Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
ok question....if you met someone and they lets say distorted the truth, in order to make it seem like you had a shared interest, so you would go out with them/like them...and then sometime down the line you figured out the other person was not telling the truth about this interest....is this something to get upset about ?????
I met this dude and he had a short haircut and I asked him about those scars on his head.. he told me this dramatic story about falling off of this boat (He was in the Navy) .... So many months later, when I met his mother he was shushing me when I brought up the scars on his head...
Then, in private, he told me the truth... that he made it up to seem dangerous... it was a line he used often... and that he really got those scars due to a metal toy dump truck as a child.
We have been married 8 years this May.
It is now a joke we share...
Dating is hard people... do not even act like you have never gotten together with some friends just looking for a peice... sometimes it turns out to be more than just a "Bangin" night... sometimes .. its just a good/bad lay.
no, it was more than that he let me believe that he attended lots of art events (now and in the past) and knew alot about art and so on (even though i was suspect on alot of what he was saying)...it wasnt that he just let me talk about art and was interested to learn more...he made it sound like it was a long standing interest of his and at one point he actually said this !!!!!
I know the difference between someone being interested in learning more from the questions they ask...but he was (clearly now) faking knowledge and experience of art ...or trying too!
no....not really.....but lying, in my book, is something that cant be ignored......
The bottom line is how it feels to you. So, regardless of if I think you are overreacting or not, you are in the situation and you have to do what you feel is best for you. Best of luck!
ok question....if you met someone and they lets say distorted the truth, in order to make it seem like you had a shared interest, so you would go out with them/like them...and then sometime down the line you figured out the other person was not telling the truth about this interest....is this something to get upset about ?????
YES! ABSOLUTELY! DEFINITELY! INDUBITABLY!
If the person lies about one thing, he/she could be lying about who knows what else. I learned that lesson the hard way. Some people are especially clever and can keep up lies for a long time... imagine what'd happen if you married the person and THEN discovered that all was not as it had been made out to seem.
ok - i am really into art in a big way, i enjoy art history, creating art, talking about art and so do most of my friends-it a big thing in my life. I met this guy at a gallery- we just talked about generally stuff not art- assumed he was interested in art as he was at the gallery (turns out he just went along with friends for something to do). Anyway he asked for my number. We talk on the phone and go out a bit- i tell him about my interest in art (obviously). So here is the thing he lets me talk about art ALOT and lets me believe he enjoys art on the same level....i have to admit i was a little suspect of him because some of the things he said about art did quiet 'fit'....at one point i asked if art was really his thing and he said it was..... Now a little down the track it is clear that all this was B.S! ...i have spoken to him about it he said it wasnt a lie because he does like art, sort of...just not in the same way I do...so it wasn' really a lie! Am I over-reacting ? I feel lied to ?
Oh, I would be inclined to be charitable here, and not the Grand Inquisitor of the dating world. I think a lot of answers on this forum have been written by Calvinists.
Hey, he went to an art show, didn't he? That means, at the very least, there's a nascent interest, since most guys would say, "Art? No way! What's on ESPN?"
Then he met you there, and really liked you. Probably in a ham-handed effort to impress you, or to keep the conversation going, he exaggerated matters. I mean, who HASN'T occasionally said really stupid things when an amazing person engages them in conversation. One gets tongue-tied, the brain freezes, and you blurt out something, anything, to keep the conversation going. It sounds as if that's what happened to this guy.
So, if you like the guy, I would be a forgiving soul. However, I would make sure that he isn't lying about other things. If you like him enough to go out with him, then just let him know early on, that he doesn't have to work hard to impress you, and that you always expect the truth from him. The simple truth about his life and his interests will suffice. He'll probably be relieved.
If, on the other hand, you find that he lies about stuff on an ongoing basis, then walk away.
ok - i am really into art in a big way, i enjoy art history, creating art, talking about art and so do most of my friends-it a big thing in my life. I met this guy at a gallery- we just talked about generally stuff not art- assumed he was interested in art as he was at the gallery (turns out he just went along with friends for something to do). Anyway he asked for my number. We talk on the phone and go out a bit- i tell him about my interest in art (obviously). So here is the thing he lets me talk about art ALOT and lets me believe he enjoys art on the same level....i have to admit i was a little suspect of him because some of the things he said about art did quiet 'fit'....at one point i asked if art was really his thing and he said it was..... Now a little down the track it is clear that all this was B.S! ...i have spoken to him about it he said it wasnt a lie because he does like art, sort of...just not in the same way I do...so it wasn' really a lie! Am I over-reacting ? I feel lied to ?
come er and sit down...
While art may be your whole life, it holds different levels of interest with everyone else.
This fella probably saw something in you he enjoyed...and maybe, just maybe he is interested in art now, b/c of you. What would be wrong in teaching him? I love art and am interested, but I don't know a whole lot. And lets face it, art cannot be all you eat drink, live and sleep otherwise, you'll get boaring, not to mention stagnating your own personal growth. I'ts wonderful to have hobbies, interests, but in the same sense, all of us, need to branch out a bit and not put all our eggs in one basket. And yes, I believe you are over reacting.
First of all, how did you know he went there with his friends for something to do? Did he tell you that, if he did, then he's being honest with you. And if he is letting you talk about art, then obviously he is somewhat interested. But, you cannot base a relationship on your demands and your expectations. No two people are ever on the same plain at the same time, ever.
Just the point that he's showing an interest is a very good sign...and, quit frankly, he may not even feel that he wants a relationship with you, perhaps he simply likes you as a friend only?????
In my mind, I think your assuming a lot. Sorry...and I'm wondering at this point if YOU are able to allow others there thoughts, beliefs and feelings. Doesn't mean they betrayed you...again, I love art, but don't know much about it...never met anyone who did...so, do you really think, b/c I love art, or bred dogs or rode horses, if someone I meant doesn't feel the same way, I'm going to reject them as a possible life time mate. You need time to find out, if maybe they are willing to share this with you, if they desire to learn more, and in the same, maybe you could learn a few things from them, not about art, but about so many other interesting and important aspects of life.
I would be cautiously optimistic about a situation like this. Maybe he was just exaggerating something or feigning interest in something just to have something in common with you---as a way to get to know you. That can be good......but at the same time, with this in mind, I would slowly go forward and see if he exaggerated or "white lies" about other things. Just take it SLOW.
I would be cautiously optimistic about a situation like this. Maybe he was just exaggerating something or feigning interest in something just to have something in common with you---as a way to get to know you. That can be good......but at the same time, with this in mind, I would slowly go forward and see if he exaggerated or "white lies" about other things. Just take it SLOW.
I agree, while it may be as you say, he could also be a darn nice guy, so she should invest some time and find out, maybe they'd be good together as life long friends, who knows..but why calk it off due to the fact that he doesn't know much about art, maybe he wants to? Find out..
my feelings are that if they are lying about little things, no matter when... you can bet that they will lie about the big things!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
small lies
