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Give us a solution. Give us alternatives. Some of you say that we who 'go crazy' over someone not responding to a text or call have low self-esteem, and that the reason why is us, us, us.
So my question, give us an alternative. If you've gone out with someone just a couple of times...you're not trying to force it anywhere, you're just been chill and relax. You're not making any heavy demands, right?
Right. So when someone starts coming up with different excuses at the last second when they ask you out, how is one not to be a bit upset about it? Also, would you just sit back and take everyone of the excuses as they come?
Oh this, oh that...next week, its something else. I let something like that go on for weeks one time. So now, the moment it happens...I already know whats up. Its not the cancel part, its the fact that its last minute, with no counter-offer for when else.
Don't worry about it; you are young and will grow out of it. Eventually you might feel a little disappointed, but you'll move on easily. You'll understand that if he doesn't contact you, the guy just doesn't like you all that much. And you'll understand that his continuing to contact you would only be a waste of your time.
yeah but all the while this person is passively cancelling (I say passive because there was no invite)....they said they wanted to see me.
Some of you are being unduly negative. I dont think it always means they dont want me, or they dont want to see me.
1 thing I realize here, is immediately when a poster mentions someone not calling or txting, you go right into "its your fault" or "he's not that into you".
How can you say that? He's not that into me but he had his tounge down my throat on the last date...and he texted me and told me how much he enjoyed our time together afterwards?
So there must be some reason why he would do that. if he is really into you, then he shouldn't dither. it makes no sense otherwise.
I reckon he may have cold feet, or is anxious. Other than that, perhaps he is screwing you around. It may sound negative, but there is no rational explanation that I can see.
Confront him as to why he acts this way, at least then you would have a reason, and can have peace of mind then.
Give us a solution. Give us alternatives. Some of you say that we who 'go crazy' over someone not responding to a text or call have low self-esteem, and that the reason why is us, us, us.
So my question, give us an alternative. If you've gone out with someone just a couple of times...you're not trying to force it anywhere, you're just been chill and relax. You're not making any heavy demands, right?
Right. So when someone starts coming up with different excuses at the last second when they ask you out, how is one not to be a bit upset about it? Also, would you just sit back and take everyone of the excuses as they come?
Oh this, oh that...next week, its something else. I let something like that go on for weeks one time. So now, the moment it happens...I already know whats up. Its not the cancel part, its the fact that its last minute, with no counter-offer for when else.
It is understandable to be upset, but realize that it's not going to change anything or make it better. The best solution I could come up with is a) don't contact that person and b) don't commit to doing anything with that person.
The fact that you write down the rant may get it out of your system, and you can go back to not worrying yourself about it.
For example, with my thing--I was just going to go ahead and go by myself at the next opportunity, but the tax office BEGGED me to come sit at a desk this year, just so they could be fully manned, because someone quit on them. All I had to do is pass a knowledge test, which I passed with flying colors. Five years of experience will do that for you. So I can do my taxes with their software for free anyhow, instead of having to go to Tax-Aide to get them e-filed.
But you say this happens to you a lot so there has to be some connection here. Be a little more open minded to that.
I think its the system. The online dating system I'm not saying this happens everytime, but it happens more often that not. But too...it happens from gyms, nightclubs and bars too, but thats a whole other topic.
There seems to be this 3rd date 'hurdle' that I always go through. We do the 2 dates, everything seems great and then it either dies immediately or it slowly grinds to a halt...much frustration and confusion (and texting) in the process.
Its like, are you seeing someone else? Are you just not ready to go to the next step (which minds you...a 3rd date is NOT a next step on my book. Its simply a number of times we've made plans and stuck to them...which I find they cant do after date 2) Or is it really me just trippin?
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