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I vote for
1) seeing an attorney to learn about your rights.
2) Don't complain about his not attending anything, but
document, document, document,
so that you know what you're talking about when the time comes to profile the kind of father he has been up to now...not really abusive, but definitely negligent.
Sounds like 'dad' is a stranger, even to you. I would NEVER let my child (no matter what the age) stay with a man I didn't know. 'Dad' should understand that precaution, until he earns a better bond with each of you.
Good luck, and don't forget to pray. MsV
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