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Today I heard on the radio that if married couples went to a marriage counselor once a year, that their relationships got lots better . Even when the couples didn't think their problems were that big, it helped them tremendously.
There are many old lonely ladies living around here - a house, an 80yo lady, a house, a 90yo lady... Widowed for years and years... They could probably give you their 2c about companionship, and lack of thereof.
Tell me about your experience. I want to hear other peoples experiences of reconcilation when the divorce papers were almost filed.
We did. He moved out two years ago this past March and I filed for divorce. We started working on a reconciliation in June. He moved back in in August, which turned out to be too soon and we're struggling now because of it. The marriage counselor warned, back then, about not moving too quickly but I just wanted my kids out of limbo.
I'm not sure if we'll make it or not but neither one of us wants to put the kids through a divorce. The issue that is at the heart of the matter is the fact he started seeing someone else within weeks of moving out. I'm struggling with the fact he had this affair. It's not something I can just ignore.
To me, starting a new relationship is more of risk
Than staying in a old one at least no more surprise
It's the unknown poison vs. the known one. Which is worse for you?
I'm the same. I really don't want to go through the effort to start a new relationship with no idea how it works out. I know the issues in this one and, so far, they haven't been worse than starting over.
Too many people go looking for something/someone to MAKE them happy. That doesn't work. Things and other people don't make us happy. Happiness is a choice. You can choose to bloom where you are.
My husband is one of those people who thinks life will be great if we only change something. He drives me nuts. Get to where you're happy where you are before you go changing things and then don't change them because you think there will be some effect. Change them simply because you want to.
90% of marraige counseling results in divorce.
glad it was not yours.
Where did you find that stat? Can you post a link?
Our counselor said it was more like half. Couples who are in counseling usually have some motive for working on their marriage. I find it surprising that 90% of couples who want to work on their marriages fail.
Not me personally, but I know three couples in this situation. Actually two went through with divorce, and later remarried. One is at the one year mark, the other about four or five years. My friend who almost got divorced had the papers filed and one month away from being finalized. She and her husband just celebrated 17 years of marriage.
It can work, it depends on the people and depends on the reasons for the split in the first place.
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