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I know so many people that are divorced with kids, they meet new boyfriends/girlfriends and immediately after that start ignoring their kids. One of my friends, was single without a man for like 3 years, for all these 3 years, she hated her ex, she hated her kids to go over to visit him. She hated them even talking about him, she felt betrayed when they would talk about him or go with him to vacation. Recently though, she met a guy, they been dating for like a month and a half and now every oppurtunity she has she dumps the kids at their dads, this is the same guy that she was always saying how bad of a dad he was blah blah, but now that she has a man, she dont really care if their over there w him! Im nobody to judge, but i think thats pretty messed up, but i see it happen everyday!
I have seen this scenario of a "super mom" who then gets dumped by hubby and starts to think she needs to make up for lost time and forgets the kids still need her. Desperation? I don't know but it seems to happen alot.
Yup, i seen that, one of our friedns was supermom, while married, but now that shes single, basically the grandma has become the kids mom, and their mom is just a lady they see once in a while!
I went out a couple times with a divorced guy with shared custody of his child. The weekend after our first get together was a weekend with his son and wanted to go to the movies and wanted me to join them. I went only because I wanted to reinforce I didn't have an issue that he had children, but the way he ignored him bothered the hell out of me and I got a tad bit icy and quiet.
While I have absolutely nothing wrong with divorced men with children I thought it was highly inappropriate to have a 'second date' with and during the time that should be devoted to your child. He didn't quite understand that. Being that I had been in that kids shoes one time in my life I had empathy for his situation and instead of kudos for being considerate - well, I'll let you conclude how that went over with this guy.
I know so many people that are divorced with kids, they meet new boyfriends/girlfriends and immediately after that start ignoring their kids. One of my friends, was single without a man for like 3 years, for all these 3 years, she hated her ex, she hated her kids to go over to visit him. She hated them even talking about him, she felt betrayed when they would talk about him or go with him to vacation. Recently though, she met a guy, they been dating for like a month and a half and now every oppurtunity she has she dumps the kids at their dads, this is the same guy that she was always saying how bad of a dad he was blah blah, but now that she has a man, she dont really care if their over there w him! Im nobody to judge, but i think thats pretty messed up, but i see it happen everyday!
It's selfish behavior. Your kids come first. I'm not saying single parents/divorced people should not date but have your priorities in order BEFORE doing so.
I have read enough in this forum that should make any parent shield their children at all costs from their dating lives until the appropriate time.
Recently though, she met a guy, they been dating for like a month and a half and now every oppurtunity she has she dumps the kids at their dads, this is the same guy that she was always saying how bad of a dad he was blah blah, but now that she has a man, she dont really care if their over there w him! Im nobody to judge, but i think thats pretty messed up, but i see it happen everyday!
Well! Didncha know? The rules change once mommy gets a mayun!
Your children should be your top and major priority over all else. Just my two cents.
I used to think that too. But in a sense its like the old argument about if you're in a plane and it's starts to crash, the oxygen masks drop, who's do you put on first, you or your children. Most people's gut reaction would be to make sure the kids are taken care of first.
But..
If you make sure yours in in place and secure, you'd be better off to make sure that the kids are safe during and after the plane accident.
Your children should be your top and major priority over all else. Just my two cents.
i don't agree with that 100%. When they are toddlers they need more attention yes, but they should not be over all else. Parents raise kids to prepare them for the future, for their own lives. Kids grow up, they move out, they start their own family. If your child is your top and major priority over all else you might find yourself alone and lonely when the kids move on. you might also turn into one of those parents that never let go.
Thats why i think parents owe it to themselves to still have date nights with each other even after they have kids. You can't expect to have a happy marriage when you and the spouse do not keep other as the priority. This does not mean neglect the kids.
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