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Child support is a tough number. I think many times, it's too high. But what do I know. I wish that each case could be set according to each circumstance, rather than use a set formula, but I suppose to do that would mean people would spend their lives in court trying to get their own circumstances reviewed and their support increased/reduced. And I know far too many people that do that already.
In my state, it's a fairly straight formula - in fact there is a calculator online where you just fill in the blanks. My ex's support "calculated" figure is about twice what he pays, because the lower number is what we agreed on 10 years ago. He wasn't as financially stable as I was, so I felt it was better to set the number low and not have money as an issue. I've never asked for more...he's never offered, even though he is doing very well the last few years. However, he has our son's college education in the bank. That works for me.
In the other thread, people keep talking about how unfair the system is to men. I'm curious as to what people think is fair in child support.
A pretty typical arrangement here is to base child support on income. If one party has physical custody, the other pays him/her 20% of their income for the first child and 10% for each additional child. If it's joint custody, the percentages I've seen are the same but it's based on the difference in incomes (I guess the logic being both parties are equally free to work if they share custody). Sounds fair to me.
What's typical where you are and why is it fair or unfair?
I'll tell you what's NOT fair in my opinion - what's not fair is that a non custodial "parent" gets to drop a kid like a hot potato the day he turns 18 - no help with college, no help with continuing to feed, clothe, take care of the kid, nothing. THAT IN NOT RIGHT. Everyone knows if you have a kid who's going to go on to college he's going to need to be fed, to have that tuition paid, to maybe need contact lenses, or go to the dentist - SOMEBODY (usually, MAMA) is gonna have to pay for that - and that is not right. DADDY should care enough to chip in to get his child launched off into into the world too. But no child support court will order this - and this is just wrong, wrong, wrong.
^^In a divorce, some should try to get that written into the papers. Shows what a great person dad/mom is if they will help their child out another 4 years if they go to college. I know in NY that is a law- I don't know how many other states do that, probably not many seeing how hard it is to get parents to pay on a regular basis much less after the child turns 18.
Then again, the excuses will start to show themselves- now that they can't point to finger at the evil custodial parent living high off the hog on usually meager support payments- the NCP will target the son/daughter.... "Be an adult and get a job", "I'm not paying for you to slack off in college".
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate
If I make 250K a year, my child will live a lifestyle that is reflective of that, living with me. If my ex is making that kind of money, he should also provide the same. I wouldn't shop at Neiman's for myself and buy Walmart for my kids. Why should he drive a Mercedes and live in a 5 BR house and only give his child enough for beenie-weenies and ramen noodles?
We look at the celebrity divorces and see ex wives getting 20K a month in child support. We can argue that that is way too exorbitant an amount. But if dad makes that much money, his kids should also live in the lifestyle that they've been accustomed. That is where the percentages serve best, IMO.
Those who complain would rather provide bare minimum if they provide at all.
I agree with you again. I can't stand when people complain about what the rich have to pay. There is one guy worth almost 300 million at least. Word got out he pays $40,000 in child support and people began to complain. I'm like seriously?? THIS is what people get all wound up about? Give me a break!
These formulas are in place because some people can't be trusted to take care of their own children. That is why there is garnishment through taxes or paycheck, license revoking, jailtime etc. I wonder why is all this in place if people did the right thing.
The woman living off of dad's child support is probably not as much as an epidemic as people are making it seem. Some people on here certainly seem to think so- especially since every child support thread turns into women jerking the system. If you want to punish all moms because some are lazy, I don't think that is fair. The kids will be suffering the most.
The woman living off of dad's child support is probably not as much as an epidemic as people are making it seem. Some people on here certainly seem to think so- especially since every child support thread turns into women jerking the system. If you want to punish all moms because some are lazy, I don't think that is fair.
There are bad apples on both sides, and sure, many here use that as an excuse to paint an entire gender with the same brush. ( In fact that happens often with other issues as well.) But, this is why we have the laws, to ensure that those who will not be responsible, will be held accountable at least.
I'll tell you what's NOT fair in my opinion - what's not fair is that a non custodial "parent" gets to drop a kid like a hot potato the day he turns 18 - no help with college, no help with continuing to feed, clothe, take care of the kid, nothing. THAT IN NOT RIGHT.
At age 18 they become adults and parents are not legally held responsible for them. College should be something agreed on during the divorce procedure.
My parents werent divorced and they didnt put out a dime for my college.
Rent: The non-custodial parent should only pay half of the portion of rent required to go from a one bedroom to a two or three bedroom depending on how many children they have. The custodial parent is responsible for their own rent and the other half for the child. Works the same for a mortgage.
Food: The non-custodial parent should pay half the cost of what it takes to feed their children. The custodial parent should pay the other half. The non-custodial parent should have a say in what the kids eat.
Clothes: Same concept as above and the non-custodial parent should have a say in the type of clothes their child wears.
Utilities: Same concept. Half the cost to heat or cool a bigger apartment/house. The custodial parent pays the other half. (Excludes telephone, cable and internet service.)
Activities: The number and type of activities should be agreed upon and both parents pay half. If they can't come to an agreement on an activity, the parent who is pushing for it should pay it all.
My idea is that the non-custodial parent should pay no more than half of what it costs to support the children and the custodial parent should also be responsible for half.
I don't think the ex-husband's income should play a role in the amount of child support unless a woman is unable to work. CS should strictly be based on what it cost to raise the child and split 50/50 regardless of income levels. Unless he is willing to pay more.
I do not understand why children don't live with both parents half time. I think that would eliminate most of the child support non-sense.
That would not work in most California cities where wages dont keep up with the cost of living.
I'll tell you what's NOT fair in my opinion - what's not fair is that a non custodial "parent" gets to drop a kid like a hot potato the day he turns 18 - no help with college, no help with continuing to feed, clothe, take care of the kid, nothing. THAT IN NOT RIGHT. Everyone knows if you have a kid who's going to go on to college he's going to need to be fed, to have that tuition paid, to maybe need contact lenses, or go to the dentist - SOMEBODY (usually, MAMA) is gonna have to pay for that - and that is not right. DADDY should care enough to chip in to get his child launched off into into the world too. But no child support court will order this - and this is just wrong, wrong, wrong.
The custodial parent is not required by law to continue to care for an adult child. If you choose to do it, it's your choice and there's nothing wrong with that. If your ex chooses differently, so be it.
The custodial parent is not required by law to continue to care for an adult child. If you choose to do it, it's your choice and there's nothing wrong with that. If your ex chooses differently, so be it.
I UNDERSTAND that. But give me a break. An 18 year old is still a kid. If you are a parent you KNOW this. Just because they turn 18 they do not magically become an adult. They still need time to transition into an adult making an adult wage. Even if they are not going to go to college they are not going to be able to support themselves with a living wage the DAY THEY TURN 18 - GIVE ME A BREAK! But especially if they are good kids who want to go to college and make something of their lives, they need help doing that - most times, mama gets stuck being the only one to give them that help because the law says daddy doesn't have to and too many daddies use that law as an easy excuse not to have to. SHAME ON THEM.
At age 18 they become adults and parents are not legally held responsible for them. College should be something agreed on during the divorce procedure.
My parents werent divorced and they didnt put out a dime for my college.
It gets far more complicated than than. My best friend has a son that is 22, and was diagnosed with a terminal illness at the age of 8. He has been in a wheelchair now for about 3 years, and will most likely not live past 30. His dad paid his court-ordered support until the son turned 18. He has not paid a dime since for things like for wheelchairs, ramp costs, bathroom remodeling, I can't even begin to list the costs that have been incurred to support this boy. His mom works two jobs to try and make ends meet. Yes there is some gov't assistance, but she's the type that does not like to receive handouts, and believes that family should care for their own. In this case, I think supporting your child goes way beyond the "he's an adult at 18".
The dad here clearly is a dud, in my eyes.
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I wish that each case could be set according to each circumstance, rather than use a set formula, but I suppose to do that would mean people would spend their lives in court trying to get their own circumstances reviewed and their support increased/reduced. And I know far too many people that do that already.
