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I don't know why I even bother any more. I try to be a fair person but I am finally convinced some people just do not get it!
I went over to my gf's place so we can go out to a party. When I got there she was in her back yard and came in to open the door for me. She was almost ready but had a few things to do to get ready. As I come in to put my bags down she tells me she was just out back taking a smoke break chatting with the painter and gives me a very quick peck on the lips and rushes off to finish up getting ready. She says I'm running late let me finish up getting ready...
I got annoyed right away. It just seemed like she was acting a little weird about it. The painter was no where to be found and left from the back to the other side of the complex. I poked my head out the back porch just to see if I could see who it was. Yes I got jealous and was upset that she did not have time to give me a proper hug and greet me for more than 1 second, but yet had time to sit and chit chat with a painter for who knows how long right before I arrived! My issue is atleast spend ~30 seconds or so with me giving me a hug and kiss and talking to me, especially since she has not seen me in over a week! Made me feel like crap to say the least. I know for a fact if the roles were reversed she would be ticked off, and she has done it before. When I tried to talk to her about it later on she did not see it my way and said I just was mad before I even came in. That was not the case. I just would like a little courtesy.
Anyway I got in a mood and just grabbed a beer and tried and shake it off. But then she was ticked off at me thinking I came over with an attitude. Unfortunately, the mood was set for the evening and the rest of the night was down hill from there, but that's another thread.
WOW! Hmmm...is there a history of her cheating on you? Was anything even being painted?
If something had just been painted and there is no history of her cheating on you then you over-reacted just a bit. I mean she said sorry for running late and ran off to get ready probably so you didnt have to sit around and wait for her. Sounds like she was just trying to hurry for you, and was talking to the painter bc he was there painting and it would be rude to not greet him and have a small convo with him when he is doing a service for her.
Maybe next time when she goes to give you a quick kiss you should stop her and say "babe come here give me a hug and kiss, I miss you, take your time the party will be going on all night. I'm just excited to see you."
Thats what I think you should have done, instead of ruining the whole night.
On the reflex level, humans try to be their best and prettiest and flirtiest with a novelty. Yes, some try to consciously reverse that and work on paying attention to someone they see all the time.... But others don't even notice it. You can either bring it up to her attention, (and she has to agree to work on it), or just let it go, - some partners know that it's just an act, that their partner is not pining to actually cheat on them.
If there was a guy there painting, maybe she didn't feel comfortable going off to get ready (which would involved removing her clothes, showering, putting on new clothes, etc) while some guy was in or near the home. The conversation may have been a front for not wanting to leave him unattended.
I think you were more upset about her non-greeting than the mysterious painter....your 1 week apart had you feeling a bit insecure and you were in need of some comfort, TLC, attention, etc. Next time, YOU make the move to greet HER. No sense spoiling your night over something petty...especially after 7 days apart.
Does she have a history of cheating on you? If she really was doing something wrong, she would not have told you she was out back talking with the painter. She would have left it as out back smoking. She was in a hurry to get dressed and to the party on time, don't read it as not caring about not seeing you.
I think overreacted a little. BTW, nothing is more of a turn-off than an insecure, jealous man (not saying that you are). Just saying in general.
Hmm... High maintenance anyone? LOL to the OP, honestly, you are over-reacting. I'm sure whatever you thought was going on was not. You seriously got peeved because she was trying to rush to get ready and didn't give you the long kiss like you expected? Isn't this really about you not getting proper attention and you are peeved about that not about some missing in action painter?
Read your words out loud to yourself and then tell us how ridiculous it sounds. I mean that with lots of humor. Lighten up a bit.
No I agree, I think I did over react a bit. It was more that she did not take any time to greet me, but had time to sit and talk to some guy. She did say he has been there for 2 months painting so she has spoken to him before on several occasions. The painter was painting the condo and not her direct area, he was just out back while she took a break. It is insecurities and needing attention. Definately. She is the type to always pull away from a hug first, and not be too affectionate. It seems I am always making the effort to hug and kiss her and she's always pulling away first.
No I agree, I think I did over react a bit. It was more that she did not take any time to greet me, but had time to sit and talk to some guy. She did say he has been there for 2 months painting so she has spoken to him before on several occasions. The painter was painting the condo and not her direct area, he was just out back while she took a break. It is insecurities and needing attention. Definately. She is the type to always pull away from a hug first, and not be too affectionate. It seems I am always making the effort to hug and kiss her and she's always pulling away first.
Ok, there you go! You were honest, you realize you over reacted a bit and that's a huge thing. Not many people recognize this within themselves. Kudos! If you really feel like you are the one making the effort, sit her down and talk. Don't let it get to the point where it's an argument and don't be accusatory but rather, just talk. Be honest and tell her your feelings and find out if she even realizes she's doing what you claim she is. Good luck.
But if not, I would be leery of getting undressed and ready to go out with a strange man in my home. I can see where I might wait for you to arrive.
Anyway, it's worth talking about with her and find out for sure.
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WOW! Hmmm...is there a history of her cheating on you? Was anything even being painted? 
I mean that with lots of humor. Lighten up a bit.
