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Old 02-18-2009, 09:01 AM
 
Location: In my skin
9,230 posts, read 16,548,469 times
Reputation: 9175

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I'm a pretty private person overall, there are certain things I just don't discuss much. Sex is not off limits but some particulars are just not open for discussion. I can understand talking about a one night stand, or someone you're really not going anywhere with. But the SO is pretty sacred to me.

I didn't find out until much later that my ex would go to work and thump his chest about our sex life (many of his friends worked with him). I'm far from being a prude, but I wasn't happy with it and told him as much. He said it was just guy talk and his way of "marking his territory" (he insisted a couple of his friends were hitting on me - they weren't). I told him if he was concerned to the point of marking his territory, then he made a huge mistake. They are ultimately men, and all he has done is arouse their curiosity. And as a personal matter, I'm not his fire hydrant.

When we broke up, sure enough, one of them asked me out on a date. And he told me that as a man, my ex's biggest mistake was inviting them into our bedroom.

I personally don't discuss much in that area with women for the same reason. I'm not possessive, but I'm not going to contribute to temptation.

What about youze guys?
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Old 02-18-2009, 09:10 AM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
17,769 posts, read 40,176,155 times
Reputation: 18106
My boyfriend and I are very private about our sex life. We don't like talking about the details to our real life friends or on the internet. It just doesn't feel right. I will say that even though we are very conservative in our tastes, we are extremely satisfied with want goes on in our bedroom. And it's not sex to us, but making love to someone that we care deeply about.
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Old 02-18-2009, 09:11 AM
 
28,895 posts, read 54,165,927 times
Reputation: 46685
Man, there's just no way I could talk about that stuff. Even thought I have a pretty bawdy sense of humor. I mean if I was lucky enough to get my bobo honked the night before, I really don't want my friends visualizing my wife doing that stuff.
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Old 02-18-2009, 09:16 AM
 
Location: SoCal - Sherman Oaks & Woodland Hills
12,974 posts, read 33,962,008 times
Reputation: 10491
I think my ex wife told her friends about our sex life because after we got divorced, a few of her so called friends were really trying to "hook up" with me. I know they werent interested in any real relationship, they just wanted sex. One girl invited me to join her on a trip to visit her family in Hong Kong which I of course politely declined.

As far as my personal sex life goes, any discussion is off limits to any and everyone who asks. Its just not something that one should go around discussing with other people.
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Old 02-18-2009, 09:16 AM
 
Location: Houston, TX
17,029 posts, read 30,929,122 times
Reputation: 16265
No. Guys that do that are usually terribly insecure about something. I think its low class to be bragging about bedroom stuff with a current love interest. OTOH one nighters and the like are fair game.
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Old 02-18-2009, 09:17 AM
 
Location: South Bay Native
16,225 posts, read 27,435,268 times
Reputation: 31495
I think the only people who feel compelled to share their sex life with non-participants are insecure about their own sexual prowess and want to make sure everyone knows what a stud/good lay they are. In my experience, people who need to advertise usually are the ones who don't even know what they're doing.

Some offices I have worked in the girls would get together and discuss all the things they wouldn't do for a guy, how nasty that was, yadda yadda. I had no choice to but to keep my lip zipped, and nod meekly. I didn't feel the need to convert them.
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Old 02-18-2009, 09:21 AM
 
Location: Fiji
647 posts, read 2,083,701 times
Reputation: 426
I don't really like to discuss it with anyone. My wife and I pretty much do anything and everything and are able to achieve a conscious-altering experience, but we are very private and very discreet about this and we believe that it's something beautiful that we share together. Like others have mentioned, I would not want to talk openly about the details and then have our friends be able to basically visualize what'all we do.

It's even a bit awkward, quite honestly, to respond in forums like these and I tend to shy away from the blatantly sexual threads.
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Old 02-18-2009, 09:21 AM
 
Location: Orlando
8,176 posts, read 18,539,736 times
Reputation: 49864
I agree with the majority.

I've always said that what goes on in the bedroom is between the couple.

We are friends with a younger couple that at 1st felt they needed to tell us every time and every way they had sex. Now I guess since nobody was inpressed, they shut up about it.

That's just so tacky and low class.
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Old 02-18-2009, 09:29 AM
 
Location: Southern California Mountains
563 posts, read 1,449,605 times
Reputation: 456
My SO is very quiet about that stuff. He's got nothing to prove to the "less dominent males". I'm pleased about that...I chose a real man, not an insecure guy that has to brag and embellish tales from the bedroom to pretend he is one.
He marks his territory with his presence.
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Old 02-18-2009, 09:45 AM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
17,769 posts, read 40,176,155 times
Reputation: 18106
I feel that those that brag about their sex life are also not seriously in love with their sex partners. If they really cared about them, and were really in love with them, there would be no sharing of those details with their friends or strangers. They are objectifying their partners, making them trophies to boost their own self esteem, and not loving or caring for them or their best interests.
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