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Isn't it easy to label people who you judge like that? Maybe you should think "this person has a personal problem" or they might have some mental issues to deal with than labelling them cowards and "two-faced". Sometimes being vindictive and blaming others is the only thing they have learned or are able to understand given their current mental condition. I am not condoning this behaviour but can't bear judgement.
Helping people is far far better than labelling them. PA disorder is actually a recognised mental condition, but affecting the personality. People with perhaps genetic physical problems seem to get sympathy from others, but when it is a problem that affects the personality and can't be "seen" it always invokes misunderstanding, fear or plain judgement, labelling and condemnation from those who usually just want what they can get out of as many people as possible.
Who am I to say all this? Well as a "fairly troubled" teenager I myself was "diagnosed" or "labelled" by so called "psychologists" not with PA but AS (Asperger) but as I matured and developed mechanisms to cope with life and meeting my goals I realised actually just how damaging the labelling and judgement actually was. It shows we only have very primitive ways of trying to understand the complexities of human behaviour and sometimes our petty judgements fall wide of the mark.
So before you judge others look from their perspective. For whatever reason they are in a much worse mental state than you and you should help them otherwise you are the cowardly one.
Oh please... so what. If someone wants to deal with another person's passive-aggressive crap then so be it, enjoy yourself. Frankly, I have no space in my life for energy suckers whether they can help it or not. Passive-aggressive people extinguish happiness out of the air from their very presence. They make crummy husbands, wives, friends, and family members and you want me to take empathy towards people who make others miserable? Uh, no thanks buddy. I have better things to do. There's plenty of room in life for judgement btw as I've had more than enough experiences to know these type of people need to be avoided.
Yes all the time. It's freaky. Why are people so hostile?
Believe me, artsy, I would like an answer to this as well. Since I tend to be confrontational when I need to be or, at the very least, complain and spell things out, I don't understand it.
She wasn't liked by anyone? That means you are correct?
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223
Hell, I had a business partner like that. It was hell on earth. I finally showed her the door. All my clients after a couple of months asked, "By the way, where is Karen?" I said, "Oh, she doesn't work for the firm anymore." "Oh. Okay. Well, anyway, back to the matter at hand...." In short, she wasn't liked by anybody at all.
It's funny, I was reading an online book about passive aggression just last night. The behaviors are expressed in so many ways. Some of the behaviors are outright in your face aggression and hostility. The book focused on hostility as the main emotion. I'm not sure why there is so much hostility though.
When you see it and hear it you will probably know it because it feels bad.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CountryLuvinWoman1
Can you define passive aggressive to me? Cause to me that makes no sense..now I feel like a total idiot but ....
Oh please... so what. If someone wants to deal with another person's passive-aggressive crap then so be it, enjoy yourself. Frankly, I have no space in my life for energy suckers whether they can help it or not. Passive-aggressive people extinguish happiness out of the air from their very presence. They make crummy husbands, wives, friends, and family members and you want me to take empathy towards people who make others miserable? Uh, no thanks buddy. I have better things to do. There's plenty of room in life for judgement btw as I've had more than enough experiences to know these type of people need to be avoided.
Who are you to even judge that someone is "passive aggressive then"? You might only see one dimension of someone's personality and then based on 99% ignorance choose to portray them as an all negative "energy sucking" individual. Life at least could be about trying to understand people you encounter in your life and if you can only take the "smooth" and not deal with the "rough" of understanding people then you won't learn much and your attitude shows enough of this dear.
I know better that nobody can wholly fit one definition that you can easily place them in and neither is anyone all negative. Most of these "passive aggressive" people (as judged by you) might well be on an uphill struggle to improve their ways and when they make progress the shear courage and strength of will is far beyond what you know! I believe we will all get there because everyone underneath is a compassionate being who wants love and understanding like we all ultimately do.
That said feel free to avoid such people given a good reason but stick with what you are comfortable with in life all the time gives you the double standard.
The definition of Passive/Agressive is my MIL! She is also an enabler which makes the situation even worse.
I find that when a situation becomes uncomfortable, I approach her directly, but not in front of others if possible, and confront her with it. Over the past 20 years she (and other family members too) has learned a couple things;
-I will call her on it
-Don't involve me unless things are above board
-Practice what you preach
-We get along much better with 300+ miles between us!
The definition of Passive/Agressive is my MIL! She is also an enabler which makes the situation even worse.
I find that when a situation becomes uncomfortable, I approach her directly, but not in front of others if possible, and confront her with it. Over the past 20 years she (and other family members too) has learned a couple things;
-I will call her on it
-Don't involve me unless things are above board
-Practice what you preach
-We get along much better with 300+ miles between us!
i married and divorced her pass/agg son----able to handle the passive side ok---but fled when the aggressive part became dangerous----passive aggressive people get others to do their dirty work for them----too much drama
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