17 year age gap has become a problem for me after 5 years of dating (men, husband)
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As a man who just turned 43 I must say this thread bruises my ego and depresses me. I don't feel or act 43 in fact I am the same carefree horny boy I was at 21 all in all save some grey hairs popping up and a body not as fat free. I can't fathom seeing a 27 year old chick as old enough to be my "daughter" and her to view me as old enough to be dad I just can't fathom either.
Age wise I don't care if she is 25 or 50 it is her looks and personality that matter to me but if a 27 year old chick saw me as a a old man that just sucks.......
I guess it depends on the guy how he ages but like I said ego wise it bruises if to be turned down just because of a 10 or 11 year difference just friggin makes me feel like I might as well just start finding dates in a nursing home or something.
It shouldn't depress you. You got to be a carefree horny boy of 21, the OP didn't because she was in a relationship with someone much older the entire time.
Age wise I don't care if she is 25 or 50 it is her looks and personality that matter to me but if a 27 year old chick saw me as a a old man that just sucks.......
Notice how your age range goes from way younger than you (flatters the ego) to just a few years older than you (still basically compatible). But would you commit to spending the rest of your life -- not just date, but commit to spending the rest of your life -- with someone who is presently 61 years old? Because that's what the OP faces in the long term, and that's what she's finally starting to realize.
I guess it depends on the guy how he ages but like I said ego wise it bruises if to be turned down just because of a 10 or 11 year difference just friggin makes me feel like I might as well just start finding dates in a nursing home or something.
Geez... I DON'T see him as an old man. Please try to understand that the here and now, age wise, is ok with me. 44 is still ridiculously young... I am talking about 20 years from now. THAT'S my concern. When he is retired and I am in my prime, still working away for 17 years while he sits at home, and I go to work every day resenting him. Would you want a life like that??
When we met he pretty much looked exactly the same as he does now. He was (and still is) renting, has never owned a home and didn't even own a car. I didn't care though, I always loved him for the person he was, for his kind heart and wisdom. I am ashamed to admit that I don't think I have ever been physically attracted to him. It hurts to say that but I have to be honest with myself.
Someone told me recently that they thought I was recovering from the "Shining Knight Syndrome". I was going through a very painful breakup when we met and my childish ex was putting me through hell. He was the only one there for me when everyone else turned against me. I absolutely worshipped him. Do you think this is true??
It shouldn't depress you. You got to be a carefree horny boy of 21, the OP didn't because she was in a relationship with someone much older the entire time.
I have been in non-stop relationships since I was 17... always jumping from one to the next... I hate it. I wish so much that I had taken more time for me.
I have been in non-stop relationships since I was 17... always jumping from one to the next... I hate it. I wish so much that I had taken more time for me.
I have been in non-stop relationships since I was 17... always jumping from one to the next... I hate it. I wish so much that I had taken more time for me.
You sound just like my daughter, but she has only dated 4-5 years up from her age. I think she was single for a month or so when she was 16 but has gone from one relationship to another since.
Yes, I believe it was the "knight in shinning armor" thing, an escape from the turmoil of being the age you were. You feel what you feel now because you have matured and finally feel comfortable with yourself.
Notice how your age range goes from way younger than you (flatters the ego) to just a few years older than you (still basically compatible). But would you commit to spending the rest of your life -- not just date, but commit to spending the rest of your life -- with someone who is presently 61 years old? Because that's what the OP faces in the long term, and that's what she's finally starting to realize.
I've seen some women who in their mid 50's or even 60 are still hot because they look older but not like a granny or something. So yes given the right woman if she was 60 yes I would.
Geez... I DON'T see him as an old man. Please try to understand that the here and now, age wise, is ok with me. 44 is still ridiculously young... I am talking about 20 years from now. THAT'S my concern. When he is retired and I am in my prime, still working away for 17 years while he sits at home, and I go to work every day resenting him. Would you want a life like that??
When we met he pretty much looked exactly the same as he does now. He was (and still is) renting, has never owned a home and didn't even own a car. I didn't care though, I always loved him for the person he was, for his kind heart and wisdom. I am ashamed to admit that I don't think I have ever been physically attracted to him. It hurts to say that but I have to be honest with myself.
Someone told me recently that they thought I was recovering from the "Shining Knight Syndrome". I was going through a very painful breakup when we met and my childish ex was putting me through hell. He was the only one there for me when everyone else turned against me. I absolutely worshipped him. Do you think this is true??
Ok I understand what you say about thinking about the future but I never think about the future anyway I go for what is now. So I'm different that way plus unlike you I hardly ever commit anyway. But the fact that you said sex creeps you out now with him that makes it sound like you already view him as ugly because of age and that is what bruises my ego when I think about myself and my age.
What I say about myself doesn't really have anything to do with you and him I'm just confessing my ego. I at 40 can't fathom having a 30 year old female view me as over the hill and creepy to have sex with.....
You sound just like my daughter, but she has only dated 4-5 years up from her age. I think she was single for a month or so when she was 16 but has gone from one relationship to another since.
Yes, I believe it was the "knight in shinning armor" thing, an escape from the turmoil of being the age you were. You feel what you feel now because you have matured and finally feel comfortable with yourself.
That is just the "mom" in me talking.
Thanks for the advice, Ceece.
It's something that I have really come to regret. I don't ever want to find myself single and realise that I am one of those dependant women who has to have a man around at all times, and can't make it on her own. Who thinks that she is nothing without a man... I guess that's what I have seen myself as for the past 10 years, but finally I have realised that I don't need that, and that I would in fact love to be on my own for a while. I have never even owned a car because "WE" could never afford it. I always could, but we couldn't. My whole short life I have sacrified for others, it's no wonder I feel so bitter at such a young age..
But the fact that you said sex creeps you out now with him that makes it sound like you already view him as ugly because of age and that is what bruises my ego when I think about myself and my age.
Actually, the OP said, "I am ashamed to admit that I don't think I have ever been physically attracted to him. It hurts to say that but I have to be honest with myself."
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I can't fathom seeing a 27 year old chick as old enough to be my "daughter"
and her to view me as old enough to be dad I just can't fathom either.
