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I've been seeing a certain someone who I seriously ADMIRED for the past 3 years off and on. Out of those three years, he was a good friend to me. I was dealing with so much and at the time, he stood by my side and I fell in love with him yall, I wouldn't lie. We did go through some things together, that I care not to mention. However, I feel that what we went through may have something to do with him not trusting me. Yet he keeps me around. . He moved out of state last year. I know it's hard to trust someone who lives miles away from you. However, I don't think he knows what he wants. One minute he's like I want you to come and see me and stay with me for a few weeks because i'm(me) out of work right now, so I said okay. Then he tells me that I don't care about him(and that is a lie, cuz I do care) Then the next minute he seems like he doesn't want to be bothered or he wants to communicate or give me short answers to my questions. He told me that he may start going out more and mingling, so I told him go head you never know whats out there. Do you think I should have said this?? I told him to do that cause to me he doesn't know what he wants. And he told me not to give him any advice on meeting folks ..whatever. So anyhow, what do yall think? I'm a little hurt, cuz I still like him.
I've been seeing a certain someone who I seriously ADMIRED for the past 3 years off and on. Out of those three years, he was a good friend to me. I was dealing with so much and at the time, he stood by my side and I fell in love with him yall, I wouldn't lie. We did go through some things together, that I care not to mention. However, I feel that what we went through may have something to do with him not trusting me. Yet he keeps me around. . He moved out of state last year. I know it's hard to trust someone who lives miles away from you. However, I don't think he knows what he wants. One minute he's like I want you to come and see me and stay with me for a few weeks because i'm(me) out of work right now, so I said okay. Then he tells me that I don't care about him(and that is a lie, cuz I do care) Then the next minute he seems like he doesn't want to be bothered or he wants to communicate or give me short answers to my questions. He told me that he may start going out more and mingling, so I told him go head you never know whats out there. Do you think I should have said this?? I told him to do that cause to me he doesn't know what he wants. And he told me not to give him any advice on meeting folks ..whatever. So anyhow, what do yall think? I'm a little hurt, cuz I still like him.
Some feedback please..
Moderator cut: Copyright violation
Last edited by cricket_factor; 02-11-2010 at 08:45 AM..
I've been seeing a certain someone who I seriously ADMIRED for the past 3 years off and on. Out of those three years, he was a good friend to me. I was dealing with so much and at the time, he stood by my side and I fell in love with him yall, I wouldn't lie. We did go through some things together, that I care not to mention. However, I feel that what we went through may have something to do with him not trusting me. Yet he keeps me around. . He moved out of state last year. I know it's hard to trust someone who lives miles away from you. However, I don't think he knows what he wants. One minute he's like I want you to come and see me and stay with me for a few weeks because i'm(me) out of work right now, so I said okay. Then he tells me that I don't care about him(and that is a lie, cuz I do care) Then the next minute he seems like he doesn't want to be bothered or he wants to communicate or give me short answers to my questions. He told me that he may start going out more and mingling, so I told him go head you never know whats out there. Do you think I should have said this?? I told him to do that cause to me he doesn't know what he wants. And he told me not to give him any advice on meeting folks ..whatever. So anyhow, what do yall think? I'm a little hurt, cuz I still like him.
Some feedback please..
I think you did a great job supporting him.
He isn't sure what he wants but you showed you are here for him.
He knows you like him. He likes you too.
What you did right is you told him to go out and mingle. "You never know what is out there." Good job. True love will never burn out. You are etched in his mind. Let him go out and mingle. I appreciated that about what you did. The time apart will either make your love grow for him or you will see things through the time of the dust setting.
What you showed is you are being a supportive person to him. (a quality that is valuable) You are not needy and controlling. He now knows you have his back. You made mention you would like to visit him.
What he is thinking is he misses you but he doesn't know if he asks you to come visit if you will get the wrong idea and move in with him. You know, to stay. He's not ready for that.
If I were you, go visit but get a hotel room for the first night. Show him that you were there to spend time with him but are not there to step on his domain. Does that make sense. He will respect you for not taking a few of his dresser drawers the first night on the visit. Say goodnight and head off to your hotel room. Let him make the move of inviting you to spend the night if he wants. Tell him you'll call him in the morning.
Compliment him on his new place. What a cool bachelor pad he has. Things like that will make him feel good.
With women if a guy doesn't make a sure stand as to being her girlfriend he goes off to the "friend" line. Not good. If a woman goes in the friend line....he will invite her over to the "girlfriend" line. Totally different. If a girl pushes her way to the "girlfriend" line too soon she may end up in the "easy" line. Not good.
He isn't sure what he wants but you showed you are here for him.
He knows you like him. He likes you too.
What you did right is you told him to go out and mingle. "You never know what is out there." Good job. True love will never burn out. You are etched in his mind. Let him go out and mingle. I appreciated that about what you did. The time apart will either make your love grow for him or you will see things through the time of the dust setting.
What you showed is you are being a supportive person to him. (a quality that is valuable) You are not needy and controlling. He now knows you have his back. You made mention you would like to visit him.
What he is thinking is he misses you but he doesn't know if he asks you to come visit if you will get the wrong idea and move in with him. You know, to stay. He's not ready for that.
If I were you, go visit but get a hotel room for the first night. Show him that you were there to spend time with him but are not there to step on his domain. Does that make sense. He will respect you for not taking a few of his dresser drawers the first night on the visit. Say goodnight and head off to your hotel room. Let him make the move of inviting you to spend the night if he wants. Tell him you'll call him in the morning.
Compliment him on his new place. What a cool bachelor pad he has. Things like that will make him feel good.
With women if a guy doesn't make a sure stand as to being her girlfriend he goes off to the "friend" line. Not good. If a woman goes in the friend line....he will invite her over to the "girlfriend" line. Totally different. If a girl pushes her way to the "girlfriend" line too soon she may end up in the "easy" line. Not good.
He isn't sure what he wants but you showed you are here for him.
He knows you like him. He likes you too.
What you did right is you told him to go out and mingle. "You never know what is out there." Good job. True love will never burn out. You are etched in his mind. Let him go out and mingle. I appreciated that about what you did. The time apart will either make your love grow for him or you will see things through the time of the dust setting.
What you showed is you are being a supportive person to him. (a quality that is valuable) You are not needy and controlling. He now knows you have his back. You made mention you would like to visit him.
What he is thinking is he misses you but he doesn't know if he asks you to come visit if you will get the wrong idea and move in with him. You know, to stay. He's not ready for that.
If I were you, go visit but get a hotel room for the first night. Show him that you were there to spend time with him but are not there to step on his domain. Does that make sense. He will respect you for not taking a few of his dresser drawers the first night on the visit. Say goodnight and head off to your hotel room. Let him make the move of inviting you to spend the night if he wants. Tell him you'll call him in the morning.
Compliment him on his new place. What a cool bachelor pad he has. Things like that will make him feel good.
With women if a guy doesn't make a sure stand as to being her girlfriend he goes off to the "friend" line. Not good. If a woman goes in the friend line....he will invite her over to the "girlfriend" line. Totally different. If a girl pushes her way to the "girlfriend" line too soon she may end up in the "easy" line. Not good.
Hope it all works out for you.
Funnyman..thank u so much for your advice, you probably gave the best advice already!! I will certainly do what you said, but I don't think that I will go see him though, just to save a heartache..
I've been seeing a certain someone who I seriously ADMIRED for the past 3 years off and on. Out of those three years, he was a good friend to me. I was dealing with so much and at the time, he stood by my side and I fell in love with him yall, I wouldn't lie. We did go through some things together, that I care not to mention. However, I feel that what we went through may have something to do with him not trusting me. Yet he keeps me around. . He moved out of state last year. I know it's hard to trust someone who lives miles away from you. However, I don't think he knows what he wants. One minute he's like I want you to come and see me and stay with me for a few weeks because i'm(me) out of work right now, so I said okay. Then he tells me that I don't care about him(and that is a lie, cuz I do care) Then the next minute he seems like he doesn't want to be bothered or he wants to communicate or give me short answers to my questions. He told me that he may start going out more and mingling, so I told him go head you never know whats out there. Do you think I should have said this?? I told him to do that cause to me he doesn't know what he wants. And he told me not to give him any advice on meeting folks ..whatever. So anyhow, what do yall think? I'm a little hurt, cuz I still like him.
Some feedback please..
When he says things like "you don't care about me" or being distant it seems he is seeking validation of your commitment to him. You mentioned a previous time in which you are the one who has betrayed some sense of trust between the two of you.
While I am not advocating to smother or drool all over him, the burden is upon you to make him feel wanted, needed and that you are commited to the relationship.
I would suggest having a long talk with between the two of you and really get honest about what the two of you want, where you want the relationship to go and if you are willing to leave past indiscrestions in the past and move forward.
Girl it's fine, to better to know now than later...
Sooo true
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