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A lot of times, men are better off financially before they get divorced. That should tell you something. They had kids to pay for before and after they got divorced. Yet the men were better off financially before they got divorced.
Very few people are better off financially after they divorce. No matter how bad it was, you'll always find there were things your spouse did that you now may have to pay someone to do -- whether it's to clean your house, or fix your car, or babysit the kids when you work late. The property you owned jointly gets split down the middle. Women's financial situation deteriorates after divorce as well, for the same reason -- except of course, for that magical and still-unnamed land where the laws of physics cease to exist and where $300 a month in child support buys you a mansion and a truckload of Louis Vuitton bags, while leaving the payor homeless.
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Sometimes the child support payments might be more money than what's actually needed. And the mother doesn't always use the child support on the kids.
You can always make the argument that the mother isn't using the money on the kids. After all, any amount of child support, no matter how small, makes her own financial situation easier. Even if your child support obligation is only $5 a month -- that's $5 that she would otherwise have to pay, but since you are paying it, she can go buy herself a cup of coffee. That's why people who complain about child support never say what they believe the proper amount is -- because to them, any amount of child support is too much. What they really want, is to pay nothing.
I don't know, but don't do me any favors. Why would a woman want to stay with a man she knows tells everyone he's unhappy, doesn't want to be with her...... I feel like if you love me, tell me in your actions and in your words. Love me.
I don't know, but don't do me any favors. Why would a woman want to stay with a man she knows tells everyone he's unhappy, doesn't want to be with her...... I feel like if you love me, tell me in your actions and in your words. Love me.
Don't you realize that this can be turned around? Why would a man want to stay with a woman with whom he is miserable? Look, there are lots of different reasons, both good and bad, why people stay in miserable marriages. But for you to suggest that because one spouse is miserable, the other has a moral obligation to file for divorce is puzzling to say the least. Why? So she can be labeled another one of those flighty women who divorce their husbands without a good reason?
Let's see, what else should she do? Walk away with a toothbrush and take the troublesome brats with her?
Don't you realize that this can be turned around? Why would a man want to stay with a woman with whom he is miserable? Look, there are lots of different reasons, both good and bad, why people stay in miserable marriages. But for you to suggest that because one spouse is miserable, the other has a moral obligation to file for divorce is puzzling to say the least. Why? So she can be labeled another one of those flighty women who divorce their husbands without a good reason?
Let's see, what else should she do? Walk away with a toothbrush and take the troublesome brats with her?
Yeah, but wasn't that the original question of why men stay? Let me go back & read. I thought the question was why do men stay was it because they really can't admit the love they had. I might have misunderstood.
Don't you realize that this can be turned around? Why would a man want to stay with a woman with whom he is miserable? Look, there are lots of different reasons, both good and bad, why people stay in miserable marriages. But for you to suggest that because one spouse is miserable, the other has a moral obligation to file for divorce is puzzling to say the least. Why? So she can be labeled another one of those flighty women who divorce their husbands without a good reason?
Let's see, what else should she do? Walk away with a toothbrush and take the troublesome brats with her?
Have you ever been in a loveless marriage? They are not fun.
Have you ever been in a loveless marriage? They are not fun.
I am not questioning the right of somebody who's in a loveless marriage to complain about it, or to leave -- or, indeed, to stay, depending on the circumstances. What I am questioning is your argument that, because the husband is unhappy in the marriage, it's the wife who should go ahead and file for divorce. I'm really curious as to your rationale for that argument.
stay in that marriage. I think men are afraid to admit how much they really adore their wives. I guess it's not manly to be able to say, "I can't stand her, but god help me if I ever have to live without her." any ideas?
Pretty easy answer...more nookie, or at the least an attempt to get more, from someone who takes pity on them
I am not questioning the right of somebody who's in a loveless marriage to complain about it, or to leave -- or, indeed, to stay, depending on the circumstances. What I am questioning is your argument that, because the husband is unhappy in the marriage, it's the wife who should go ahead and file for divorce. I'm really curious as to your rationale for that argument.
Hmmmm, what I said was, why would you want to stay. If your mate is going around telling everyone how miserable he is yada, yada, yada ( his / her actions most likly follow suit). Why would you want to stay?
WHAT I'M NOT SAYING IS LEAVE.
I WOULD NEVER TELL ANYONE TO LEAVE.
EVERYONE HAS TO MAKE THEIR OWN DECISIONS.
AND EVERY SITUATION DOESN'T MERRIT LEAVING.
If its worth it to you stay. If your happiness outshines your sadness stay. Whatever anybody does stay or leave, remain silent or complain is up to them. I was simply commenting on the post as I am not in a unhappy relationship nor am I unhappy, BUT I certainly sympathize to those who are and that's male & female.
I think when people complain about being miserable and can not divorce is not so much they cant, it is fear of the unknown and the fear of change. The only thing in life you can't get out of is death. I know quite a few women that are divorced and did not make out in court like some have said here. If any men on here totally got screwed in paying a butt load of alimony then let me know the name of your ex's lawyer and I will pass it on. My parents divorced in the 80's when I was a kid and it was relief. All they did was argue and to this day I still hate Christmas. Their worst fights were around the holidays. No one is doing their kids a favor by staying in a marriage that is miserable.
My mother got the house only because she wanted us kids to stay in the same school district. The house was not free. She had to make the payments and ended up working 2 jobs to do so. She tells me how lucky she is that my brother and I did not up in serious trouble as we had very low supervision, which is a problem in this country if people open their eyes. Lots of absent fathers and women leaving kids alone too much. My mother got a total of 50 dollars a week in child support for both my brother and I. That is not enough to feed 2 kids for a week. But if my mother got a new hairdo my father was convinced it was from his child support. When my brother turned 18, my Mom had to sell the house and share the profits with my father. She had made the payments all those years but he got half the equity. The house I bought was the same deal. The previous owner was divorced and when her child turned 18 the house had to be sold, she had to share the profits with her ex.
A lot of people in my neighborhood are divorced. I can only think of 2 kids that have "weekend dads". The rest have joint custody which is pretty much the norm now. If men are weekend dad's then they choose to be. My father never would have wanted joint custody. There are men like this. It is not socially acceptable to say "ya, I love my kids but only on a part time basis." So what they do is **** and moan that they got screwed over by the ex. It is human nature to get bored with long term commitments. At some point in every marriage one or both would like to get out. Marriage is work and hard work can have great benefits. Marriage only becomes a prison if you let it.
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My parents divorced in the 80's when I was a kid and it was relief. All they did was argue and to this day I still hate Christmas. Their worst fights were around the holidays. No one is doing their kids a favor by staying in a marriage that is miserable.
