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You compare the rate relationships breakup today compared to 20-30 years ago the change is huge. Obviously there are a number of reasons but a main one for mine is Unrealistic expectations.
People generally have a much lower tolerance for problems/issues today than historically. Take this forum as an example look at how many people wouldn't see someone because they are a smoker? 60% from memory.
I can't talk as I'm one of those 60%. That is just one Isolated issue, there are so many.
I think one of the main reasons relationships don't last is because women don't know how to maintain them anymore. Let's face it, most men don't have a clue in this area. Women used to have their mothers and grandmothers give them advice and guidance, but since the divorce rate went up in the 70s, it's a little difficult to get advice from someone who is also divorced - sometimes more than once!
I'm going to quote Dr. Laura here, who says the key to a successful marriage is two-fold -
1. Choose wisely.
2. Treat kindly.
If you don't do the first part well, then you can do the second part all day long and it won't make any difference whatsoever. (That was my marriage.)
I also read somewhere that while men are slaves to their egos, women just recently developed them. Egos are great in the workplace, because that's how we strive for perfection. At home, though, egos are detrimental, because all they know how to do is compete and competition kills relationships.
People don't fight to stay together like past generations did. Marriage was for life, divorce or separation was not done or frowned upon. So people stayed even if it meant unhappiness.
Divorce being acceptable by society makes people give up easier. Plus people want everything now, they don't want to work towards anything like in the "old days"...
I also think it's due to people marrying later. In the past, marriages were more likely made between age 19 and 25, young adults moved from their parents' home to their home with their spouse with less time on their own or with same gender roommates. By marrying young, the couple grew up together, their first big life experiences were made together, the memories they made were with each other, and they believed in committment early on, not just when they got old.
Now people want to wait until much older before marrying, they want to live on their own and have everything, do everything, travel everywhere, and they want to shack up with a number of different lovers before they decide on marriage. Once someone gets "too set in their ways" it makes it more difficult to change in important ways.
Yeah, they think getting married is going to make them happy.
However, marriage is something that you make happy.
Like a person that brings a dish to pass at a gathering. You bring something to the table that is good and enjoyable. If you are just the one coming up to the table and all you do is complain....well, you'd better check yourself.
I also think it's due to people marrying later. In the past, marriages were more likely made between age 19 and 25, young adults moved from their parents' home to their home with their spouse with less time on their own or with same gender roommates. By marrying young, the couple grew up together, their first big life experiences were made together, the memories they made were with each other, and they believed in committment early on, not just when they got old.
Now people want to wait until much older before marrying, they want to live on their own and have everything, do everything, travel everywhere, and they want to shack up with a number of different lovers before they decide on marriage. Once someone gets "too set in their ways" it makes it more difficult to change in important ways.
There is nothing wrong with waiting.
I think it is a good thing. Let people grow up. Get mature. Find out who THEY are and then they can contribute to a happy relationship.
My Dad hunted, fished and all kinds of other things. When he got married he was over and done with those things. He now wanted to move on to a different chapter in his life. Spending time with his wife. They are still married over 40 years.
I also think it's due to people marrying later. In the past, marriages were more likely made between age 19 and 25, young adults moved from their parents' home to their home with their spouse with less time on their own or with same gender roommates. By marrying young, the couple grew up together, their first big life experiences were made together, the memories they made were with each other, and they believed in committment early on, not just when they got old.
Now people want to wait until much older before marrying, they want to live on their own and have everything, do everything, travel everywhere, and they want to shack up with a number of different lovers before they decide on marriage. Once someone gets "too set in their ways" it makes it more difficult to change in important ways.
Statistically, people who marry younger are at greater risk for divorce compared to those who wait. Age, income, and education level are all important factors to consider.
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