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I am new at posting a thread on this forum, but I have seen the forum and read some of the posts, you all seem very nice and there are a lot of really constructive replies.
There is a chap at work that I have known for 6 years, I started a new job after a departmental restructure a couple of years ago which meant i would occasionally bump into him. We do not work directly together, we are at opposite ends of the building so do not see him that much.
Since being in my new post we have become a bit more talkative with each other, and for quite a long while I have gathered that he quite likes me, I haven't taken it for grantede that he actually fancies me, I really like him but will not make it obvious. I could tell he liked me because he was so different with me, the shyness, blushing, bumbly talking, he told me I looked nice one day when I was wearing my short skirt suit outfit. As I like him I have tried to become a little more talkative with him when passing his office, not too much as I know he is busy. I told a friend in another department that I liked him, she tells me how familiar she is with him and jokes around with him about this daft door stop cat he has etc in his office. So I kinda thought he would appreciate me being a little more chatty with him. He played in the department cricket match and I went with him, it was a good night, he went home and I went home, nothing happened as we were all in a group and just had a friendly drink after.
Now I feel that it is going backwards, after thinking I was doing well with him and getting on fine, but waiting for him to make the move lol, he replied to one of my friendly emails in a really long winded essay saying I shouldnt send messages from outside the company, and that he hasnt got time to engage in frivulous chats etc etc. It kinda came from nowhere. Now I feel that I want to apologise and explain that because my friend had said how familiar she was with him in the way of sending the occasional fun email and teasing him (but then she doesnt fancy him), I thought he wouldnt mind a bit of light hearted conversation. The reason I sent the chatty email out of work was so I didnt appear that I was typing that instead of working, all the other emails I have sent to him have been work related with just say one short sentance of more light hearted topic just to lighten the mood. Certainly nothing that would scare him off.
It does make me wonder if someone has said something to him or he has simply decided to put a barrier up because he is afraid of his own feelings, going on the basis that it was fairly obvious he liked me.
Now, should I speak to him and explain that I was only being friendly and trying to include him in conversation and that I like him. It is very odd as I have only sent 4 emails in total since February, and 3 of them were work related. The last one that he replied to was around 5.30 after work (he always stays really late) from my blackberry which has my hotmail email address.
I know we have to be careful what we send to work from outside, that is why I kept it brief and light hearted.
Now I feel that it is going backwards, after thinking I was doing well with him and getting on fine, but waiting for him to make the move lol, he replied to one of my friendly emails in a really long winded essay saying I shouldnt send messages from outside the company, and that he hasnt got time to engage in frivulous chats etc etc. It kinda came from nowhere.
Huh! This would be enough for me. Apology nothing! The way I see it, from his response, he`s not interested. Sorry...
Yes I van understand that, which is why I have not given any tell tale signs that I like him, but he did me for ages, I started to really like him but not say anything then when I told my friend/colleague from the other department that's when he started to seem less attentive, then the next thing I got this really long pompous email, though I don't think he meant to sound pompous, just over explained.
Tomorrow is my first day back after his email and I am wondering how he will be, he was off on leave for a week after he sent it so we haven't seen each other since, yikes.
I will get over him, but when you really like someone it is hard, we don't work near each other so no problem there.
I do feel I would like to tell him my message was only light hearted and that because others do the same, even hug him and peck him on the cheek was why I thought he wouldn't react like he did, thought he liked me, well the signals he gave seemed that way.
I went put with a guy in my office and we were fine after I ended it, we are still good mates and there was no atmosphere because we are both adults and didn't let it interfere with work.
Yes I van understand that, which is why I have not given any tell tale signs that I like him, but he did me for ages, I started to really like him but not say anything then when I told my friend/colleague from the other department that's when he started to seem less attentive, then the next thing I got this really long pompous email, though I don't think he meant to sound pompous, just over explained.
Tomorrow is my first day back after his email and I am wondering how he will be, he was off on leave for a week after he sent it so we haven't seen each other since, yikes.
I will get over him, but when you really like someone it is hard, we don't work near each other so no problem there.
I do feel I would like to tell him my message was only light hearted and that because others do the same, even hug him and peck him on the cheek was why I thought he wouldn't react like he did, thought he liked me, well the signals he gave seemed that way.
I went put with a guy in my office and we were fine after I ended it, we are still good mates and there was no atmosphere because we are both adults and didn't let it interfere with work.
Hey Ho xxx
If you feel the need to tell him this, then go for it. If you don`t, you may always, often, wonder about it. I don`t see where it would hurt anything at this point. Just don`t expect much..
Oh hod yes, good point, I think I will just be what am good at, being professional, I've a good working relationship with the councillors and he knows that, also like you say, he knows where I am. I should just say hello when we past and that's it I think don't you. Once I've seen him and we have said hi I won't be nervous anymore. Funny how people chop and change though isn't it.
Thanks to all for your opinions by the way, it's good to hear what others think.
God I have just read back at my message and the amount of typos's, thats doing it on the iphone and not the pc lol. Oh hod, should have read 'Oh god', when we past, should have read 'when we pass', not my usual grammer, and I have false nails on which does not help lol.
I am a little nervous about tomorrow as when I sent the email via my Blackberry to his work email, knowing he was still there after 5.30pm, I was off the Thursday and Friday after that, then the next week he was off for a week, I have been off today (Monday) so tomorrow will be when we are both in our working abodes, yikes. I do not think I should avoid his area, as I do walk through that area, by avoiding it completely would only show that I do have something to hide (I dont), so I think I should just be myself and get on with work and try and forget him, just say hi in passing, passing this time not past lol.
I think I was probably a bit easily led by this other colleague, nice as she is, but I get the impression she exaggerates a bit by saying she hugs him and pecks him, he is higher rank than us and I am damn sure I wouldnt hug him or peck him, unless we were out of work and that way inclined. I used to be very boringly professional but since meeting her I got a bit more like her, maybe thats what he didnt like.
I think I may just stick to my music and guitars, they dont answer me back lol.
God I have just read back at my message and the amount of typos's, thats doing it on the iphone and not the pc lol. Oh hod, should have read 'Oh god', when we past, should have read 'when we pass', not my usual grammer, and I have false nails on which does not help lol.
I am a little nervous about tomorrow as when I sent the email via my Blackberry to his work email, knowing he was still there after 5.30pm, I was off the Thursday and Friday after that, then the next week he was off for a week, I have been off today (Monday) so tomorrow will be when we are both in our working abodes, yikes. I do not think I should avoid his area, as I do walk through that area, by avoiding it completely would only show that I do have something to hide (I dont), so I think I should just be myself and get on with work and try and forget him, just say hi in passing, passing this time not past lol.
I think I was probably a bit easily led by this other colleague, nice as she is, but I get the impression she exaggerates a bit by saying she hugs him and pecks him, he is higher rank than us and I am damn sure I wouldnt hug him or peck him, unless we were out of work and that way inclined. I used to be very boringly professional but since meeting her I got a bit more like her, maybe thats what he didnt like.
I think I may just stick to my music and guitars, they dont answer me back lol.
Hugs xxx
Yep. I agree. I wouldn`t be telling her anything else.
Just hold your head up, and if you happen to make eye contact, smile, nod, say hi, and move on. Thats it.
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The way I see it, from his response, he`s not interested. Sorry...
