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Do you conceal your hatred and play a role with your dates or do you actually reveal your lack of respect for them?
In either case, don't you think you are contributing to the very image you claim to detest so?
I am pretty upfront. If someone is rude or disrespectful toward me, I have no problem telling them so.
Like the last guy who had all these rules about our first date, including being able to touch me. He quoted something he had read on eharmony (sic).
When he got gropey in the restaurant, I told him I thought this was a first meeting, and basically trying to get to know each other, and I felt he had skipped several chapters.
I don't think I am contributing to the images I don't like. I make it a point to be upfront and honest, and I think some people don't really like honesty, although they claim to.
The last married guy ( I didn't know he was married, he swore to be single) said that honesty, trust, and communication were so important. I guess people can say a lot of things, so it's not what they say, it's what they do. If there isn't any congruency there, bingo.
I'd like to place my personal disapproval to the side for a moment and try and get a view into the mind of the resident misogynists/ misandrists.
If you think this site is populated by misogynists, e Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0cm; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:612.0pt 792.0pt; margin:72.0pt 90.0pt 72.0pt 90.0pt; mso-header-margin:36.0pt; mso-footer-margin:36.0pt; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} -->* you have a very low tolerance threshold. And if you want bitter, it is the guys out there who got skinned in a divorce. Misogyny is what they ooze, but few are on this site. I've seen a couple of sites where they come out in force. Ask there if you want an earful.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate
What is it that propels you to think so poorly of the opposite sex? Was it one incident, a combination of several,.....
From the male side, I think that the main frustration that I (and other thoughtful male posters also) have, is the disconnect between women taking responsible for their future and the actual situations they find themself in. It is 20 times easier to avoid men with bad habits than to correct them after you've committed. Many of our posts are packed with good advice of this type and most older women would concur. However, it seems that usually, women grab a guy based on the superficial attributes, complain when he cannot be cleaned up and scream for help.
Most men find this increasingly lame as they get older. This is especially true among men who have never been cut any slack. They see all these complaints and say, "That's not me. Why am I being dragged in?"
If you think this site is populated by misogynists, e Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0cm; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:612.0pt 792.0pt; margin:72.0pt 90.0pt 72.0pt 90.0pt; mso-header-margin:36.0pt; mso-footer-margin:36.0pt; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} -->* you have a very low tolerance threshold. And if you want bitter, it is the guys out there who got skinned in a divorce. Misogyny is what they ooze, but few are on this site. I've seen a couple of sites where they come out in force. Ask there if you want an earful.
From the male side, I think that the main frustration that I (and other thoughtful male posters also) have, is the disconnect between women taking responsible for their future and the actual situations they find themself in. It is 20 times easier to avoid men with bad habits than to correct them after you've committed. Many of our posts are packed with good advice of this type and most older women would concur. However, it seems that usually, women grab a guy based on the superficial attributes, complain when he cannot be cleaned up and scream for help.
Most men find this increasingly lame as they get older. This is especially true among men who have never been cut any slack. They see all these complaints and say, "That's not me. Why am I being dragged in?"
All I can say is we can only work on ourselves. I know I had to look at anything that was my fault in my marriage before I left it. When I tried to remedy anything I thought I could, and it didn't fix anything, I knew I had tried.
It is really gets old when men who are divorced won't consider for a minute that anyone could be different than their exwife.
I don't know about these guys, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone. So that's sort of a guess, because I don't want to compromise and be with someone who isn't good for me.
I am not going to jump just because someone shows interest either, there has to be chemistry. And because there has to be chemistry, it doesn't mean superficiality either.
I sometimes wonder how men fit love into the equation. So many times, you hear they don't want a relationship or to be "tied down" or "lose their freedom", but when you're with someone you want to be with, you're gaining, not losing, and you're there because you want to be there.
I should shut up.
OP, does their bitterness stop you from living your life?
Good one, Sam.
I dont think its bitterness, per say, towards men or women in general. It might be that one may have experienced being fooled one time too many and might be hesitant to take down that shield that they have built up, to protect their hearts.
Sometimes though, a good person might come along and pushes relentlessly, causing everything to backfire and pushing a person completely further, opposite, because they simply arent ready to try again, at least not be force, which adds less hope to any possibility. So what, whats keeping that pushy person from trying other venues?
Personally, the right guy (or girl) is out there. Theres someone for everyone. But one needs to let it happen naturally if it was meant to. Not be forced into it. Dont waste your energy and your life thinking negatively about all men (or women).
But not being bitter towards all is the key factor here. If the right one comes along, given time, it'll happen if/when its ready to. If not, move along and quit pouting!
I am not bitter about the rules of the dating game or behavior of women. The rules are very obvious and fare in my opinion.
From my perspective, the rules state that quality of your girlfriends is dependent upon your looks, occupation, and social status. The higher you are on each totem pole, the hotter and more sophicated your dates will be. Dating is probably the most efficient market on the planet. People generally do the best they possibly can for the circumstances they are in.
The only resentment I have is towards my parents. My personality and social status are lacking and I blame that on my parents. That being said, I've accomplished everything I wanted to in regards to dating. I just think I could have done "better".
People don't usually recognize bitterness in themselves. They believe they are being honest realists. I don't think most people have the dispassion to accurately assess themselves in that way. It's like when you go skiing and wear blue goggles for a long time ... after a while, everything looks normal and you don't see the blue anymore. I suspect that many people forget they're wearing goggles at all.
People don't usually recognize bitterness in themselves. They believe they are being honest realists. I don't think most people have the dispassion to accurately assess themselves in that way. It's like when you go skiing and wear blue goggles for a long time ... after a while, everything looks normal and you don't see the blue anymore. I suspect that many people forget they're wearing goggles at all.
Ahhhhh I was just going to say almost exactly the same thing.
People don't usually recognize bitterness in themselves. They believe they are being honest realists. I don't think most people have the dispassion to accurately assess themselves in that way. It's like when you go skiing and wear blue goggles for a long time ... after a while, everything looks normal and you don't see the blue anymore. I suspect that many people forget they're wearing goggles at all.
Perfectly stated. Tried to rep, but couldn't. I can think of several posters off the top of my head who fit this description. They don't see themselves as bitter, just realists.
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Questions for the bitter men and women
