Am I wrong to be upset about this? (hubby, child, friend)
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I don't know how you intend to raise your children (if you have any) but I don't plan to be a burden to mine. It's not their responsiblity to bail me out of a bad situation I got into by myself. The father is married and has another grown up living at home. If he can't control his finances, he should not place the burden upon his son to rescue him.
Now he is not responding to their phone calls and attempts to try to get their money back. Real parent-like, huh?
I can understand the need to help when it is appropriate but the FIL seems to have some issues of credit management. It should have been a big red flag.
I don't plan to burden my children either, which is why I am extremely responsible on my finances. That's not the point though.
The point is that his dad needs help. If money does not solve it, he should ask to take control of his dad's finance to better provide assistance rather than let him hang and dry.
As his wife, she should support it because it's his dad.
No. And there's no sense in hijacking this thread. Suffice to say that attitudes like the one you expressed are exactly why women decided to get out into the workplace--they didn't want to be financially dependent on men, and therefore beholden to men's "I make the money, I make the decisions, unga, bunga" financial whims and fancies.
However, if the OP and her husband feel it right that she be home to raise their small children, that is their decision, and one that should be respected.
I don't plan to burden my children either, which is why I am extremely responsible on my finances. That's not the point though.
The point is that his dad needs help. If money does not solve it, he should ask to take control of his dad's finance to better provide assistance rather than let him hang and dry.
As his wife, she should support it because it's his dad.
The point is his dad didn't REALLY need help in the manner in which a child should help a parent. He managed his finances wrecklessly and wants someone to bail him out. Needing help should come along the lines of an elderly parent who is on a limited income, health issues, etc. in which you discuss taking over finances. Not some narcisstic parent who blew through his retirement or didn't plan for one. He was in over his head and $5k has been p*ssed into the wind because they will never see that money again.
You don't seem to acknowledge his father's behavior now that his time for repayment has passed. Do you think it's part of his parental duty to shun his son now?.....treating him no better than the long list of creditors already after him?
What if his son was in a position of needing help? Who would be there for him?
I'm going to have to disagree. Childcare cannot be that expensive. The single mother working at wal-mart would probably disagree too. If she can do it alone and still have a place to live and food and get her "hair did" then... And I'm not suggesting abandoning the children with child care professionals.
Getting a job temporarily or part time, would be an economically wise means to an end.
Are you people REALLY that unaware? Do you think that everyone has access to the same quality of daycare? My son's daycare cost $500 a month, 7 years ago! And that was inexpensive compared to some other places here. I assure you that a gal working at Walmart, after subtracting her work expenses and day care, would not be paying a quality center to take care of those kids. Grandma, maybe. A neighbor, maybe. More often, the kid is left at home, alone, as soon as possible.
I have one policy in life regarding money, be it for friends or family.. unless it is a life and death situation (and I mean that quite literally) I will not lend money to anyone and neither do I borrow a dime from anyone else! PERIOD!
Yes, you are terribly wrong on this and your behavior is totally unacceptable and imappropriate! I know my answer will upset a lot of people here.
This is not loaning money to nobody. It's his dad! No matter of what, your FIL is his dad! If it were your dad, would you be so upset? Instead of being supportive, you being overreacting and not understanding puts a tremendous pressure on your hus, the only breadwinner at home.
Please remember how your parents loved you and cared for you!!!
Exactly, it's his dad, and right now his dad is not looking out for his son's best interests. The family is barely making their ends meet and here he is asking for 5K. What kind of dentist this guy was anyway that he is now asking for such a large amount of money. It's not $500, it's $5000. He is taking advandage of his son's kindness. I would be so ashamed if I was him.
I'm curious as to why stay at home moms don't get jobs when the family is "struggling"
hmm
Because child care costs a lot of money for 2 toddlers. I doubt she would make enough to cover the expenses.
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It's not their responsiblity to bail me out of a bad situation I got into by myself. The father is married and has another grown up living at home. If he can't control his finances, he should not place the burden upon his son to rescue him.
