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I have always thought it pretty sad that so few African-Americans actually get to enjoy the glory years of their 20s because they're saddled with all those out-of-wedlock children. It stems from a lack of self-respect I guess, but I just know that personally, I would never pro-create with a man who was not committed to me and who could not bankroll a family. My husband & I did marry young (in our early twenties), but we waited 8 years to start a family, and being a first-time Mom at 31 and while married is so much sweeter than trying to struggle as a young single-parent and date at the same time.
It's perfectly reasonable for you all who don't want a "ready-made" family, and good luck with all that but you may have to date out of the race in the end (I know I did, my hubby is white).
I just need to vent a little frustration. I am out in the dating game giving 100% just like most single guys in their mid-20's, but I have hit a rut lately where every attractive, single woman I meet has at LEAST one kid and was never married to the father.
Don't get me wrong. I love kids and want to have a family of my own someday. If I were in my 40's and still single, I would accept the fact that there probably aren't going to be too many childless women in my dating pool. But at 26, I'm just not ready for a ready-made family.
So here is my question. Doesn't ANYONE wait to get MARRIED before they have babies anymore? Mitt Romney caught some flack for saying basically the same thing at CPAC last year, but the man is right. Take it from a 26-year-old male who is tired of his dating pool being saturated with kids. Time for the lifeguard to blow the whistle for adults-only swim.
End rant.
yeah, the phenomenon is especially pronounced in the South. I once met a 24 years old divorced woman with THREE kids already. I mean, for the sake of God, assuming she divorced her bastard husband (her words) at 23, and she married him immediately after her 18th birthday, which left her less than 5 years to give birth to 3 children, I mean, OMG, what kind of life she and her ex-husband were living during their <5 years of marriage? I've been scratching my head trying to understand the kind of upbringing that leads to her and him living their lives (extremely irresponsible to themselves and to the kids they had, if you ask me, and their parents should be blamed as well) as they did.
Many young women nowadays are just naive, just as the men are irresponsible. Gentlemen who actually have their act together nowadays are a rarity. I'm almost 30 and when I tell people I've never been married and don't have any children, they're often surprised. I also think it's a cultural thing as well - turning 18 in many parts no longer means just being old enough to vote and buy cigarettes; it's also seen by many as a license to begin "playing family" and procreation - a rite of passage if you will.
I just need to vent a little frustration. I am out in the dating game giving 100% just like most single guys in their mid-20's, but I have hit a rut lately where every attractive, single woman I meet has at LEAST one kid and was never married to the father.
Don't get me wrong. I love kids and want to have a family of my own someday. If I were in my 40's and still single, I would accept the fact that there probably aren't going to be too many childless women in my dating pool. But at 26, I'm just not ready for a ready-made family.
So here is my question. Doesn't ANYONE wait to get MARRIED before they have babies anymore? Mitt Romney caught some flack for saying basically the same thing at CPAC last year, but the man is right. Take it from a 26-year-old male who is tired of his dating pool being saturated with kids. Time for the lifeguard to blow the whistle for adults-only swim.
End rant.
Well lets see. You thought she was hot. Someone else thought she was hot. So he knocked her up.
You could try running a little less shallow and replace your hunt for "attractive" with "intelligent", "sophisticated" and "has her legs crossed"....and I bet you have a lot more options.
Well lets see. You thought she was hot. Someone else thought she was hot. So he knocked her up.
You could try running a little less shallow and replace your hunt for "attractive" with "intelligent", "sophisticated" and "has her legs crossed"....and I bet you have a lot more options.
The difference is, when I think a girl is "hot," I don't "knock her up." I make sure my horse is tied up before it goes into the stable. I'm ranting about the fact that not many my age seem to be showing that kind of responsible judgment.
The difference is, when I think a girl is "hot," I don't "knock her up." I make sure my horse is tied up before it goes into the stable. I'm ranting about the fact that not many my age seem to be showing that kind of responsible judgment.
You'll never get anywhere if you refer to your girls as 'horses'
Unfortunately it seems to be more accepted these days. I know more than a couple college educated professionals who became pregnant, then things didnt work out with the baby-daddy. They decided they 'didnt need a man' as the government could help them where they fell short. More power to them, but it doesnt look easy. As a bachelor, I raise an eye to someone (as a person to date) with a child out of wedlock...especially in their early 20s.
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