About Your Best Relationship

[giz2000]

Originally Posted by 115db

Somehow I get the feeling I may have answered this one before but here goes.
1995, one of my customers (in my homecleaning biz), my kids loved him, he was great with them, we were very close, we dated for a long time, but somehow I got the feeling really he deserved better, as he was an exec and I cleaned houses for a living. And we both were recently divorced. So I got my cdl and became a long haul truck driver to somewhat better my income. Rather than make a novel out of it, I'll leave it at that.

That is pretty cool...

[RUINER_SR4]

I'm in it now. Been with her for almost 2 years, she's been with me through by far the most stressful, difficult stretch of my life and has been my rock. I'm gonna marry that girl someday.

[Oildog]

I've had good ones, but my mobile lifestyle was too much for them. Havent really been in one the last decade. Not really any bad ones as I've been able to sort out the nuts, hangers on, and high maintenance types early on.

[NY Annie]

I am in the perfect relationship for me. We started off as friends, 13 years ago - My 28 year marriage was finally ending (it had been dying for 27 years); his 15 year marriage was ending. We just chatted online about common interests. Funny, we talked every day - about things we were doing, just sharing. About 6 months later, after I had been hurt, we realized we had romantic interest in each other and initially decided to not meet. No point we felt as we saw the few things we differed about being large obstacles. Finally, the pull to meet became overwhelming and we agreed to meet for lunch. Oh my, fireworks. Then we had to decide what to do about it. When we decided to move in together, we set up some ground rules - communication was the first - and we set up rules to make sure we would have a good base. We still employ those rules 12 years later.

I love when he has vacation time and we get to be together 24/7. As much as I hated the pain he was in, when he was out of work for 2 months due to a work vehicle accident, I loved having him around. He didn't tire of my company then, either. So I am very much looking forward to our retirement and spending more time with him. We each have separate interests and encourage the other in them. Sometimes we will help/share; but we also recognize the need for private time - and respect that need.

I love him more with every passing day. And I am sure he would say the same.

[Yzette]

In it now. He has stood by me through some world-rocking medical stuff, and vice versa.

It's successful because:

1. When something comes up, we hash it out. It's rare that we fight. I can count the number of times we've fought on one hand, in three years. That's not to say we don't get annoyed with each other on occasion, because we do, but it doesn't become this GREAT BIG ISSUE with raised voices and high emotion.

2. We give each other space, both physical and mental.

3. We have a number of interests in common but we also have our own hobbies and pursuits.

4. We try not to get into ruts or take each other for granted.

5. We don't sweat the small stuff. If something gets to the point where one of us says, "I'm annoyed," the other knows it's time to listen.

Really, it boils down to respect, for each other and ourselves.

[mchelle]

Originally Posted by Mr. Humble

Are you in it now? If not, how long did it last and what broke it up?

Have you never been in what you'd consider a good relationship?

Whether you have been in one or not, do you still believe in them?

I believe that I am in my best relationship right now. I'll give details so skip over if you'd like I'm not listing every single one, just the ones that stick out in my mind.

Relationship #1 was with someone I met in high school. Very sweet, nerdy guy. We were each others first girlfriend/boyfriend and were together for three years. A very sweet and innocent relationship overall. But then I decided that I wanted to try the party lifestyle, so I broke up with him and had some random flings for a couple of years. Although I regret my decision to start partying/drugs/etc, I don't regret the breakup. I was a very emotional and needy person (and still kind of am) and I believe that I was dragging him down. Although my reasoning for breaking up with him at the time was selfish, looking back I think that it was in HIS best interest as well. He has a girlfriend now and they're doing very well together.

Relationship #2 was with someone who was older than me which was extremely exciting at the time. I was 17/18, he was 21/22. I think that he played me, honestly. I was naive and thought that he cared about me but then I came to my senses and broke up with him. I'm not sure what he's up to now, we kind of lost contact. If he couldn't have sex with me, what good was I?

Relationship #3. We have had our ups and downs. Loooots of ups and downs. We have both made a lot of mistakes but have grown so much individually as well as a couple. He has helped me to learn that relationships take effort and compromise. We've only been together about a year and a half but it feels like it's been decades. We're moving in together soon so it can only go up from here I think that being more mature has helped this relationship a lot. He's only a year older, so there's no big age difference. I just feel incredibly happy in this relationship, even at the worst of times we know that we can always depend on each other.