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a man to take charge? In your honest opinion, ladies...what do you think?
it is time for all men to step up wake up and take their place as God intended for them to.be the gead of the household and see their family through hard times be a present father instead of a dead beat dad.show some leadership strength,endurance,resposibility.Step Up begore the womens Show YOu UP
I have no problem being decisive, but why can't women be just as decisive and take charge? Personally, I find it very attractive when a woman knows what she wants and goes after it.
Agreed. If we are in this together, there should be no need to defer to me or ask me before every action. If what you need to do has an established pattern, I'd be more pleased if you did it than wait and take no action.
Maybe in a new, unfamiliar situation it might call for it.
Is this really a surprise that women want a man to be in charge? Isn't this the way we are set up biologically? Grant it there are differences in understanding what this means to your relationship...some people seem to think "take charge" means "control"; it's more about being decisive. With that being said, my SO and MYSELF are both "take charge" kind of people, and both very logical and rational and communicative, so there aren't any fights about who take charge, and sometimes it definately is a joint effort.
a man to take charge? In your honest opinion, ladies...what do you think?
To take charge of what? I want him to take charge of buying his personal things and maintaining our firewall. I don't want him making my medical decisions, picking out my clothes or ordering for me in a restaurant (unless I ask him). What exactly do you by "taking charge"?
In general, balance of power and respect is always a factor in any relationship. If you want to assume the role of a child, prepare to be treated like a child. If you want to assume the role of a child sometimes, prepare to be treated like a child sometimes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lol_Stacey
Is this really a surprise that women want a man to be in charge? Isn't this the way we are set up biologically?
Actually, no. That's the way we are set up culturally. Evo psych is a pseudo science that attempts to justify culture (read: sexism) through scientific-sounding mumbo-jumbo. In fact, however, there is absolutely no scientific evidence that women are "biologically set up" to take orders, or that men are "biologically set up" to give them. None.
The problem is that people have differing notions of what taking charge means. For example, if I'm on a dinner date and I order for her, I'm taking charge. But how many women would stand for that? Likewise, if my girlfriend and I want to go out to dinner and instead of asking her what kind of food she's in the mood for, I just pick a place on my own, is that necessarily a good thing? Sure I'm being decisive, but wouldn't most women like it if a guy actually took her wishes into consideration before making a decision?
The problem is that people have differing notions of what taking charge means.
I asked the OP to clarify, but I sense what most women who claim they want men to "take charge" really want is to be absolved of ordinary grown-up responsibilities, like making tough decisions, dealing with difficult people (car salesmen?), earning a living. It's not that they necessarily want to have nothing to do with those things -- they just want them to be optional, not mandatory. In other words, one partner in the marriage has the obligation to support the family, the other has the option to contribute -- and the option not to. It is a position that's culturally constructed and justified by "tradition", but many women forget that traditionally, women's freedom from certain responsibilities came at the onerous cost of being deprived of certain important rights -- and that basically, you can't have your cake and eat it too. It's not fair to men, and it's not a realistic expectation in a relationship, anyway.
I asked the OP to clarify, but I sense what most women who claim they want men to "take charge" really want is to be absolved of ordinary grown-up responsibilities, like making tough decisions, dealing with difficult people (car salesmen?), earning a living. It's not that they necessarily want to have nothing to do with those things -- they just want them to be optional, not mandatory. In other words, one partner in the marriage has the obligation to support the family, the other has the option to contribute -- and the option not to. It is a position that's culturally constructed and justified by "tradition", but many women forget that traditionally, women's freedom from certain responsibilities came at the onerous cost of being deprived of certain important rights -- and that basically, you can't have your cake and eat it too. It's not fair to men, and it's not a realistic expectation in a relationship, anyway.
I think I get what you are saying. Let me know if this example is along your train of thought: My girlfriend told me as we are driving that she wants me to handle car related issues between us. To me, it sounds like she wants nothing to do with the cars, although she's the exclusive driver of one of them. I told her that that's fine, but I expect that she will learn what's wrong with the car and then learn how to prevent the situation in the future, and not be ignorant of the subject and repeat the same preventable actions, arriving in the same spot each time, causing us both time and money. I'll gladly take the lead, but I won't stand for her to sit back and have no contribution or benefit from situations.
I'm a big proponent of both in the relationship having the ability to do, to an extent. I might be the better money manager, but she should have the ability to write checks. She might be the better cook, but I should have the ability to put something edible together in the event she's down or away. (Notice I didn't say go grab take out- not saying that won't ever be the case, but it shouldn't be the rule or expectation). We both have abilities that may top the other, but the other is willing to learn or do something about their deficiency so that we both aren't surffering.
I would love for my bf to take charge. I'd love for him to take out the garbage without me telling him to. Boy that would make me sooooooooooooo hot
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