Females. . .hypothetical situation - do you go out with him? (woman, pickup)
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A friend of my family recently went through something like this. She started dating this guy......he is a police officer living in New Jersey......on disability right now so not working. Long story short after several phone conversations she decided to go out with him. When the check came for dinner he wanted to go dutch!! We advised her to run hard, run fast, run deep.......the key word here is run!
Well she didn't run.....she decided to go out on another date with him. This time she let him drive to Manhattan where she lives and pick her up.......they decided to go back to New Jersey to his apartment and hang out there. Things were going well until he went to drive her back home.......the police stopped him and guess what? His license and registration on his car were expired because he had a bunch of unpaid tickets on his car.....he was lucky not to be arrested. She finally made it home.........he calls her complaining that he does not have the money to pay the fine that the police officer gave him when he was stopped........she listened to his complaints.............the next day when they got on the phone again he told her that he was surprised that she did not offer to help him pay his bills considering that he was driving her home at the time when the police stopped him!! I think you all know how this ended......she told him she will never bother with him on a dating level again.
Come to find out.......someone in her family that knows this guy told her that he is used to women spending money and helping to take care of him. So the moral of the story is that women should lift up their standards and when a man tells them from the beginning who he really is do not just ignore it and get involved with him anyway.....that is a big mistake with lifelong consequences. Women have a tendancy to believe that a good woman can change a man.....she should not fall into this trap.......people do not change unless they want to change.
Did someone say CREDIT CHECK! I am sorry but I am a believer that people should be on equal ground if they have decided to date eachother.......it cuts down on a lot of problems down the road.
Wow, you are going to make some guy very happy some day...as long as he has credit over 720. Pathetic...
I have great credit, but if I met a great girl and I fell for her, I couldn't give a **** less what her credit was. Isn't life a bit short to be so shallow?
Wow, you are going to make some guy very happy some day...as long as he has credit over 720. Pathetic...
I have great credit, but if I met a great girl and I fell for her, I couldn't give a **** less what her credit was. Isn't life a bit short to be so shallow?
If you are going to respond to peoples opinion.....learn some respect!
You are entitled to your opinion and I am entitled to mine PERIOD!
Having nothing to do with love and as shallow as it may be, you are correct. Right or wrong, you are entitled to your opinion.
It is not shallow to call a fact of life a fact of life. I have seen this scenario over and over again with women who have their life together and decided to get involved with men (thinking with their hearts) whose lives were a disaster. Now some of them have been in those relationships for years......they have made progress in their careers.......they are ready to move forward get married, have children and purchase a home together. Oh but wait a minute.......fiance's credit is bad so now they can't buy the house together.........or she saw signs at the beginning of the relationship that he is irresponsible when it comes to paying bills........or better yet he is struggling because he does not keep a job!!
Not shallow to recognize these isssues up front and decide not to get involved. Saves the woman from wasting time. It is no different then when men get on here and say they will not date a woman that has kids.....their preference, their right to do what they are happy with and as a woman can't say I blame them either!
Wow, you are going to make some guy very happy some day...as long as he has credit over 720. Pathetic...
I have great credit, but if I met a great girl and I fell for her, I couldn't give a **** less what her credit was. Isn't life a bit short to be so shallow?
You're a man, and traditionally, within a marriage, the husband is the one that works and is the main breadwinner in the family. It's always been acceptable for the wife to stay at home, be jobless and raise their kids. You as a man have a different mindset than we do.
As women, even though as modern women now work fulltime, we'd still like a mate that is at least our equal in the job earnings aspect. Both partners having good income can have a great quality of life together. And why didn't this guy have any career ambitions? I don't see anywhere that he has any regrets about the way he is living. Also, at the age of 39, neither him nor the O.P.'s friend are exactly spring chickens and at the beginnings of their adult lives. If this guy were still in his 20's, this could be a different situation. But no, he's a middle-aged man with no assets to his name. So unless this 39 year old has a solid plan on how to turn his life around and stop living paycheck to paycheck in his trailer home, he's lousy boyfriend material for most any woman that meets him.
Plus even though his desire to pay for the date is laudable, in the long run, it's only going to compromise the kind of dates he and the O.P. can go on. They will be limited to what he can spare from his meager weekly paycheck. And I hope that this isn't some ploy to make the O.P.'s friend feel guilty and more sympathetic to his financial situation than he deserves, and then for her to start buying things for him.
You're a man, and traditionally, within a marriage, the husband is the one that works and is the main breadwinner in the family. It's always been acceptable for the wife to stay at home, be jobless and raise their kids. You as a man have a different mindset than we do.
As women, even though as modern women now work fulltime, we'd still like a mate that is at least our equal in the job earnings aspect. Both partners having good income can have a great quality of life together. And why didn't this guy have any career ambitions? I don't see anywhere that he has any regrets about the way he is living. Also, at the age of 39, neither him nor the O.P.'s friend are exactly spring chickens and at the beginnings of their adult lives. If this guy were still in his 20's, this could be a different situation. But no, he's a middle-aged man with no assets to his name. So unless this 39 year old has a solid plan on how to turn his life around and stop living paycheck to paycheck in his trailer home, he's lousy boyfriend material for most any woman that meets him.
Plus even though his desire to pay for the date is laudable, in the long run, it's only going to compromise the kind of dates he and the O.P. can go on. They will be limited to what he can spare from his meager weekly paycheck. And I hope that this isn't some ploy to make the O.P.'s friend feel guilty and more sympathetic to his financial situation than he deserves, and then for her to start buying things for him.
That is exactly right it is the man's responsibility to be the breadwinner. How can the man be the breadwinner in a relationship with the woman.......when it sounds like he is barely hanging on and taking care of himself? If this man is almost 40 years old and has not gotten his act together by now.......he never will! It does not take 20 years (age 20-40) for a man that is serious about his life to get it together. This is the reason this society has so many problems. Women have gone to work and in many cases are surpassing men in their careers and now men do not want to accept their role anymore.
I'm surprised so many people are against this man especially considering the current ecomonic climate with so many losing their jobs and homes.
Does she know anything about his recent history? Just because he's here now doesn't mean he always has been and always will be.
This is a possibility worth exploring, but the initial post didn't give me the impression the situation is a temporary setback. Perhaps Jeep can shed some light on it, provided she knows.
Hypothetical situation/question. Does not relate to me in any way. Just curious on your thoughts because a friend of mine encountered a situation similar to this recently.
A man the age of 39 years old is interested in you. You work hard and are financially stable and have a nice place. The man works but is not as financially stable - lives in a trailer home
I have no problem being the breadwinner. I know of several women who are, and they are in happy relationships. I disagree that it is a man's "role" to earn more money. If a guy's ego can't handle it when a woman is successful that is his problem. Most men have no problem dating a woman who earns much less, but a lot of women seem to get quite uptight if the situation is reversed.
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I think you all know how this ended......she told him she will never bother with him on a dating level again.
