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Like others have said, she likely met someone or renewed a relationship at camp. This person may be closer to or going to the same college or the relationship opened her eyes to the fact that she'll have opportunities at college that she'll regret either passing them up or in pursuing them behind your back. She's likely debating a sure thing (you), versus all the possibilities that will be available.
From your standpoint, if she decides to stick with you for now, be aware that what's happening now will likely reoccur while she's at college.
I will add that you sound like you entered this early-relationship stage of infatuation, then she left town, and you never could get past that infatuation. Usually, you get to a point within a month or two of dating, where that infatuation wears off and you start to notice her flaws. I don't think you ever reached that point.
I held back from reaching her hoping that she would contact me either yesterday (when she returned) or today. Well, no texts or phone calls.
I've been struggling with what to do for a week and finally I said *** it. I did nothing to harm her and nobody deserves to be left hanging like I did.
Soooo I called about 10 minutes ago and there was no answer. I left the following message. It's as close to what I remember saying.
"Hey, It's Jack
Time for an awkward message.
I really tried to ignore what's happened and just let it go but I honestly can't. I'm calling to let you know how disappointed i am with how how things turned out.
I thought of you as an honorable and mature person and never would have imagined you would leave me hanging like this. Seven and a half weeks I waited for you and you pretend I don't exist, it's really hurtful. I'm not calling to ask why or what happened. You lost feelings for me and you have your reasons. I get it, that happens and people move on. I just wish you would have been up front with me and let me know that's all. There was no reason to avoid and ignore me. Cya."
Literally 30 seconds after I had hung up she replied with a text saying "I'm in the car, I'll call you back as soon as I get home"
I told her she should listen to my message before she calls lol...
andddd another 2 texts just flew in.
"That's not how I feel at all. We obviously need to talk but I'm stuck in traffic on the 400. Can i call when I get home?" [/SIZE]
This will be an interesting conversation. Wish me luck.
PS: I bought tix beforehand to see a RedSox/Jays game and a t-shirt jersey for her as a welcome home gift. Just today I ended up inviting another female friend which I've just re-aquainted with since high school because I accepted the relationship with camp girl to be over.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zwick wait for her to contact me?
Yes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zwick And what if she doesn't? What then?
Move on.
Odds are high she's lost or losing interest in you. Your continued contact will only push her further away.
I think that about sums it up right there..
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Thing is, at 20, the typical woman isn't mature enough to handle things very well like that, much less carry on a long term relationship.
Nobody knows but her what she's thinking, so we could spend all day guessing, but we know what you're thinking, and I think the Jagman said it best right there.
I know you really like this girl, and don't believe in the whole fishing thing, but man, you'll start to see it soon enough - there ARE other fish in the sea. Or better put, there's more shirts to try on.
My old man once told me this story when I was all down because of some chick. He said, finding the right person in life is kinda like buying the perfect shirt. You go to a department store, look around for awhile, then you find a shirt you like. So, you pick it up, carry it around, and then try it on. Maybe it fits, maybe it doesn't. If it doesn't fit, you put it back and find another shirt. Eventually, you'll find one that fits.. but then, you don't like the color, or it doesn't look right on you, or whatever.. So, you take it and hang it back up. Maybe it's poor quality, but you really like the shirt.. So, still, eventually, you put it back because no matter how much you want it to last, it just won't.
But, one day you go in to a story, and hanging right there is that perfect shirt. It's the right color, right style, right fit, and it's quality is better than anything you've ever seen. You buy it... 50 years later, that shirt's still in your drawer simply because it's your favorite.
Thing is, this chick has flaws that you haven't noticed yet, and some that you have noticed. Sure, there are some flaws that you can live with, but for her not to communicate really at all, that's a pretty major flaw - and it'll only get worse with time.
Dude, time to hang up that shirt and keep shopping.
Sorry dude, I didn't see this here, only got through the first page..
I really hope it all works out for you, but at the same time, I'd still be concerned..
Either way, it sounds like ya have a great attitude about things, and man, that's just awesome..
Let us know what happens...
It's all good. There is a lot to read.
I'm meething her for lunch today to talk in person. I honestly don't know what to do. I just have to see her and look into her eyes. I'll know then if I can trust her or not.
I'm meething her for lunch today to talk in person. I honestly don't know what to do. I just have to see her and look into her eyes. I'll know then if I can trust her or not.
Realistically, your relationship is going to continue being difficult for you to be in. It started at the beginning of the summer while she was home from college. Even if she didn't cheat on you emotionally while at camp, you both are still a five hour drive away from each other while she is in school. Long distance relationships are tough for everyone, but harder during the college years with so much temptation around her. All those parties and single people... and you five hours away only able to keep her company with texting or phone calls.
Have you thought about moving to where she goes to school? Is there work in the area up there for you?
Realistically, your relationship is going to continue being difficult for you to be in. It started at the beginning of the summer while she was home from college. Even if she didn't cheat on you emotionally while at camp, you both are still a five hour drive away from each other while she is in school. Long distance relationships are tough for everyone, but harder during the college years with so much temptation around her. All those parties and single people... and you five hours away only able to keep her company with texting or phone calls.
Have you thought about moving to where she goes to school? Is there work in the area up there for you?
Finding temporary placement out there is not an option.
I'm being a pollyanna and know it. My head tells me to break it off today but my heart says give it a try. I've run all the scenarios threw my head of how it can go terribly wrong with her gone but at the same time I've run all the scenarios of how it can go right and the ladder feels so much stronger.
Agh!
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