Lovability factor so high that it makes the world revolve around you - is there any way to counterbalance that? (boyfriends, girlfriend)
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I have a woman friend who is incredibly beautiful, the sort of beauty that any man covets (5.9 ft tall, of which most is leg length, very nice breasts, shiny long blonde hair, very dark blue eyes, nice smile, good taste in clothes etc). In fact, when all of us go out, all heads turn after her and one can witness how every man in the room who has some balls makes at least one attempt to talk to her. In addition, she is a happy person and a nice companion to spend time with, but I am sure that even if she was not, men would still be so crazy to get her attention. I would say that she has a very high lovability factor, she is aware of it and enjoying all the attention in a very positive way.
Yesterday when we were planning on going out, one of the other girls in the group asked whether gorgeous girl would be coming and when I told her that she was, she decided to not come along 'why bother she said, it's going to be yet another night of Hollywood-like attention for you-know-whom'.
Somehow I understand what she's thinking. Although I have read what everybody here says about looks and female competition, I just want you to know that there are women who really have it all, are physically perfect, have nice personalities and make good conversationalists. That makes competition out-of-the question when around them. What then could be another woman's objective going to be when around a person like this ?
- to get some of the men that were turned down by her?
- to enjoy the attention of someone who is too shy to ask for her attention instead?
- to hope to meet a man who has low self-esteem and wouldn't want a perfect woman by his side?
The othe woman has the problem. She obviously does not have internal self esteem to realize that even though "super goddess" maybe attractive to most men, some men may not be attracted to her, maybe they like blondes, or a woman with a big bootie, who knows (?). While her point maybe valid, it seems to me that she is jealous, and does not realize her own merits.
Interesting question. I know a woman like this. She's a good family friend. She was an actress. I won't say her name or what she was on but if you watched any sitcoms in the 80s you've seen her.
She is beautiful and also has a beautiful personality. She has a way of making everyone feel special. Now she is engaged to a Hollywood producer, but I always enjoy spending time with her. I take my boyfriends along to her house whenever invited and they are also taken in with her, but for some reason it doesn't make me feel jealous or insecure. I admire her too and can understand why anyone would. I see her as an idol and someone I would like to be like, so I take that as inspiration to improve myself.
The othe woman has the problem. She obviously does not have internal self esteem to realize that even though "super goddess" maybe attractive to most men, some men may not be attracted to her, maybe they like blondes, or a woman with a big bootie, who knows (?). While her point maybe valid, it seems to me that she is jealous, and does not realize her own merits.
This pretty much echos my thoughts as well. Anyone that would think this way, definitely is short in the self-esteem department. I'd love to be in the company of such a woman. Lots of opportunities to meet more people!
Self-esteem issues. Some women are threatened by beautiful women. I used to be very insecure when I was much younger, so I can understand. I just can't relate anymore. I love being in the company of beautiful people.
If I were single, it wouldn't bother me to hang with your gorgeous girlfriend as long as we both got along as friends. That's because when I was single, I never went out with friends hoping to for men to ask me out. Finding a boyfriend was not on the top of my going out agenda. In fact, when I was single, I really preferred that strange men not be coming up to me to ask me out. If I went to a rock music club, I was there to listen to the bands play and to see my friends. I really wasn't there to meet Mr. Right. In fact, I didn't want to meet my Mr. Right at a club at night. My boyfriends were all guys I met during the daytime hours, we liked doing the same things, and they were my friends first.
My reason for going out with my gorgeous friend that gets all the male attention? It is simple, really. I go out because I enjoy HER company, not the oodles of men that come her way.
Not all women go out with friends (even to bars and clubs) with the intention to meet a man. Some go to simply have a good time with her friends, no matter what kind of man-magnet they may be. If a woman will not go somewhere because she is worried of being "out-shined", she needs to go places other than bars to meet men.
She attracts a lot of men! Guess what, "perfection" and "taste" varies from man to man too! Let her attract the men and yes, snag the ones that prefer brunetts! ha ha
How about going out with her just to go out and have fun with her? Forget the guys! Maybe talk to her beforehand and make it clear that it is just a girl's night out and you are not really interested in chatting up random men. Maybe then she will get the hint, and bat away any men that try to hit on her.
Chances are she knows that she gets considerably more attention than the rest of you. Maybe you can just be up front about it. If she is a good person, and a good friend, there is no point in risking the friendship over this.
I kind of understand how you feel. When I was in middle school and high school I was a skinny twig. I had this friend that was absolutely gorgeous - exotic looking, curvy, the whole package. I felt pretty much invisible standing next to her. We stayed friends for a long time but eventually grew apart.
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