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Absolutely............without hesitation. I doubt I could bring myself to love a woman without loving the whole package. In today's society that includes the kids.
Besides, look at the assets you bring........experience in budgeting, living frugally, sharing, cooking, etc. Chances of a woman in your situation becoming a "cheater" is pretty slim......most women wouldn't risk a good relationship for a little extraneous sex.
A word of caution, though. Losers don't make good spouses.........and too often a woman (particularly one with kids) feels the need to provide the kids a father and daddy figure......besides a queen sized bed is lonely when there is no one to share it with. Don't let a guys attention make you lose your focus on what kind of guy he really is. Make sure he is stable, financially and emotionally. I would go so far as to check his bank statements, get a credit score, etc. Make sure you are not getting into a relationship with a guy whose only method for getting laid is to find a desperate woman. Be cautious about getting a control freak or a momma's boy. Depending on your age, take a close look at an older fella whose kids are grown, or look for a single daddy with a couple of kids of his own.
But would I date a woman with kids? Probably not the kind of date I would have with a woman without kids. I can't imagine trying to keep some preteens quiet in an opera.......but Frisbees in the park would be a riot........
I'm not single but I can tell you about my sister. She lost her husband and was alone with 4 children. The man she met had lost his wife and had 2 children. After they were married the had one of their own. That was 40 years ago. My BIL passed away last year. It was a joy to hear the 5 boys/men, (3 your's 1 mine 1 our's) talking together about what a great father he had been. I can't imagine what you are going through now but be assured there are men who can love you and your children.
Would you date a single mother of three? I'm not looking for anyone anytime soon, however since my husband passed I wonder am I destined to be alone forever.
If I was single, yes I would consider it (depending on you and your kids, of course)
Quote:
Originally Posted by rippedoff0421
Also, could you ever really love someone else's children as if they we're your own?
Probably not, but it would depend on their ages and what they are like. The older they are, the less time we would have together, the less likely such a bond would emerge. That's not to say, however, that one could not love another's children very much. But the bond of a parent to child that develops from the moment of birth is profound and not easily replicated.
Would you date a single mother of three? I'm not looking for anyone anytime soon, however since my husband passed I wonder am I destined to be alone forever. Also, could you ever really love someone else's children as if they we're your own?
Sorry about your loss.
I can tell you that I am currently married to a man who came in after my first marriage did not go so well. When I met my current husband, my daughter was still young (under the age of 5) and he loved her and has continued to love her like she is his own. We now have our own child together, but he does not treat them differently and his family loves them equally as well. So, there is hope and there is light at the end of the tunnel, but I swear, it is just one of those things that comes when you least expect it.
Good luck!
Honestly at my age and current situation, I would not be interested in someone with 3 children. For one thing I realize I don't enjoy children that much. I think at most 2 children of my own would be my limit.
Obviously there are a lot of single moms out there. So I had given thought to whether I wanted to date someone with children and I think for a while I would have considered it if the situation with the father was squared away and I wasn't stepping into a jerry springer type situation. I think now though I would have to say no.
Maybe in 10 years my life and viewpoint will be different and I would consider it. I think what it is for me is I am a traveler/adventurer and in contrast there are some men that just want a simple job and a nice family whatever that may consist of. They are your average 9-5 working joe who comes home for dinner and while there is nothing wrong with that, that isn't me.
Thanks everyone for your response. My husband and I had been togather since we were teens and because of my loyalty for him, I can't see myself being with anyone else. I would almost feel like I'm cheating on him. However, I do want a positive male figure in my kids life. I'm not a very trusting person because of the things you hear on the NEWS, I'm affraid that someone would try to take adavantage of me or harm my children or use me for money, these are all reasons that make me say it's best that I not take any chances. However, I'm not even 30 yet and my family/friends keep telling me I have to move on and ahave a life again...I don't know how to live without him. As far as I'm concerned no other man can compare to him, but am I cheating my kids by not remarrying, do children really have to have two parents to be grow up to be well rounded good people. FYI: my children are pretty young, all under 10 years of age.
Absolutely it's possible. I have a cousin who married a woman with three children. I also know another woman who had two kids by two different fathers - her third husband adopted one of the kids (the one whose Dad is not still in the picture) but loves both of her kids as though they were his.
Just because certain individuals on this forum would not date/marry a woman with kids does NOT mean that there aren't men out there who will, and happily so.
I know it's hard to imagine being with anyone else again, but give it some time, concentrate on yourself and your kids for a while, and who knows what the future may bring for you.
I'm sorry for your loss and hope that things brighten up for you again soon.
Thanks everyone for your response. My husband and I had been togather since we were teens and because of my loyalty for him, I can't see myself being with anyone else. I would almost feel like I'm cheating on him. However, I do want a positive male figure in my kids life. I'm not a very trusting person because of the things you hear on the NEWS, I'm affraid that someone would try to take adavantage of me or harm my children or use me for money, these are all reasons that make me say it's best that I not take any chances. However, I'm not even 30 yet and my family/friends keep telling me I have to move on and ahave a life again...I don't know how to live without him. As far as I'm concerned no other man can compare to him, but am I cheating my kids by not remarrying, do children really have to have two parents to be grow up to be well rounded good people. FYI: my children are pretty young, all under 10 years of age.
You're young and while you may not be ready now, you do, at some point, have to move on. This does not mean that you have to forget about him or stop loving him, but if he loved you then he would want you to be happy with someone else.
As far as children growing up with two parents, I do think that it is best to have a positive father and mother figure in any child's life. That said, I know several people who lost parents as a young child or teen and they turned out fine. I am an example of that. I lost my father when I was 11 and I turned out pretty good. My mother remarried, but not until I was 20 and she did not start dating until I was 18 and out of the house. I wish I had someone like a father that I could have turned to when I was dealing with boys and when I got married, but that is life and nothing is forever. My father's death was sudden and unexpected and I still struggle with his death from time to time, but overall, his death made me who I am today and I realize that I had younger siblings that were cheated out of our situation, more so than myself. I had two younger brothers, one was 3 and one was a year old and they never got to know him. The oldest is a marine and the youngest is a junior in high school, but their futures are bright and hopefull.
Just try to keep your head up and remember that it is okay to have good days and it is okay to have bad days.
I've seen a lot of army widows that had 2 or 3 children and most of them had no trouble getting remarried.
I think great things are possible, but obviously you have to exercise caution about who you end up with.
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