Why don't guys like me? (date, boyfriend, woman, young)

[cuinlalaland]

pengirl, if guys aren't approaching you then you have to approach them, simple as that. If you're even half-way decent looking and nice, few guys will reject you.

[nebulous1]

Originally Posted by texdav

I thnik as you get older you will find that the same boys start moving away from the sleazy type and more towards the type you say you are. When you get older you can go into a bar and see that type still hanging around waiting for someone to rescue them.The girl with teh missing teeth has started down that road most proably.At 17 I would satrt down the few drinks thing really.

They do? Guys my age want a 21 year old. It's still about the friends with benefits thing for them.

[Waynec613]

Originally Posted by pengirl40

***SNIP***

Ya, at 17?

A. Don't be giving your picture out AT ALL for god's sake.
B. Unless you get the stereotypical super-jock that takes a liking to you that will flat out ask it usually doesn't happen.
C. You don't have the flirtation skills probably honed to make interest apparent, and neither do most young men at that age, nor can they recognize it easily.

If I went back to that age from what I know now things would be very different from when I actually was that age. I can't believe how many have told me they had interest now from that time, I had 0 clue at the time.

[RichardW]

Maybe it's bwecause by the nature of your first post you pigeon hole and categorize them by your exceedingly pointlessly high standards dear. You would need to lower your standards. Start from the bottom if you want to go up. Same in any walk of life.

Oh yeah and get off the liquor it ain't cool, it ain't grown up for goodness sake.

[Chowhound]

Originally Posted by RichardW

Maybe it's bwecause by the nature of your first post you pigeon hole and categorize them by your exceedingly pointlessly high standards dear. You would need to lower your standards. Start from the bottom if you want to go up. Same in any walk of life.

Oh yeah and get off the liquor it ain't cool, it ain't grown up for goodness sake.

I said this earlier, Life really is like a box of chocolates, you don't know what you your gonna get.

[Rhett_Butler]

Originally Posted by pengirl40

Check, check, and check. I do all of those three things already.

This isn't a whine or rant, more just of a question to throw there and see what other people besides myself think. I've pondered this topic with a few friends but they're all baffled and don't have any answers themselves (and I doubt they're just flattering me because they have proven themselves to be brutally honest in the past).

Look, it sounds like you have a LOT going for you. You're 17 and going to be hitting college soon. Keep your eyes on the prize ma' dear. Don't start worrying about THESE guys now...

I went to a smaller high school in a rural town in Virginia and I can simply tell you from my experience, for whatever reason, boys and girls of an Asian background were simply pigeon-holed into a "too smart, not interested in dating, don't really give them a second look" kind of status... Now that was (cringe) 20 years ago, and things might have progressed a bit, but that's how I remember it. For some reason in high school you are REALLY judged on a reputation and a perceived confidence. You sound like you lack a little social confidence, but either way, don't waste your time on fixing that now. Again, you're almost done with high school, just be patient on this front BECAUSE.......

.......College comes and it ALL resets. You're then going to be able to re-make your image to some extent, and people are more mature in many ways you'll find... Asian women are VERY attractive and sometimes it takes us non-Asian men a little time to become keen to that fact, but we come around... I think you'll be fine. Work on yourself, get into a good college and enjoy yourself and this is ALL going to fall into place. Try not to worry.

[Rhett_Butler]

Originally Posted by weindell

I really regret having wasted so much time and energy when I was in high school trying to attract guys. I wish I had focused on getting good grades, getting into the best college I could, and establishing myself in a fulfilling career without worrying about guys. I found out much later that they tend to show up precisely when you're not looking for them. So my advice to you is this: Be the best YOU you can be, and stop worrying about guys.

Oh, there ya go.... That's about right...

[MMichelle]

Perhaps you are too mature for your classmates?

A couple of things that I noticed in the OP -
1. This is your first public school. I think your experiances are different than your class mates (not better or worse just different). You may not feel that you relate well to them.
2. You said you are not interested in your male class mates - that way. If you are not interested in them for boyfriends, I'm sure they are picking that up.

I'll go back to my orginal statement - you may be too mature for your class mates. Only time will allow you to catch up to an age group that you connect well with. In the meantime, have fun and work towards good grades and completing your education. MEN will come your way soon enough!
Best wishes.

[CESpeed]

Originally Posted by TexianPatriot

Good call on the picture thing. Moving to east Texas to attend a small town, redneck high school, a lot of people thought I was a prude for the way I dressed (nice) and how reserved I was at first. You just gotta go out there and get drunk with everyone a few times. Plus if you are anything like me, your inhibitions go to the wind and you start opening up with people when you've got a few drinks in you. Oh yea, you don't have to sleep with anyone to be cool. I know that sounds kind of juvenile, but I made it through high school without having sex and I was one of the coolest guys around by the time I graduated. Playing sports helps too.

This is one of the IRRESPONSIBLE THINGS I HAVE EVER READ! How can you tell a 17 yo to go get drunk.

Sweetheart DO NOT listen to this GARBAGE! I had the same problems when I started high school. I had attended private school and public school is a whole new animal. I can only imagine how much worse it is in a small town.

Guys your age are vey immature and have their minds on two things: sex and college.

It sounds to me like your private school experience has made you more mature than the guys in your school and they don't know how to handle it. That's why you attract older men. They sense a combination of maturity and naivete, which is every father's nightmare. The good news is when you get to college, you'll find the more mature guys (your age) who will appreciate you and your more mature outlook on life.

In the meantime, you'll probably do better if you were interested in the smarter boys in school. The computer, science chess crew. Those are the future millionaires, btw. And they clean up very nicely in their 20's. The captains of the football rarely end up as anything more than the high school gym teacher with stories of his glory days.

Best of luck.

[floridadreamer]

When we moved from a high-school of about 2000 to one of about 700, I had a similar problem. To top it off, I didn't drink at all, which seems to be the main past-time in the mid-west, even in high school. I dated one guy in the 3 years, who turned out to be just after one thing and dumped me to go back to his "younger" girlfriend that was willing to put out.

Right after I graduated, I mean literally 2 months after, I started dating someone that was about 6 years older. You are 17 yrs old. My feeling is that if you do start dating someone, it won't be someone from school, but more likely someone at least a couple of years older. And once you get out of high school, you'll find a lot more doors opening in that department because EVERYONE is then on their own. No more cliques. Wahoo!!