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I was in a loving, 6 month relationship that ended a little over 2 months ago. I was devestated at first, since it was my first relationship and he was my first love. It really hurt, especially knowing that nothing was wrong in the relationship, we loved each other, just that we had to end things due to outside circumstances that neither of us could control.
The first couple of weeks after the break-up I was devestated, I couldn't stop cyring and thinking about him. I missed him terribly. The break-up was amicable, everything ended in good terms, and he insisted we remain friends, even though he never did contact me after that.
The weeks passed and I began to heal. 2 months later I feel so much better, I think I'm completely over him as I don't cry anymore when I look at his pictures or listen to songs that remind me of him. It also helped that we had no contact at all, otherwise it probably would've been really hard to get over him.
So, now, almost 3 months later, he texts me to tell me he just got back from his vacation and wanted to know how I was. I wasn't expecting him to contact me at all and was excited to see his text. I replied the next day with a short text, letting him know I was fine. We texted back and forth for a while just talking about what's been up. And then...he said it...he asked if we could meet up for coffee just to catch up. A million thoughts ran through my head. Now that I am finally over him, should I really agree to see him? If I said no, he'd probably think I wasn't over him. I know he's completely over me and there's NO chance of reconciliation, we would just be friends now. But I don't know if seeing him again will bring back old feelings. I think I'm over him, but I'm a very weak person and maybe having him so close again and talking to him and being reminded of how wonderful a person he is will make my feelings come back. Or maybe I will feel like I feel right now, which is indifference. I want to be at that point where I can see him as only a friend.
I don't know what I should do. Should I? Keep in mind that we will be seeing a lot of each other since we go to school together, so I don't want things to be awkward between us. I actually already replied that I guess we could meet up, so I'm just waiting for him to tell me when. Anybody else experience something similar?
If I were you I wouldn't. If you were confident that you wouldn't feel any longing or regret that would be different but since you aren't sure I wouldn't risk falling back into the vortex just yet.
I was in a loving, 6 month relationship that ended a little over 2 months ago. I was devestated at first, since it was my first relationship and he was my first love. It really hurt, especially knowing that nothing was wrong in the relationship, we loved each other, just that we had to end things due to outside circumstances that neither of us could control.
The first couple of weeks after the break-up I was devestated, I couldn't stop cyring and thinking about him. I missed him terribly. The break-up was amicable, everything ended in good terms, and he insisted we remain friends, even though he never did contact me after that.
The weeks passed and I began to heal. 2 months later I feel so much better, I think I'm completely over him as I don't cry anymore when I look at his pictures or listen to songs that remind me of him. It also helped that we had no contact at all, otherwise it probably would've been really hard to get over him.
So, now, almost 3 months later, he texts me to tell me he just got back from his vacation and wanted to know how I was. I wasn't expecting him to contact me at all and was excited to see his text. I replied the next day with a short text, letting him know I was fine. We texted back and forth for a while just talking about what's been up. And then...he said it...he asked if we could meet up for coffee just to catch up. A million thoughts ran through my head. Now that I am finally over him, should I really agree to see him? If I said no, he'd probably think I wasn't over him. I know he's completely over me and there's NO chance of reconciliation, we would just be friends now. But I don't know if seeing him again will bring back old feelings. I think I'm over him, but I'm a very weak person and maybe having him so close again and talking to him and being reminded of how wonderful a person he is will make my feelings come back. Or maybe I will feel like I feel right now, which is indifference. I want to be at that point where I can see him as only a friend.
I don't know what I should do. Should I? Keep in mind that we will be seeing a lot of each other since we go to school together, so I don't want things to be awkward between us. I actually already replied that I guess we could meet up, so I'm just waiting for him to tell me when. Anybody else experience something similar?
I wouldn't advise seeing him - 3 months is not long enough, your feelings will all come rushing back and you'll be back at square one. Besides, if you broke up for good reasons, and those reasons still exist, what is to be gained by taking this chance? Don't fool yourself that you can be "just friends" - I'm betting you can't, not yet anyway.
If I were you I wouldn't. If you were confident that you wouldn't feel any longing or regret that would be different but since you aren't sure I wouldn't risk falling back into the vortex just yet.
I think you're right. I took really long to reply to him because I wasn't sure. I thought exactly what you thought, yet, I didn't know how to nicely say no. I don't want him to think I'm not over him. So I told him we could meet up, just to let me know when. He said he would. What should I do now? Make up some excuse?
I wouldn't advise seeing him - 3 months is not long enough, your feelings will all come rushing back and you'll be back at square one. Besides, if you broke up for good reasons, and those reasons still exist, what is to be gained by taking this chance? Don't fool yourself that you can be "just friends" - I'm betting you can't, not yet anyway.
This is exactly what I don't want to happen, to go back to square one. It was a horrible time for me and I don't want to experience that again. Maybe I'm not 100% over him, but I'm getting there. You're right I guess, unless I'm 100% over him I don't think I'll be able to handle being just friends.
First thing you'll need to do is stop caring what he thinks. He is completely irrelevant. You and he don't make joint decisions. You make decisions that benefit you. I would tell him it would be weird to see him. Frankly if he's so silly as to think he has some power over you at a time when your heart is bleeding, he is an arrogant, parasitical jerk and not your friend. If that's the case I would not deal with him again because he wants to see you in pain.
I was in the same situation a couple of years ago. Except my relationship lasted over a year and we had been split for 6 years when he contacted me out of the blue and wanted to meet.
Not a good idea. Believe me. It is like re-opening a wound.
Do yourself a favor and pass on this. Reading the OP you sound a bit fragile. It sounds like you are making good progress and have a healthy view on the relationship and it's break up. I suggest you keep it that way. Don't have any more contact with him. It could only hurt you and you have nothing to gain.
Move forward!
stay away, phone calls okay maybe , text okay. no cups of coffee, lunches or dinners. I really don't think that you get over a person, 3 months is not long enough. I wouldn't do it.
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