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...And wound up talking to a very prominent divorce attorney in town. She was pretty cotton-picking funny about the subject, but she told me one startling statistic: Divorces are down something like 18% in the past year.
Not because couples are getting along better, mind you, but because their home values have plummeted.
So my question is this: If you wake up one morning and decide to divorce your spouse, wouldn't you rather just take your financial lumps than live with somebody you hated?
And, if you have been one of those people who gutted it out for financial reasons, what was it like? And what was the point where you could finally divorce? I mean, if you were still having marital relations with somebody because you were waiting for your home value to go up, isn't that in effect prostituting oneself?
This is nothing new. It may be more pronounced now due to the economy. But, folks have been weighing the practicalities of divorce, the timing etc, forever. It's a cost benefit thing, apparently.
...And wound up talking to a very prominent divorce attorney in town. She was pretty cotton-picking funny about the subject, but she told me one startling statistic: Divorces are down something like 18% in the past year.
Not because couples are getting along better, mind you, but because their home values have plummeted.
So my question is this: If you wake up one morning and decide to divorce your spouse, wouldn't you rather just take your financial lumps than live with somebody you hated?
And, if you have been one of those people who gutted it out for financial reasons, what was it like? And what was the point where you could finally divorce? I mean, if you were still having marital relations with somebody because you were waiting for your home value to go up, isn't that in effect prostituting oneself?
See...this is just another indicator of the tendency to want to take the easiest path. Yeah...you would think the financial lumps would not matter a bit, but sometimes, (and often I suspect), they are much worse than the issues that the couple is (or isn't) dealing with in the relationship.
Economists have known for decades that marriage is a cost/benefit, minimax thing. (See: Gary Becker and [URL="http://www.economictheories.org/2008/08/gary-stanley-becker-marriage.html"]Economic: Gary Stanley Becker Marriage[/URL])
Interesting . Makes sense and is consistent with what I have expierienced.
...And wound up talking to a very prominent divorce attorney in town. She was pretty cotton-picking funny about the subject, but she told me one startling statistic: Divorces are down something like 18% in the past year.
Not because couples are getting along better, mind you, but because their home values have plummeted.
So my question is this: If you wake up one morning and decide to divorce your spouse, wouldn't you rather just take your financial lumps than live with somebody you hated?
And, if you have been one of those people who gutted it out for financial reasons, what was it like? And what was the point where you could finally divorce? I mean, if you were still having marital relations with somebody because you were waiting for your home value to go up, isn't that in effect prostituting oneself?
There was a discussion way back in the summer about the same subject on a London talk radio station. I won't say its prostituting oneself when so many marriages are shams anyway, which would render a helluva lot of married women who stay with their spouses ho's.
Years ago, one of my closest Russian friends told me it was quite common for couples to get divorced and then continue to live together. They would have loved to move into different places, but they were stuck together for financial and housing shortage reasons. Back in the day, moving around wasn't so easy, either. I imagine things got especially interesting when the former spouses started dating again.
I don't think it would be prostitutioning yourself out. Just because 2 people have called it quits doesn't mean their physical needs go away.
Consider this.. if 2 people are on the path of divorce but cannot do it because of the financial aspects... wouldn't it be better that the keep the physical aspect within rather than seeing physical gradification elsewhere? It would be taking care of a need that BOTH parties have.
And.. never know... if so many couples are kept in their marriage because of the economy, maybe it creates a gateway for "working things out."
I don't think it would be prostitutioning yourself out. Just because 2 people have called it quits doesn't mean their physical needs go away.
Consider this.. if 2 people are on the path of divorce but cannot do it because of the financial aspects... wouldn't it be better that the keep the physical aspect within rather than seeing physical gradification elsewhere? It would be taking care of a need that BOTH parties have.
And.. never know... if so many couples are kept in their marriage because of the economy, maybe it creates a gateway for "working things out."
Yeah, but when you boil it down to its essence, that means you're sharing a marital bed and still doing the humpalumpadingdong for the sake of the money involved.
Well, money was one of the main considerations I had, right behind the kids, before I finally left my first wife. I had just sold my business interests for big dollars when things really went south. I hated to give up half of that. So I stuck it out for 10 years, until the kids were in college, and gave up ALL of it!
But I wasn't "still doing the humpalumpadingdong for the sake of the money involved," because I wasn't doing the humpalumpadingdong at all!
On Edit: Yeah, I probably should have left her 10 years sooner, but I stayed mainly for the kids. It would have been hard to leave them. But it was hell staying. I'm a person who needs to feel loved, and I wasn't.
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