made her appear as a submissive who secretly likes this kind of behavior.
After the scene was over we got into a discussion, which quickly degenerated into a gender war argument. Basically, the women said he had no right to treat her like that and one of us should have stepped in. Me and the rest of the dudes didn't agree with that chick logic. I took the forefront and pointed out the following:
1. She basically seemed to enjoy that kind of treatment, so why interfere?
2. Women hold prominent roles in society nowadays. We recently nearly had a female president and then, after she dropped out, we recently had a female vice-president. There are many women in the military and in the police force. One of the security guards at the mall is a female. I also pointed out to the loudest chick how she was in kickboxing class and her instructor was a 5'2" skinny brunette who made a living teaching men over 6 feet how to defend themselves. Thus, with all the advances women have made there is no reason why women can't take care of themselves.
3. Two events in my life changed my outlook on the whole situation:
--a friend of mine was leaving a house party and noticed a guy pushing around his girl. my friend told the guy to bug off and led the girl away from him, then my friend left. he drove miles away to his apartment and when he got out of the car to go inside the guy drove up to him, pulled out his gun, and threateningly said, "if you ever get in my business again you'll regret it", and then he drove off.
--my brother was at a house party when he noticed a guy pushing around a girl. my brother pushed the dude away and tried to get the girl away from him but a second later --BAM!-- the dude cracked a chair over his back and had to be rushed to the hospital and get stitches.
Chivalry is dead. Let it stay that way. In today's modern society there is no reason why a woman can't take care of herself, unless she secretly wants to be abused. Does anyone agree with me?
You and your friends should have notified security or someone at the mall if y'all were just gonna stand around and watch! Hopefully, this will never happen to your mother, sister, girlfriend, wife or daughter and no one has the balls to interfer. I have called Children's services on a prominent lawyer who was beating the tar out of his small son in a very public place. Several men stood up to him and told him to stop immediately. He did and may have saved that child's life (or made it more miserable).
Most women could not defend themselves against most men. Males are inherently stronger than females. Period.
So if you were a male you would help out a female?
I wouldn't because many of those males are mentally off-balanced. Not unless I am planning a fist fight. I would not get involved.
If I see the woman getting hit I would step in. But this one day a guy was trashing this cute girl who was pregnant. I stepped up to the guy's face and told him: Why don't you talk to me like you do to her and see what happens mother f-er" He right away recoiled back and the cute little pregnant girl did a 180 on me and turned into the most fouls mouthed beast on earth. She really let me have and I just walked away like whatever.
So there are some pro and cons getting involved on a couple's arguments. But the way I see it is if I had a sister or my own daughter being abused like that, then I would definately draw first blood.
I have intervened in a couple different public situations involving some guy whippin' on some gal. On all occasions this happened I did so because the scene was spilling onto me and my family. Malls are a good place to have this happen. AND on all occasions the woman being attacked was screaming at the top of her beaten lungs "DON"T HURT HIM!!!" and even attacking me.. The last place ya want to be is in the middle of a situation like this and I would have not gotten involved had thing stayed at more of a distance. I'd have maybe called the cops but no more. If a gall is being abused she need to GETOUT of the "relationship!! Ladies...he AIN"T gonna change no matter how hard you try or how much you "love" him.
I do work at a women's shelter within Bergen County. It's a safe haven for women of domestic violence abuse. The average woman goes back 7 times before she leaves for good or dies at the hands of her abuser.
Stand up for what you believe in even if you are standing alone !
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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I'm going to refrain from saying what I think of the O/P's remarks b'c I feel he did enough damage to himself.
I will comment on whether I feel chivalry is dead:
On our way home from celebrating my birthday dining out, my husband and I came upon a pickup truck ahead of us pulling over frequently and talking to women. It was clear he was trying to pick someone up.
One girl took a ride--dumb, yes, but it was around zero degrees and she was probably freezing. Almost as soon as she got in, she tried to jump out, the door came opened, he hit her in the face or head and reached past her to close it. He then sped away, striking her repeatedly about the head for the first few miles we could stay close enough to see.
I freaked. I told my husband to follow him so we drove 100 miles an hour for five miles until he ended up in a snowbank. We pulled up along side them and he came over to us asking us to help him out of the ditch. We said we would if he let her out of the truck first. He walked back to his truck and both our hearts were pounding out of our chests. We were sure he was going to come back with a shotgun. But he let her out and we put her in the car and gave her a rag to cover her face which was battered and bloody.
We flagged a cop down and the guy was arrested. The cop called us the next day to tell us they found another woman's purse in his truck with her id in it. It wasn't the woman's whom we rescued.
However, the next day, he was out in the snowbank digging his car out. As we drove past he stopped and stared at us. I guess he recognized us.
So, cowardliness and self-centeredness may be alive and well but some people will still not stand by and watch others be brutalized b'c we assume they enjoy it or deserve it.
But the thing about it is that she seemed to like it: the puppy dog eyes, the pouty frown, and the shriveling stance somehow made her appear as a submissive who secretly likes this kind of behavior.
1. She basically seemed to enjoy that kind of treatment, so why interfere?
2. Women hold prominent roles in society nowadays. We recently nearly had a female president and then, after she dropped out, we recently had a female vice-president. There are many women in the military and in the police force. One of the security guards at the mall is a female. I also pointed out to the loudest chick how she was in kickboxing class and her instructor was a 5'2" skinny brunette who made a living teaching men over 6 feet how to defend themselves. Thus, with all the advances women have made there is no reason why women can't take care of themselves.
WHAT???? How could you even think this? NO WOMAN ENJOYS BEING ABUSED. It doesn't matter how strong, successful and physically able to defend herself, women are vulnerable to an abusive man and WE HATE IT. I was in an abusive marriage for 12 years and my husband did this to me sooooo many times in public places. I've been weight training for years and able to defend myself, but men are always, ALWAYS, stronger.
You said she tried to leave... how does that tell you that she enjoys this? Or is it something you want to believe to substantiate not doing anything to help her?
I agree that you shouldn't have stepped in, but you could have called mall security or done something. If anything, the girls you were with should have asked her if she were OK. Men won't attack another female.
Sorry if I sound angry, but this hits too close to home for me. My husband and I were living with my parents for over 2 years and they watched him abuse me all the time and did nothing. Even the nights when I was running outside in my nightgown to escape his wrath. Now, they tell me that they thought I was strong enough to deal with him myself. WTF!!!
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. The last place ya want to be is in the middle of a situation like this and I would have not gotten involved had thing stayed at more of a distance. I'd have maybe called the cops but no more. If a gall is being abused she need to GETOUT of the "relationship!! Ladies...he AIN"T gonna change no matter how hard you try or how much you "love" him.
