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That makes a lot of sense. I guess I am influenced by society. I've read from a lot of women (some on this message board) that being a virgin is weird. I'm ashamed of this. I feel like I screwed up somewhere and it will cost me a family and be forced to live alone... or with my parents.
But you do see it a lot don't you? Women who will stay with deadbeats who beat them when 'nice guys' are everywhere but they are becoming more bitter by the day.
Well it's probably not "society" so much as you're feeling bad because you're ashamed of this thing about yourself and because you feel bad feelings about it you are sensitive to comments from others that seem to reinforce it, yes? Because you feel embarassed and concerned you're more likely to focus on the negative comment when it comes under your radar. The thing is most people are so busy worrying about themselves and focused on themselves that their throw away comments on a message board isn't really a good indication of what actually is. I doubt very much it's personal or said with you specifically in mind.
If you think about it, the kind of girl that's right for you probably isn't participating in threads like these on message boards OR taking part in internet surveys where those kinds of questions are posed anyway.
So you need to focus on you. You need to remember that you're as good as anybody else exactly as you are right now no matter what you hear to the contrary, no matter how many people seem to be saying otherwise.
I say all this because I can identify with what you're saying. Everybody worries at some time in their life that they'll end up alone, that the things they wish for themselves will not happen. Perhaps they're not worried for the same reasons as you but there are things that stop people from believing in themselves and moving forward with their lives.
I know very few people that NEVER have self doubt but the most successful ones are those that have the self doubt and overcome it to get where they want to be.
My feeling and fear is that all of the virgins accomplishments will be for not because he is a virgin in his late 20's/ early 30's. I just don't think that is fair, and I am trying to understand the reasoning behind it.
Don't have fear. What is there to fear?
I think often what is left unsaid is often the best. You shouldn't feel obligated to put that out there and when the time comes the time comes.
Women in general are really picky and snippy about different things and I have yet to meet or know of any woman that is ever truly, honestly satisfied with their partner. Always something to ***** or gripe about and if it doesn't exist they create it. So therefore wouldn't worry about what they think. You know if you auger in for your first time and it isn't so great then so what? First time for everything. So you learn and move on or move forward.
And if you do make mention you are a virgin and the girl flips well silly her. At least you are less likely to be diseased, nor have any children lurking out there.
losers are exciting and sexy. nice guys need not apply. however with economy meltdown this could change, but human nature will not change just appearance.
Ok, well I am going to be honest with you....obviously you are probably a nice guy all around, maybe a lil shy or just haven't had alot of times to be with a woman dating, there is nothing wrong with this at all. I am religious and had it not been for the man I have now been with for the last few years I would still be a virgin myself and I am almost 25. There is nothing wrong with it, whether you are religious or not, I know another guy who is like 30 and he is and that doesn't make him a bad man, or someone I would ever consider looking over just because of that. I promise you there are women out there who look up to that, I do, and I respect that and there are others like myself. Don't worry about all those other guys who are basically loosers. Focus on finding a women who deserves you, who you are compatible with and who makes you happy and vise versa. When you find that person, they will love you for exactly who you are, all of the good and the bad. They will accept you, and that will be all that matters. Also I agree with wanneroo..
"I think often what is left unsaid is often the best. You shouldn't feel obligated to put that out there and when the time comes the time comes." but like she said if u want to, fine and if she freaks out I dont think you want to be with her anyways.
Hi there. I am trying to continue a thread that hasn't gotten any response. I hope this doesn't mean I am a thread killer, but I really want to know which women would prefer, a mid 20's virgin who has his own job, pays his bills, but doesn't have relationship experience. Compared to a mid 20's slacker/ deadbeat, this guy has no full time job/ maybe a part time job, a baby's mama, trouble with the law, etc. But knows what to do in the sack. Which one are leaning towards..
*The virgin isn't a virgin because of religion either.
I'd pick the virgin. Virgins can learn. Deadbeats usually don't.
to the days where people didn't even discuss past partners or experience? it seems admitting to virginity is supposed to be an admission of caring, trust and respect toward the partner, but for the women who are judgmental, it seems such admissions are maybe "too much caring, trust and respect" for them. and then on the opposite end is that a man who's been around is suspect because he's a bad disease risk
no matter how you slice it this topic is a catch 22 for many people, including myself. no matter what one says it's gonna make you embarrased
Great question you are most likely a geek like me and want to date and get laid but have feared dating so ended up being a upper 20year old myself I am 28 who is still a virgin. I think I can answer some of the earlier negative comments in that some of us male geeks were so focused in our geekness that we never dated. We have achive success in life by having our own home not with Mommy and Daddy and fullfuling carreers and wonder if women are worth it since inexperience makes some believe that all women want is the Bad Boy which often turns out to be a deadbeat like the question refers to.
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what happened
