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This is like a thread from 7 years ago... Just sayin'
I will hit a two year drought come next November. I do get horny asf, but am so busy that its fleeting. It's easy to get some, just like it's easy to get a man. So honestly the reason I'm in a drought in the first place is because it isn't a priority.
Best believe that once I finish up with the things that I need to that are currently keeping me busy, that the drought will be over. I'm a proponent for waiting to have sex, not for 90 days, but for however long it takes until I'm comfortable and we have to have an agreed verbalized relationship of some sort.
That being said-I'm not keen on getting into a relationship, so rather than waiting until I'm ready for one, prolonging the drought, and so on-I have no qualms about just getting a "buddy" for a while-helps you get your groove back, ends the drought, and when it's time to get into a relationship makes it easier to avoid the awkwardness that usually happens when you went too long without any "d". This is what I would have recommended to the op lol.
Is that really necessary though? Does one automatically become bad/awkward at sex after going without for a few years? I haven't baked a pie in a few years but I can still do it. I don't need to bake any practice pies to get my pie groove back.
This is like a thread from 7 years ago... Just sayin'
I will hit a two year drought come next November. I do get horny asf, but am so busy that its fleeting. It's easy to get some, just like it's easy to get a man. So honestly the reason I'm in a drought in the first place is because it isn't a priority.
Best believe that once I finish up with the things that I need to that are currently keeping me busy, that the drought will be over. I'm a proponent for waiting to have sex, not for 90 days, but for however long it takes until I'm comfortable and we have to have an agreed verbalized relationship of some sort.
That being said-I'm not keen on getting into a relationship, so rather than waiting until I'm ready for one, prolonging the drought, and so on-I have no qualms about just getting a "buddy" for a while-helps you get your groove back, ends the drought, and when it's time to get into a relationship makes it easier to avoid the awkwardness that usually happens when you went too long without any "d". This is what I would have recommended to the op lol.
Not to get personal, but...why do you need to "keep busy" due to not having sex with another person? Unless you meant "keep busy" euphemistically? (Not being a smart-A, legitimately asking.) I mean...can't you, you know, take care of that yourself in the interim?
I never really understand when people say they're "so horny" and distracted just because they're not dating anyone and/or that they have to grab just anyone quick to get the quick satisfaction (as you stated, a "buddy")...didn't God give you two hands for a reason? One of them is for the mouse.
Not to get personal, but...why do you need to "keep busy" due to not having sex with another person? Unless you meant "keep busy" euphemistically? (Not being a smart-A, legitimately asking.) I mean...can't you, you know, take care of that yourself in the interim?
I never really understand when people say they're "so horny" and distracted just because they're not dating anyone and/or that they have to grab just anyone quick to get the quick satisfaction (as you stated, a "buddy")...didn't God give you two hands for a reason? One of them is for the mouse.
For a long, long time I thought that way; but I was also slowly going crazy from loads of stress and both physical and emotional loneliness. I figured sexually, just "unloading" was good enough.
As with all things, yes-and-no.
The first time I managed to have sex and break that years-long streak of physical loneliness, I was nearly overwhelmed by the odd sensations of actually having sex with someone, the mutuality, the physical sensations involving surprise, satisfaction, etc.
The longer that period went on, physically connected to someone, the more rewarding it became, because my own sexual nature is that of "giver" as well as being able to enjoy my own gratification. I got as much from doing as from being done, and it was powerful.
But emotion has always played a significant part, and when it ended due to some confounding reasons, I had to wrap my head around a lot of stuff.
Eventually it stopped being a dry spell, became a full-fledged streak once more. And a long one.
Now I'm back to the whole thing with self-gratification -- but the difference is that now I see it as a solution, not as a temporary fix. Ergo, on the whole I'm more satisfied with it than I once was, approach it differently mentally as well as physically.
But how one perceives it is quite personal, and so, thus, is the level of gratification behind it, as well as the level of "relief" achieved.
Ergo, perhaps not so simple as all that you suggest, at least not for everyone.
^ I understand all that, US, and there is a world of difference between satisfying a biological need and satisfying an emotional one (though they can overlap)...BUT specifically I was addressing the poster who seemed to be saying she needed a you-know-what buddy just to satisfy a sexual urge. She wasn't referencing the whole enchilada of a relationship/association. She was (is?) considering a hookup guy for, I guess, orgasms. I was saying: No. You don't need another person just for those.
Is that really necessary though? Does one automatically become bad/awkward at sex after going without for a few years? I haven't baked a pie in a few years but I can still do it. I don't need to bake any practice pies to get my pie groove back.
If I hadn't baked a pie in three years, I would need my recipe book as a guide to help me--which may make me feel slightly rusty and the pie may turn out fine(or not) but the process to make the pie will require relearning on my part and "help". Whereas if I was making it often I would just know how to do it without even having to think about it.
I don't think it's necessary that one get an "f-buddy" to avoid awkward sex after a drought. But if you have a need and want it filled and its prolonged because your waiting for the right man for a relationship then why not get that need met instead of depriving yourself? Now if someone is content with celibacy and don't feel the need or urge to have sex until they find the right man and the right relationship then it makes no sense to do what makes them uncomfortable and get an "f-buddy". It's up to the person.
If I hadn't baked a pie in three years, I would need my recipe book as a guide to help me--which may make me feel slightly rusty and the pie may turn out fine(or not) but the process to make the pie will require relearning on my part and "help". Whereas if I was making it often I would just know how to do it without even having to think about it.
I don't think it's necessary that one get an "f-buddy" to avoid awkward sex after a drought. But if you have a need and want it filled and its prolonged because your waiting for the right man for a relationship then why not get that need met instead of depriving yourself? Now if someone is content with celibacy and don't feel the need or urge to have sex until they find the right man and the right relationship then it makes no sense to do what makes them uncomfortable and get an "f-buddy". It's up to the person.
It is definitely a choice and up to the person, without judgment from others, but yes, there are potential problems inherent to the whole F-buddy thing once it becomes a practice rather than just a fun idea. Talk to people who have had one or more, and you'll hear a sprinkling of "it all worked out perfectly" stories, plus a lot of "One of us developed feelings," "it got awkward when one of us was dating while we were F-buddies even though we had an agreement," "I wanted an F-buddy but one who was exclusive to me so I wouldn't risk an STD, then I found out my F-buddy was 'cheating' against our agreement," "my F-buddy's new girlfriend found out about us, she ended it and he was crushed," "I want just an F-buddy but also we should hang out sometimes and watch movies together but s/he refuses and it makes me feel colder about the whole thing" and so on stories.
It CAN work out just fine but there are so many potential problems. I mean like...a laundry list of potential problems.
But no judging here as far as morality or anything is concerned. And I wasn't intending a moral judgment when I asked why a person would have to keep busy with projects rather than having an orgasm, simply because another person isn't around - that I still don't understand, unless I misinterpreted the statement. That was what I was questioning - not whether or not it was morally okay to have an F-buddy.
Not to get personal, but...why do you need to "keep busy" due to not having sex with another person? Unless you meant "keep busy" euphemistically? (Not being a smart-A, legitimately asking.) I mean...can't you, you know, take care of that yourself in the interim?
I never really understand when people say they're "so horny" and distracted just because they're not dating anyone and/or that they have to grab just anyone quick to get the quick satisfaction (as you stated, a "buddy")...didn't God give you two hands for a reason? One of them is for the mouse.
I don't need to keep busy... I think you misunderstood me. I am busy. I'm a single mom, work full time, in graduate school, have personal goals I'm working on, etc., etc.,--I don't have the time right now to invest in a relationship and don't want to be in a relationship. My urges for sex come often, but go just as quickly as they come, because I have too many other distractions. In the small amount of leisure time I do have, I choose to do other things. So all in all sex is not a priority because I rarely use my time focusing on it long enough to make it one. So right now the drought has not been a problem at all, because I rarely think about it long enough to even realize how long it's been.
But I will be done with school in June, moved to different location(one of the goals I'm working on) and a few other things will be happening that will give me more time and I know myself enough to know that when that happens those fleeting "sexual" urges will start to stick around a lot longer and will eventually become a problem-one that I will need worked out lol
Obviously I can use my hands and do if I need to, but it is not the same and it's not as fun. It's a great way to relieve back up but won't meet the need of a natural "d", at least not for me.
It is definitely a choice and up to the person, without judgment from others, but yes, there are potential problems inherent to the whole F-buddy thing once it becomes a practice rather than just a fun idea. Talk to people who have had one or more, and you'll hear a sprinkling of "it all worked out perfectly" stories, plus a lot of "One of us developed feelings," "it got awkward when one of us was dating while we were F-buddies even though we had an agreement," "I wanted an F-buddy but one who was exclusive to me so I wouldn't risk an STD, then I found out my F-buddy was 'cheating' against our agreement," "my F-buddy's new girlfriend found out about us, she ended it and he was crushed," "I want just an F-buddy but also we should hang out sometimes and watch movies together but s/he refuses and it makes me feel colder about the whole thing" and so on stories.
It CAN work out just fine but there are so many potential problems. I mean like...a laundry list of potential problems.
But no judging here as far as morality or anything is concerned. And I wasn't intending a moral judgment when I asked why a person would have to keep busy with projects rather than having an orgasm, simply because another person isn't around - that I still don't understand, unless I misinterpreted the statement. That was what I was questioning - not whether or not it was morally okay to have an F-buddy.
Yep, I'm aware of the difficulties with F-"buddies". I have my own beliefs and strategy about the way I approach it. I did have an experience with an "f-buddy" not ending well-because shortly after it started it became a short-lived relationship(reasons that had nothing to do with sex). The only f-buddy experience I have to date and it fulfilled what I needed it to, even when it transitioned into a relationship. It wasn't emotional for me, but I understand the risks.
I don't need to keep busy... I think you misunderstood me. I am busy. I'm a single mom, work full time, in graduate school, have personal goals I'm working on, etc., etc.,--I don't have the time right now to invest in a relationship and don't want to be in a relationship. My urges for sex come often, but go just as quickly as they come, because I have too many other distractions. In the small amount of leisure time I do have, I choose to do other things. So all in all sex is not a priority because I rarely use my time focusing on it long enough to make it one. So right now the drought has not been a problem at all, because I rarely think about it long enough to even realize how long it's been.
But I will be done with school in June, moved to different location(one of the goals I'm working on) and a few other things will be happening that will give me more time and I know myself enough to know that when that happens those fleeting "sexual" urges will start to stick around a lot longer and will eventually become a problem-one that I will need worked out lol
Obviously I can use my hands and do if I need to, but it is not the same and it's not as fun. It's a great way to relieve back up but won't meet the need of a natural "d", at least not for me.
LOL...I saw one over the weekend that I think you would've liked a lot. The guy was a stripper and really big...and you know..."dark." I covered my eyes!
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She was (is?) considering a hookup guy for, I guess, orgasms. I was saying: No. You don't need another person just for those. 
