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I think it has to do more the way you were raised than region. People think those from the south always have good manners but working for a military installation, you'd be suprised that the assumption isn't always correct.
My parent's died when I was rather young, soon after, I was emancipated so I've evolved based on whom I spent my time with and my own perception and understanding of how things should be.
For me, it's polite to use Sir and Ma'am when speaking to older folks, people my age I'm using their first name. When my kids were little I allowed their friends to call me whatever their parents had taught them. Being called "Mrs. So and So" always made me feel old.
I have other friends kids that refer to me as "Miss Andrea" which is totally fine and preferred these days. I pretty much go with the flow. My manners however don't stop at addressing and speaking to people. I say excuse me when scooting by someoene, I say please and thank you, etc.
When my kids were little I allowed their friends to call me whatever their parents had taught them.
I was never a stickler for my kids' friends calling me Ms. I really rather them call me by my first name, some called me mom, but when they called me Mrs. so and so, it made me think of Eddie Haskell on leave it to beaver.
I work for a tax preparation company. I always address our clients by their last names--however, their last names can be hard to say as well. I, in fact, asked one gentleman how his name was pronounced, and told him it sounded Slavic (it was Hungarian). His first name--Richard--would have been easier to say, but not as professional.
I've also never liked addressing managers by their first names. Mr. Bigshot just seems to roll of my tongue easier than Jomama...especially if another person in the building shares the name. They page for "Tim" and I want to answer, even though 90 times out of ten it's the manager guy. So what happens? I ignore the pages, and then when they actually DO call me? I'm ignoring it too.
i was born and raised in NJ by an italian family and we DEFINITELY used Mr and Mrs "signora/signore" unless it was someone close, we would call them aunt or uncle...NEVER by their first names. i Still cant bring myself to call older people by their first names, unless they ask me to.
Since CD members are from all over the U.S. and some other countries, I thought I'd ask this question here...
I'm an adult who has had and displayed manners throughout my life... while some people with different backgrounds consider it odd, others get very negative about it...
One example is I've always addressed much-older people, people I don't know, business contacts, & similar, as Mr/Mrs/Ms and their last name... I consider it nothing more nor less than due respect...
I've found many people in rural areas don't do this, and those in the inner-city don't either...
so I'm wondering what you all think about the subject.
I think it's become less common due to the less formal relationships we develop between our elders and strangers.
Now the elders are like regular Joes. You view them much like your peers. And strangers and business associates are pretty much the same.
But formalities are not dead. Just less common in some parts. The south still has it a lot.
I work for a university, so usually when I deal with faculty (and I'm contacting them,) I start out with "Dr. Soandso". 9 times out of 10 they'll say, "please, it's Steve." But I take the cue from them.
I'm also working with some friends of my parents to plan their 50th anniversary party this summer. My mom's best friend insists that I call her "Diane" and it just feels wrong. I've known this woman for 30 years, and to call her anything other than "Mrs. B" is just weird.
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 03-24-2010 at 09:26 AM..
I've had the double whammy of being raised in the 60's in NY by an Italian family, and having spent most of my formative years involved with martial arts where, like the military, you NEVER address anyone except in formal terms.
It's "Sir" and "Ma'am" for me right down the line.
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