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repeal of 1974 federal anti discrimination credit act.
in 1971 men married as freemen--- in 1977 (after no fault & credit act) they woke up to find they were not, they were property. the civil rights movement freed some people and enslaved others.
unlike france, america no longer loves freedom
their primary hatred of slavery is when they are not an owner.
Last edited by Huckleberry3911948; 01-26-2009 at 08:56 AM..
I don't think there's anything I could have done to save my first marriage. Looking back, it was doomed from the beginning. Even though it lasted for 27 years, it had died a quiet death long before the divorce.
Like a couple of the others have noted, divorce was unheard of in my family's history. Aside from my oldest niece, nobody in my family had divorced in at least 150 years (as far back as our family history has been recorded), and no one in my ex's family had divorced either since emigrating to America in the the early 1800s. That said, I'm sure they didn't all have successful marriages, but divorce just wasn't seen as an option.
My ex could have saved our marriage if she hadn't been driven to revirginate herself. While she said she loved me "as much as I could any man," there was no sex for the last 12 years and very little for the 12 years before that. Finances were never a problem, we respected each other, and we got along okay as friends, but there was no intimacy what-so-ever. Had she been willing to make some effort I'd have stayed, but she didn't, so I didn't.
Throwing the TV away would be a great start...and, if a drinker, do it moderately!! These things tank relationships most easily. People without these culprits running their lives will handle the $$$ issues and challenges better, IMO.
Not mine, yours. I am doing research for a book on building successful marriages. I have been married to the same angel for 39 years. We know how to make a marriage last. I also realize the number 1 reason for divorce is financial problems. Many times we have little control over things that hurt us financially. What I would like to hear are some people being honest about what they could have done to turn things around. "If I had realized having mom sleep in our room would ruin our sex life things would have been different." Things like that. If you don't want to reveal that kind of personal information on a public forum you can DM me or email me at stacy0920@att.net. All replies will be confidential. Thanks for your help.
I will write to you tomorrow . Even though I am writing a book too.Its a novel . I have so many news, stories for you. My experience is completely different causu Asians do not divorce much. Wait for me.
I like those movies when the characters start turning on each other in a screaming match because something is going wrong. Like in a desperate situation like being stranded on a boat in rough waters. Then one has to slap the other one to get them to come back to reality to tell them their getting all crazy is not going to help matters.
Keep your head on and remember your spouse is your helper. Not the enemy. That is the difference.
I think both man and woman need to realize marriage is about sacrifice, compromise, honesty, communication, committment to each other, etc.. I, as the woman, know all of this, and put in 110% to try to keep it together. My husband, even though I love him with all my heart, does not put in as much effort in these areas. He thinks marriage is like an airplane that can fly on autopilot. He kicks back, and relaxes, while I row the boat by myself. This is NOT the way to make a marriage last!
I think it has to do with being selfish. One person wants one thing and the other person wants the other. Lots of people get married for all the wrong reasons like, "it was the right thing to do" or "I wanted to have kids etc" or "I loved him." They don't realize that marriage is more about sacrifices rather than personal gain. One person wants to spend the money this way while the other has their own agenda. The don't compromise and financial problems rip the marriage a part.
There is nothing wrong with being selfish but if you do plan to stay selfish, like myself, then by all means do not get married because when you are single it is all about you all the time.
At least you acknowledge this, and are very honest about it. Shocking!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rcm58
I always think its funny when people want to find a formula that will work for everyone. Speaking for myself I would say it has more to do with the fact that no one in our family has ever been divorced, my parents, their parents...etc...etc. People that come from broken homes tend to repeat the process.
Mmm, I'm the daughter of a twice-divorced mother, and I will do everything in my power NOT to follow that path. The man she really was in love with, and wanted to marry... my grandmother screwed that up for her.
I do want my "forever" and I want it with the right person. When I'm in a relationship, I don't like being mad at my other-half, I WANT communication. Nothing gets under my skin more than someone who is passive-aggressive. Bottling up things doesn't make it work, and neither does saying, "I'M DONE!" without trying to resolve and putting forth honest effort.
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