It should be Hard to get married/easy to get divorced! (love, husband)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Ouch! You blew my little idea right out of the water.
Let me ask, how would you propose making divorce easier? Lets hear some of your ideas.
I agree with most of your statements. I do think you fail to realize that most people dont have the understanding of the complexity of marriage or how to deal with situations that arise. Many also dont have counsel of family or friends.
just a side. I did hear a girl, friend of my sons, that quit college to move out of state and marry a mormon, she said, ahh if it dosent work, ill just get divorced.
As far as parenting class. I did think as you until my sons divorce. They actually changed counties to file to avoid the classes. They way the XDIL uses the kids and visitation is appauling. Clases may not have helped, but sure wouldnt hurt. As an attorney, you should know how biased the courts can be and they are definately not in the business of what is best for the children.
IMO, people are asked to make decisions that will affect the rest of thier lives during thier early adulthood. most people dont even know who they are by the time they graduate from college. I mean really. Are we the same at 21 as we are at 31? By the time we know who we are and our parteners know who they are, we have been married for 10 years and have 2 or three kids and a dog and a house.....then what? We wake up and see that this isnt as fufilling as we thought it would be. or this partner isnt who I thought she/he was.
IMO, it should be difficult to get married when you are young. All the items that come up in a divorce should be discussed prior to reciving a marriage license. Young people should be asked the hard questions on parenting, readiness for monogomy...... Prove you are ready for marriage.
If it is difficult to get married, then people, IMO, would be less likley to give up on a marriage, and find a way to make it work.
What do you think?
I disagree on divorce being easy. It should be hard. Tearing apart a family should not be an easy thing to do.
Let me ask, how would you propose making divorce easier? Lets hear some of your ideas.
Doing away with fault requirements would be a good start. Not having to allege and prove fault would also relieve a lot of the acrimony between spouses, that can negatively affect their parenting and willingness to cooperate in property distribution.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares
I do think you fail to realize that most people dont have the understanding of the complexity of marriage or how to deal with situations that arise. Many also dont have counsel of family or friends.
I agree -- but I don't think that the government can remedy that by teaching a class or putting people through a bureaucratic wringer. Actually, I don't think the government can remedy that at all, and shouldn't be in the business of doing anything like that. I'm sorry -- but when it comes to personal lives, people should have the liberty to make their own mistakes, even big ones.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares
just a side. I did hear a girl, friend of my sons, that quit college to move out of state and marry a mormon, she said, ahh if it dosent work, ill just get divorced.
Maybe she was being facetious?
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares
As far as parenting class. I did think as you until my sons divorce. They actually changed counties to file to avoid the classes. They way the XDIL uses the kids and visitation is appauling. Clases may not have helped, but sure wouldnt hurt. As an attorney, you should know how biased the courts can be and they are definately not in the business of what is best for the children.
What would be taught in such a class, I can't imagine. Don't disparage your former spouse in front of your child? Don't mess with the visitation schedule? People who do so do it deliberately, not because they somehow didn't realize they shouldn't. And classes do hurt. They give truly deviant individuals tools to cheat the system and create a presumption that will be another hurdle to hold them accountable for misconduct.
I thought the divorce rate has increased greatly from 1966? Of course there is no magic answer to happy marriage. There has always been divorce and there always will be. I am divorcing now. All it takes is irreconcilable differences, which could me, he snores too much.
Im not advocating making it so difficult as to have to go to such extremes or to endure abuse. I hear young people say prior to marriage, well if it dosent work out, Ill just get a divorce. In my little world, it wouldnt be that simple, then perhaps people wouldnt be so flippant about it. Im thinking a standard contract that can be modifyed stating if one commits adultry, becomes additcted, wont hold a job, abandonment, whatever is agreable to both, those are grounds for divorce and the violator will suffer financially in the divorce. If one wants a divorce because the other snores too loud the divorce is granted, but with fines or penalities, outlined in the contract. This might make people put more thought into getting marriage and making their marriage work.
I dont really care, I will never marry again.
I think they should do away with no fault. You should have to show cause. There are situations that warrant divorce and others that do not. If marriages weren't so easy to get out of, maybe people would think twice about getting into them.
IMO, people are asked to make decisions that will affect the rest of their lives during their early adulthood........
If it is difficult to get married, then people, IMO, would be less likely to give up on a marriage, and find a way to make it work.
What do you think?
If a way could be found to prevent every female from getting pregnant prior to say age 23, a lot of the problem would be solved. Divorce isn't nearly as bad if there are no children and there would be many more opportunities for successful marriages if there were far fewer women having and keeping children without a husband.
It might be easier to slip something into the water system. Too many Palin types out there to ever restrict marriage, no matter how reasonable this is.
Doing away with fault requirements would be a good start. Not having to allege and prove fault would also relieve a lot of the acrimony between spouses, that can negatively affect their parenting and willingness to cooperate in property distribution.
There are no fault requirement in my state.
Quote:
I agree -- but I don't think that the government can remedy that by teaching a class or putting people through a bureaucratic wringer. Actually, I don't think the government can remedy that at all, and shouldn't be in the business of doing anything like that. I'm sorry -- but when it comes to personal lives, people should have the liberty to make their own mistakes, even big ones.
What would be taught in such a class, I can't imagine. Don't disparage your former spouse in front of your child? Don't mess with the visitation schedule? People who do so do it deliberately, not because they somehow didn't realize they shouldn't. And classes do hurt. They give truly deviant individuals tools to cheat the system and create a presumption that will be another hurdle to hold them accountable for misconduct
I can see your point, but there are stupid people out there. What seems obvious to most has to be spelled out slowly to some along with letting them know that the courts frown on such and such behavior. Sometimes that does prevent undesirable behavior, like scolding a child. The sad truth is that the gov. is in the business of parenting their citizens. If the gov. is going to involve its self in things like CS enforcement, they should also enforce custody agreements and parenting plans.
Quote:
Maybe she was being facetious?
She was serious, and I thought was fairly intelligent girl. As far as I know she is still married. Although they may have her brainwashed and captive in the mormon community way back in the hills.
If a way could be found to prevent every female from getting pregnant prior to say age 23, a lot of the problem would be solved. Divorce isn't nearly as bad if there are no children and there would be many more opportunities for successful marriages if there were far fewer women having and keeping children without a husband.
Did you read what you wrote? What relevance is women having kids out of wedlock to divorce rate? There is a way to avoid pregnancy, its call birth control and/or abstinence.
IMO, people are asked to make decisions that will affect the rest of thier lives during thier early adulthood. most people dont even know who they are by the time they graduate from college. I mean really. Are we the same at 21 as we are at 31? By the time we know who we are and our parteners know who they are, we have been married for 10 years and have 2 or three kids and a dog and a house.....then what? We wake up and see that this isnt as fufilling as we thought it would be. or this partner isnt who I thought she/he was.
IMO, it should be difficult to get married when you are young. All the items that come up in a divorce should be discussed prior to reciving a marriage license. Young people should be asked the hard questions on parenting, readiness for monogomy...... Prove you are ready for marriage.
If it is difficult to get married, then people, IMO, would be less likley to give up on a marriage, and find a way to make it work.
What do you think?
One thing that happens when we are young and grow old, WE CHANGE. The things we want and desire at age 25, are not what we desire at age 40. I believe this leads to some marriages ending. With my case {I am soon to be divorced} there was one of the parties converting to a different religion--ME, and I was the same things he was, and now I am not. He never grew older either, which when I was 25, I didnt mind that he was obessed with rock music, but at 45, I find his teenage fantasties even more grating. Everyone needs hobbies, I do not begrudge him that, but he never matured.
I do not think making divorce harder will work. That would keep abused women more in bondage and other bad things that used to happen before no fault laws. Remember the days of detectives being hired to prove a spouse was cheating?
I do not think making divorce harder will work. That would keep abused women more in bondage and other bad things that used to happen before no fault laws.
These days a woman dose not have to say in an abusive relationship. In the past women didnt have the education and employment opportunities to support themseves.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
