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In the thread, "Can a guy be too nice?", there was a general consensus that being "too nice" is a turn-off, and that "women are attracted to confidence and success." There were also many examples of behaviors that would work well, and ones that wouldn't.
My question is, where would Spock fit into this? I think Spock could accurately be described as confident and successful, and not "too nice" (i.e., I can't imagine him tripping over himself trying to be some girl's servant). Does that mean he would be one of those who would find partners easily?
In other words, suppose Spock, or a guy like him (let's say no pointed ears, but a normal sex drive; and assume he's not a famous TV personality or space adventurer), were to show up in, say, New York City, and simply go about his business, and at times be interested in hooking up. Think of Spock's usual personality and mannerisms. Imagine hanging out with him. Would he be a guy who winds up in the "friend zone?" Maybe have some luck finding an LTR, but no FWBs or one-nighters? Or maybe he'd be right up there with the "alphiest" of males, and find any and all of these with little or no effort (e.g., the women hit on him, chase him, etc.)?
Or would he not show up on girls' radar at all, and get totally ignored?
I don't mean to be facetious. I just think it might help shed some light on the recent discussions (at least for me).
Spock? The half Vulcan that keeps his emotions in check? Who wants to get into a romantic relationship with a being that doesn't show emotion? It's nice that he'd be respectful and smart, but without emotion, where's the romance in it all? He'd make a great friend though, but not because he isn't sexy, but more that he can't show affection like a hug or holding hands.
Women do like a challenge, but if there is no hope for making him fall in love and being passionate and emotional, then why even try?
BTW Spock having a normal sex drive is not the same as him being able to fall in love. He'd be more into FWB's which is not attractive to most women imo.
Women would notice him, and there might be a little bit of something that they wouldn't speak of (See Nurse Chapel), but in the end they wouldn't actually approach him. They'd later see Kirk with his shirt off and run over to him.
Spock was pure logic and had no emotions and so was emotionally unavailable
lots of women go after men who are emotionally shut down and emotionally unavailable, but the relationships are singularly unfulfilling, and so a woman with emotional health is not going to fall for Spock
Ok Hans63 I repped you because I think your thread has originality
Now as I was starting to ponder an answer to your question I realised
I must have just a little ...
Too much time on my hands
If I'm willing to spend so much time answering questions like Would Spock score with the ladies
I think I really do need to watch more television
Last edited by HairyandScary; 04-18-2009 at 08:02 PM..
Spock? The half Vulcan that keeps his emotions in check? Who wants to get into a romantic relationship with a being that doesn't show emotion? It's nice that he'd be respectful and smart, but without emotion, where's the romance in it all? He'd make a great friend though, but not because he isn't sexy, but more that he can't show affection like a hug or holding hands. (...)
OK, following your suggestion, let's add some touchy-feeliness to our Spock-like character. Would he be a babe magnet now? Or on his way to becoming a registered sex offender?
Actually, I'm just using Spock as a metaphor for a certain personality type. Some might describe this as a "5" on the Enneagram, but I didn't want to go into that much detail. In case you haven't guessed already, this thread is really about me, as I'm in the neighborhood of that type. But I'm a little reluctant to being "analyzed" by strangers (which often happens on this site), so what I'm doing is analyzing the original quote, "women are attracted to confidence and success," from the point of view of someone of that type. Since people were willing to devote attention to this issue in another thread, I was hoping some might be willing to consider another point of view on it.
If the above modification to our Spock character is sufficient, then we can modify the original statement to, "women are attracted to confidence, success, and affection."
I was hoping to get more responses from men. The responses from women are fine, to see what their impression is of this kind of person. Responses from men might add some insight as to what worked or didn't work in their own experience.
I was wondering if this thread was about you. Well now my questions for you are... what would you like out of the dating scene? Do you want to be an alpha male? Do you want casual FWB's or an actual happy LTR? What is your ideal woman?
If I were you, I wouldn't worry so much about what lots of strangers might think of you, and focus more on how to meet the type of woman you are attracted to. Just be yourself, and don't try to act like someone you are not. From your posts, you don't come across to me as a natural alpha male. But maybe you have some fantasy about lots of beautiful women falling all over you at the clubs and bars. Do you desire to date many different women?
Would you consider yourself handsome? Do you usually have a serious Spock-like expression on your face? I think that women prefer a man that smiles easily and sincerely, which is a mark of confidence, but also of having a pleasant disposition and being able not to take himself too seriously.
I'm not an Alpha male and I'm a 100% cool with that. I never felt like I had to be the "Man".
My ego can handle not being the guy in charge. I've always considered myself to be a solid 2nd in charge type of guy.
Which is odd because over the years with work I've been in charge of people, subcontractors, been responsible for projects that were worth a million dollars.
Maybe I am an Alpha male, just didn't know it.
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Fascinating
