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Asking women and observing women tend to be very different things.
What I've mostly heard when asking is "it depends".
What I've observed is that blatant behaviours aside (panting, shoe-licking, overt sweating and/or drooling), the real difference lies in whether she's interested or not. The exact same behaviours from two different guys can be labeled "sweet" from one and "creepy" from the other.
Thank you!
For men who don't know, what women say is not the same as what they think or how they act.
Gotta go by their actions. That's their only truth.
As for creepyness, I'm sure there's a lot of dudes called creepy who are well deserving if they're doing something ridiculously weird. If they're old staring at young girls, then that warrants the label as well.
However, I've been told by a degree of separation that "so and so thought you were creepy" when all I did was try to engage in a friendly, light conversation, without any intentions of moving in on either a short term sexual or long term meaningful relationship.
What do I do as a man in this situation. I pity the woman who says I'm creepy, because if just a dude saying hi and making conversation instead of allowing awkward silence to settle is creepy, then I truly feel sorry for the woman who will probably be very alone for the rest of her life.
Simply saying a guy is "creepy" isn't any one particular thing for me. I will say one thing that gets me is someone that looks at you like a piece of meat, and gets way too close when they speak, or if they are very greasy looking.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Urban Sasquatch
Asking women and observing women tend to be very different things.
What I've mostly heard when asking is "it depends".
What I've observed is that blatant behaviours aside (panting, shoe-licking, overt sweating and/or drooling), the real difference lies in whether she's interested or not. The exact same behaviours from two different guys can be labeled "sweet" from one and "creepy" from the other.
I met a guy on the cruise ship when I was trying to ask for directions. He was in the hallway cleaning, and rather than answer me he just looked at me very approvingly as he spoke to his co-worker in another language. (I just rolled my eyes and stomped off) The second time I met him, I was also working there, and as I walked down the hallway he started singing. (I walked faster) The third time... I was the once flirting. So yes, you have a point there.
For me it is not the looks so much as the actual behavior from the men that makes certain ones creepy and others not. Specifically to me the creeps are the ones who gives off hints that they are aggressive/violent and in particular sexually aggressive/violent and believes rules (of any kind) routinely do not apply to them.
Some intimidating behaviors to me include people sitting themselves right beside you and trying to wedge themselves closer to you physically when we don't know each other, walking up to your face to "talk to you", trying to push your limits when you barely know each other, following you around and magically appearing in many places you happen to be in, using sex innuendos profusely, fixing their stares on you for extended period of time for no good reason etc.
If I were attracted to a guy physically, once he display any of the above that one-sided attraction will fizz out very fast. I think many people have the intuition to be able to tell whether certain behaviors stemmed truly from social awkwardness or really from predatory instincts :P
Last edited by lirevs; 11-27-2009 at 10:54 PM..
Reason: wording
It never seems to really be about their personality but looks the majority of the time
Ive seen women call guys creepy who seemed like normal guys approaching and talking to them then id aks the girl if its something said or did and she would say no he just seemed creepy
Ive never heard a girl call a good looking guy approaching her creepy and theyrs times the guy came off as a socially awkard creep..Hed probably have to ask to lick her shoes or soemthing for any creepy word to be used..
So ladies do you think sometimes you judge creepiness more by how the guy looks then actually creepy behavior?
I'm here to tell ya....some girls are turned off by creepy, good looking guys. To say that you've never heard a girl call a good looking guy creepy only says that you've never been around when it has happened. Simple as that :-)
Quote:
Originally Posted by WFW&P
I wouldn't worry about it too much as women are lousy judges of character, look at all the single moms.
So let's say that a woman is a single mom because her husband got into a car accident or died from a disease or injury. Does that mean she's a lousy judge of character? I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt in that you didn't mean to lump all single mothers into one category
I wouldn't worry about it too much as women are lousy judges of character, look at all the single moms.
Well then it's a wonder why we women don't just lump all men in to one giant creepy loser club. Because that's what it would take to avoid 100% being a single mom, NOT taking the chance EVER that the one we chose isn't a creepy loser. Get what I'm saying?
If women were to operationalize the concept of "creepy," I think it would include shyness and awkward timing. The autonomic nervous system, when it creates the fight or flight response in men, especially those men who are inexperienced at approaching, can be sensed as a contradiction. That is, this guy seems dishonest. In a way he is being dishonest with himself. He's trying to be perceived as charming. confident, ectera when he's scared to death. He does not want to face the possible consequences of approaching a total stranger. If she's beautiful, the fear may double. He may feel like he's approaching a Goliath, which in some ways beautiful women are Goliaths. He may need to look for a moment when he has an entry point--making himself creep/lurk around. I feel for this type of men. His inexperience is because he lacks self-awareness and power. For example, he might not have the access points that other men have--such as a nice car or position with money. Women have a system, which is ever evolving, to weed out men who be inequipped to care for offspring.
So let's say that a woman is a single mom because her husband got into a car accident or died from a disease or injury. Does that mean she's a lousy judge of character? I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt in that you didn't mean to lump all single mothers into one category
You, as well as everyone, knew what he meant by "single moms". The % of women who are actually in the situation where the father passed away is very low compared to the women who slept with the wrong guy, who only used them for sex, and has now abandoned the woman with the child and(or maybe doesn't) pay for child support.
This is either because men are so damn clever to convince a woman to have sex when they have no intention of a relationship or because the women are just terrible judge of character. Let's face it, if women really did want a nice guy that treated them well, there wouldn't be so many of them single right now.
I'm going to guess with all the male bashing by women as well as in the media, women won't agree that men are so genius as to fool so many women into these single mom situations. I'm just going to assume women will agree that they're a terrible judge in character, it's ok, you don't even have to say it. I'll spare you the embarrassment.
I'm going to guess with all the male bashing by women as well as in the media, women won't agree that men are so genius as to fool so many women into these single mom situations. I'm just going to assume women will agree that they're a terrible judge in character, it's ok, you don't even have to say it. I'll spare you the embarrassment.
You are using the term "women" generally. Single moms that slept with the wrong guy cannot be generalized onto all women. Stastically, a large portion of women that end up in these situations tend to be young, poor and uneducated. Those three factors probably play a larger role in judgement, than gender.
I'm like a candy dish with a lid. You may walk right by and not even know there is some sweet stuff in there. The jar is creepy but the contents are great!!!
Anyways, I won't be labeled by the person who passes me by. Who cares what they think. Seriously.
If you take the time to know me you would find I am alot different from what you first thought of me. TOTALLY different.
Like a sweet tart. Man...those things will make your face go crazy. Then after a while you notice that sweet side and it's great!
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So yes, you have a point there. 
