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I have a friend whom I have known for 10 years. We actually dated briefly. Anyway, he always tells me I should loosen up and be more extroverted. I can not help my personality. I am a introvert I always have been. He also says that I can come off as a snob. I told him I don't mean to but I am quiet and reserve. Then yesterday we were talking on the phone and he actually started telling me that I need to loosen up in bed as well. As I stated earlier we have dated in the past and we were intimate a few times. So,he starts to tell me all the things I could do better. Even comparing me to other girls he has been with.Basically by the time the conversation was over I felt horrible about myself. I think I am a good person and I have never had a person try to change me like he has or tell me all my negative points. Believe me he is not perfect by no means but I accept people for who they are. I don't want to change anybody and I don't want anybody to change me. What should I do? Should I tell him how I feel about what he said?
Tell him he could harden up a bit in bed.
No seriously...this guy is probably trying to help you out a bit. I can see how frustrating that would be for you.
I look at it in a constructive way. Maybe if you smiled more you would meet more guys or even people in general. Maybe you didn't know you kinda come off like a "snob" maybe people have mentioned that to him. "Why is your friend look like a snob?"
At any rate, it could help to smooth off some rough edges of your personality. However, he would not be a good person to hang with as a close friend or even a boyfriend.
I'd be interested in knowing how the OP is taking all this advice...
It's funny, but here on C-D Relationships friends are constantly giving other friends advice, in seemingly all areas of life. Most of the time it seems to go over well, but I'm wondering if it's because we're indeed only friends and not in a relationship with each other (my apologies to anyone who is ).
And in keeping up the mad tradition of this forum, I'll throw in my 2 centavos and say "Lose this guy".
I'd be interested in knowing how the OP is taking all this advice...
It's funny, but here on C-D Relationships friends are constantly giving other friends advice, in seemingly all areas of life. Most of the time it seems to go over well, but I'm wondering if it's because we're indeed only friends and not in a relationship with each other (my apologies to anyone who is ).
And in keeping up the mad tradition of this forum, I'll throw in my 2 centavos and say "Lose this guy".
Well Sifuphil me and you are "together" unless you forgot about last night. Oh..oh I'm sorry you were pasted out on my couch and I had my way with you.
I'd be interested in knowing how the OP is taking all this advice...
It's funny, but here on C-D Relationships friends are constantly giving other friends advice, in seemingly all areas of life. Most of the time it seems to go over well, but I'm wondering if it's because we're indeed only friends and not in a relationship with each other (my apologies to anyone who is ).
And in keeping up the mad tradition of this forum, I'll throw in my 2 centavos and say "Lose this guy".
Well, the OP was from last July, so hopefully the issue has been resolved by now.
However, I will also chip in my 2 cents.
I absolutely can't stand it when someone tries to change something about me.
I broke up with my last boyfriend and as soon as I did, he proceeded to tell me all the things that he found "wrong" with me. Um, hello, I broke up with you and I'm not giving you a list of "faults" so shut the eff up about what you think I should change about myself. One thing he told me was that I was too critical of myself and should change that. He said this because I had expressed to his 250 pound self that I wanted to lose about 20 pounds. I guess because he is so much more overweight, he didn't want a skinny girlfriend Who knows? He listed a couple other "flaws" of mine after that, and then proceeded to get all miserable and mopey and ask me what went wrong, and couldn't we work things out. Um, after you told me everything that was "wrong" with me, you want to get back together?
I've had other friends try to convince me that it's OK to text and drive , that it's OK to drink and drive , that I should jump out of a perfectly good airplane , that I should enjoy rollerblading (I just don't, so sue me) that Hillary Clinton is the best thing to happen to this country , that I should stop caring about certain people , and that I should eat a snail at least once (vomit emoticon here), and a host of other things on which I will not agree.
Well Sifuphil me and you are "together" unless you forgot about last night. Oh..oh I'm sorry you were pasted out on my couch and I had my way with you.
Well, I thought it would be a nice change from the lime-green ones.
See? Change DOES happen to people!
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).
One thing he told me was that I was too critical of myself and should change that. He said this because I had expressed to his 250 pound self that I wanted to lose about 20 pounds. I guess because he is so much more overweight, he didn't want a skinny girlfriend 
Who knows? He listed a couple other "flaws" of mine after that, and then proceeded to get all miserable and mopey and ask me what went wrong, and couldn't we work things out. Um, after you told me everything that was "wrong" with me, you want to get back together? 
, that it's OK to drink and drive 
, that I should jump out of a perfectly good airplane 
, that I should enjoy rollerblading (I just don't, so sue me) 
that Hillary Clinton is the best thing to happen to this country 
