Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It can sure take a long time to see all sides to people....Have you noticed this? This applies to friends as well as to dating partners and potential mates...Everyone tends to put their best foot forward at the beginning of any relationship...This is just human nature. Have you run into people who seemed really different after you got to know them better? I sure have....
It can sure take a long time to see all sides to people....Have you noticed this? This applies to friends as well as to dating partners and potential mates...Everyone tends to put their best foot forward at the beginning of any relationship...This is just human nature. Have you run into people who seemed really different after you got to know them better? I sure have....
To be sure! I married her 41 years ago. Thankfully, I divorced her 16 years ago.
I have friends that the first 6 months of our friendship, I absolutely adored them. We would have the best of times together and our conversations were so open and interactive.
Then, I would start to see traits in them that I absolutely could not stand. Of course, what was I to do? We already had an established friendship! I couldn't just dump them right out of the blue for no apparent reason.
For example, friend X turned out to be such a hypocritical, shallow, two-faced b i t c h, but it took me a while to realize that because we got along so well. The way she talked/talks about people makes me want to slap her. She acts as if she's permanently stuck in middle school. Thank goodness that I rarely see her anymore.
With guys that I've casually dated, sometimes they'll let a bit of their unattractive streak slip on the first few dates. I remember one guy kept making underhanded racist comments at dinner one time. It's safe to say that I didn't accept his next invitation.
I could be "needy" at times when I was younger and this led to all kinds of disappointments with friends and in my love relationships too...I had a tendency to "jump the gun" so to speak because I was just too "hungry" for companionship at times....As I became more secure inside...and more self sufficient...I stopped needing just anybody to avoid being alone.
I am divorced, and apparently my husband was never the person I thought he was.
The wisest piece of advise I have ever been given is that you can only really know people over time. Personally, I have found that there are stages where different traits come out.
For relationships:
3 months - this is usually a make or break time, if you make it that far. A lot of couples break up then, others stick it out until the next stage
6 months - those couples who were faltering at 3 months will break it off at 6 months, often times.
For relationships or friendships:
1 1/2 to 2 years - I have found there is some weird thing that happens at the two year marker for any relationship I've ever had. Work colleagues, friends, romantic interests. This is where you seem to really know most of the ins and outs of a person. And sometimes things can suddenly bust apart. I have had many friendships and relationships end around the 2 year mark.
So my rule of thumb for dating has been...date at least 2 years before you get married. Although I haven't made it that far. My relationships have all broken up in less than a year...two at the 2/3 month mark and one at the 6 month mark.
There was one person I had been really good friends with who turned out to be self-righteous POS after a year of friendship...glad I won't be seeing him much anymore.
With girls I have dated this occasionally happens after the first few dates, when they let crap slip, my favorite thus far is the one who admitted that she was cheating on her boyfriend with me. I pretty much broke it off right there.
To be sure! I married her 41 years ago. Thankfully, I divorced her 16 years ago.
And I married him 20 years ago. Divorced him 9 years ago!
I became friends once with someone who told me the saddest story. She was staying with relatives for some reason while her family took a vacation trip by car. They were in an accident and her parents and brother and sisters were all killed. She was adopted by the relatives with whom she was staying. This woman was in her 20's when she told me this story.
Then I met her adoptive family. She looked exactly like her "adoptive" father, as well as all her "adoptive" siblings. I later found out from someone else who knew her that she'd told him her original family was killed in a plane crash. Then came more stories. She became engaged to a man named George that no one ever seemed to have met, and was flashing a diamond ring. Then she was in a minor car accident and while she was in the hospital, a nurse stole her engagement ring. Then she broke up with the mysterious George shortly after. Then I heard from someone else that she was at a party at someone's house and a diamond ring and some cash was missing and she was suspected of having stolen it.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
