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Read the above post there is no point to getting married, I know this I have been saying that for years. Hard to think that all my ex-Gf's all wanted to get married and now when I run into them with their screaming kids, (or not) they aren't happy with their lives. They like most other females think they want to get married but soon come to realize that it's NOT what they thought it would be.
Are you attempting to address my post?
If you don't want to get married. Don't. After all, you know YOU best.
But please don't assume that you know ANYTHING about me and my reasons OR that I haven't lived long enough or experienced enough in my life to be able to make an informed choice that best suits my partner and myself.
Exactly! I'm truly astonished at the poor decision making people make when choosing partners these days. Grant it, I'm only 29...but it seems like people back in the 50's and 60's had much much better decision making skills when choosing partners. It seems that the bum/loser/abuser is the "in guy" these days while the hard workers/focused/honest/driven/ honest and decent guys are "out"
At times, I have found it very hard to believe, but its true.
Exactly! I'm truly astonished at the poor decision making people make when choosing partners these days. Grant it, I'm only 29...but it seems like people back in the 50's and 60's had much much better decision making skills when choosing partners. It seems that the bum/loser/abuser is the "in guy" these days while the hard workers/focused/honest/driven/ honest and decent guys are "out"
Oh, sure. That explains why divorces peaked in the 1970's. [/end sarcasm]
Well I said yes and meant it so I'm guessing that would mean I still want to get married.
It's all new to me. Never really wanted to before and was perfectly fine with the idea of not getting married.
Things change and they change again. You can only do your best and make decisions on the information you have at hand at the time and see how it all pans out.
That's life I guess.
50 % of all marriages fail nowadays so you might as well flip a coin regarding if it will work or not. I don't know ur situation but most folks marry nowadays based on a need; the need to to either have someone financially to lean on; b/c they been dateless for most of their adult life and really need the company; or god forbid they are in there late 20's early 30's and are still buying into The COsby Show, Growing Pains, Family Ties ect.....
I figure why risk it. Look at Kurt Russell/GOldie Hawn. No Paperwork and been together a Quarter of a century
After a twenty year marriage ending in divorce, and a very bitter exwife who was the one who filed, I thought I would never get married again. I dated several women, but I didn't see any women that I really liked. There was always something wrong, either their ability to manage their money, or their inability to get along with other people. Some had no sense of humor, some were childish, some spoiled their children to extremes, some were moody or down in the dumps. Finaly I asked out a friend I had known for years because I needed a date for a dinner party. We didn't date again for two months, and after dating for 5 years she wanted to move in with me. I told her no, and that didn't bother her. Soon I noticed that we thought alike about so many things, we ended up finishing each other's sentences. After another year I decided I didn't want anyone else in my life. We are best friends, we still enjoy being together, whether it is cleaning, cooking, or entertaining guests. She is just so very special. I have never worried about going through another divorce, I worry about dieing early and leaving her to fend for herself.
Last edited by Nite Ryder; 03-01-2010 at 11:37 PM..
Reason: spelling
After a twenty year marriage ending in divorce, and a very bitter exwife who was the one who filed, I thought I would never get married again. I dated several women, but I didn't see any women that I really liked. There was always something wrong, either their ability to manage their money, or their inability to get along with other people. Some had no sense of humor, some were childish, some spoiled their children to extremes, some were moody or down in the dumps. Finaly I asked out a friend I had known for years because I needed a date for a dinner party. We didn't date again for two months, and after dating for 5 years she wanted to move in with me. I told her no, and that didn't bother her. Soon I noticed that we thought alike about so many things, we ended up finishing each other's sentences. After another year I decided I didn't want anyone else in my life. We are best friends, we still enjoy being together, whether it is cleaning, cooking, or entertaining guests. She is just so very special. I have never worried about going through another divorce, I worry about dieing early and leaving her to fend for herself.
I can believe this, but most likely you are an older man, probably in the neighborhood of 45 or so. Thats one of the safer ages to marry. At 45 I would probably consider it more just for the fact that my dating options for hot woman would not be the same as they are now at 33.
Ha ha..this title is where our country is headed but soon it will be "do men and women date anymore?"..because too many people are looking for too high standards in these times and they want it now and want it fast....i remember when times were good when people had to get up to change a tv channel but as in relationships we all need the next fastest thing to convienience ourselves instead of keeping it on a station because we are too tired to get up and change it and that causes us to actually start talking to the next person in the room about real things besides that colorfull box....that is why things are tough now...it seems also that more and more women think guys are not worthy these days ...when more and more guys are losing jobs because of a bad economy...we arent in the 90's anymore people
50 % of all marriages fail nowadays so you might as well flip a coin regarding if it will work or not. I don't know ur situation but most folks marry nowadays based on a need; the need to to either have someone financially to lean on; b/c they been dateless for most of their adult life and really need the company; or god forbid they are in there late 20's early 30's and are still buying into The COsby Show, Growing Pains, Family Ties ect.....
I figure why risk it. Look at Kurt Russell/GOldie Hawn. No Paperwork and been together a Quarter of a century
I said I still want to get married, not that I lived under a rock for most of my life and am unaware of the divorce statistics.
I get why you don't want to risk it jack and I understand what you're saying, I'm just saying that's not how I see it. Like most things in my life I am guided by my instinct and I'm well aware of the toss of the coin. It applies to so many things in life. I still think better to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all.
It also makes me laugh that I've spent YEARS and YEARS listening to people who weren't married giving me some kind of secret Hi 5 because I hadn't married and also suffered the endless comments of people that were married who couldn't understand why I hadn't married AND NOW I get to listen to all the people who haven't married lecture me on why I shouldn't and get the secret Hi 5 from all the people who are that think I've come over to "their side"
I wouldn't have thought with all the trouble, time, energy and effort that people, married, single, divorced and widowed have in their own relationships that anyone has time to be worried about me & mine.
We are just fine. We'll either succeed or we'll fail but at least we'll be having a go at it together and hopefully that will be the way it stays.
....I wouldn't have thought with all the trouble, time, energy and effort that people, married, single, divorced and widowed have in their own relationships that anyone has time to be worried about me & mine.
We are just fine. We'll either succeed or we'll fail but at least we'll be having a go at it together and hopefully that will be the way it stays.
Here! Here! Whatever folks choose to do is fine by me. It is their relationship and has nothing to do with my life. Married, coupled, gay marriage, polygamous marriage, whatever works for them.
As for myself, I have no idea if I want to get married again or be in a long-term monogamous relationship or in no relationship at all. I'll figure it out as life happens and I hope whatever choice I make is respected.
Here! Here! Whatever folks choose to do is fine by me. It is their relationship and has nothing to do with my life. Married, coupled, gay marriage, polygamous marriage, whatever works for them.
As for myself, I have no idea if I want to get married again or be in a long-term monogamous relationship or in no relationship at all. I'll figure it out as life happens and I hope whatever choice I make is respected.
That's pretty much it, mary. Figure it out as you go along.
Life changes and **** happens. It's how we respond to the hard times that defines us as people.
It's too easy in my opinion to say oh I failed at something therefore I'll always fail at something, or there's something wrong with everyone else when the problem might very well be mine and mine alone. I most definitely don't put too much emphasis on other people's failings stopping me from getting started in the first place. AND even if I do fail, so what? I'm sure after a good cry and some re-adjustment I'll just dust myself off and get back on the horse. Maybe a different horse but I'll definitely get back up again.
People need to do what's right for them and be respectful of themselves and those around them, even if it's not the same choice they would make.
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After all, you know YOU best. 
