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Why should she be the one strong enough to stop the affair from happening when the married man is the one who has more to lose?
Not to be flip or disrespectful, I can see you're not trying to be argumentative or nasty and I don't want to be either....having said that, after reading the above my initial reaction was, "Why shouldn't she?"
Both she and the married person are doing wrong, and it's within the power of either one of them to stop the wrongdoing at any time. It doesn't matter who has more to lose, wrongdoing is wrongdoing. Both parties to the affair are equally guilty of bad behavior and equally responsible for allowing it to continue precisely because they are bothequallyempowered to end it at any time.
The only way I'd hold the Other Woman less responsible is if she doesn't know about the marriage or is physically being held hostage. Other than those two, there are simply no morally or ethically justifiable reasons for her to allow the affair to continue. The only justification she can possibly have is that she wants to continue having sex with that man and soaking up all the time, attention and material goodies he's willing to give, whether he's someone else's husband or not. In other words, she's being totally selfish.
OTOH, if what you're calling idiotic is some idea of forming a "Sisterhood" to solve cheating, I can't comment on that. You're the one who brought it up, after all.
Yep, it's the idea, but yes, essentially it is yours...
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Sierra, I realize you feel a bit emotional about this issue (or at least about being right about this issue) but please don't insult. Okay? It's very unnecessary.
Not really. I am emotional about fairness and common sense in general, though.
Yep, it's the idea, but yes, essentially it is yours...
No, it was never my idea that women should band together or join together in some way to stop men from cheating. Where did you see me saying anything like that?
I have been saying the opposite all along, actually: that even if "somebody" was eventually going to be the other woman/man, that one individual who decided to be the "other" was/is responsible.
I surely never said anything about women getting together or a Prohibition-style ban.
No, it was never my idea that women should band together or join together in some way to stop men from cheating. Where did you see me saying anything like that?
I surely never said anything about women getting together or a Prohibition-style ban.
No, but based on the way you view the issue, it would be great, wouldn't it?
The only justification she can possibly have is that she wants to continue having sex with that man and soaking up all the time, attention and material goodies he's willing to give, whether he's someone else's husband or not. In other words, she's being totally selfish.
No, but based on the way you view the issue, it would be great, wouldn't it?
No. It wouldn't. In my view, anyway. What would be great would be if people would take individual responsibility -- not gang together or form some sort of a coalition, and not swinging in the other direction and deciding that since it could be anybody, it might as well be you (not you-Sierra, you-"other person").
Definitely, what you're saying doesn't have anything to do with my view with one exception: both views see the non-committed cheater as guilty. But it's a heck of a leap to invent this strawman bit about organizations and Prohibition simply because crazies like that, and people who think non-committed cheaters are guilty, both think non-committed cheaters are guilty.
I'm sorry, but it was *your* idea, never mine, nor anyone else's on this thread that I can see. I certainly don't see a single person agreeing with your woman's coalition or whatever stance. (confused)
My Grandfather owned a bar in Hoboken in the 40's and as my old Irish Grandmother used to say "there is a ***** at the end of every bar"! Forget sisterhood...it never has existed or will exist!
Forget sisterhood...it never has existed or will exist!
Exactly...I don't see anybody here, not even the most staunchly anti-"other" person, talking about this except the one person accusing other people of wanting this.
......human beings, who absolutely do have the will and the morals to choose either to f * ck or not f * ck someone else's spouse. Or at least I hope so. I'm starting to think maybe not.
I see no difference whatsoever between either party in an affair. Both are equally victimizing someone. Everyone does wrong, hurts someone in some way. I have. I have never done it on purpose though and certainly would not keep doing it once I realized what i was doing. That is where cheating really starts to flop over into the land of despicable in my view. Good people make mistakes and I have made too many myself to put someone down for theirs but when you are doing something hurtful to someone and you know it and just keep doing it anyways, thats really bad.
I see no difference whatsoever between either party in an affair. Both are equally victimizing someone. Everyone does wrong, hurts someone in some way. I have. I have never done it on purpose though and certainly would not keep doing it once I realized what i was doing. That is where cheating really starts to flop over into the land of despicable in my view. Good people make mistakes and I have made too many myself to put someone down for theirs but when you are doing something hurtful to someone and you know it and just keep doing it anyways, thats really bad.
You will never be happy at anothers expense...even when the other person gets the married one to leave the marriage it very rarely works out!
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