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Ask married men why they proprosed. Most of them say it's because if they don't, they'll lose their girlfriends. There are very few men who even want to be married, and the ones that do, do so at gunpoint.
I'll take option B. Loose the Girl friend, I have before and I can do it again. I just love these threads lol if you search my name here you'll see the other posts I made on similiar issues.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I am reading this to mean that you believe that a free-thinking, nonconformist, free spirit of a woman cannot be married. In other words, she has to conform to your ideals in order to be a nonconformist. Seems paradoxical to me.
I meant conforming to society's expectation of being married to be a real woman. I don't mean conforming to what I said.
I didn't say this type of woman CANNOT be married. I meant that kind of woman is OKAY not being married. She may go ahead and get married if the man wants to, but she won't NEED marriage and pressure her man to marry her, or break up with him as an ultimatum if he doesn't.
There may be other types of women who are okay with not being married; I'm just not aware of them.
Actually...I know many many married couples (including my parents, and my boyfriends parents) who are perfectly content and happy with being married. It's not just a 'woman's fairytale', some couples honestly and truly want to be married.
I, fact, my best friend's boyfriend has been BEGGING her to get married for going on 7 years now...and she doesn't want to yet. My boyfriend has asked me to marry him multiple times in the last few years and I've told him 'maybe'. He's the one who wants to get married, not me.
If we ever decide to have kids (which he wants, and I don't) we will get married... or when he goes into the Air Force officially we'll get married as well.
Not all relationships are the same
Thank you for point that out. You're right. There are definitely men who want to be married, though it may seem to a lot of women fewer and fewer of them exist. My father remarried after the divorce and he loves being married. He preaches us to get married all the time. A friend of mine has lived with her bf of 15 yrs, and his proposal is still good. She just can't cross the line. But he won't leave.
You notice that women will eventually leave a man who won't marry her, but I have never heard of a man leaving a woman who won't. This tells you who wants marriage more.
I guess I wanted to support the OP that he is not alone in not wanting to be married. Marriage is an option only, and just because it doesn't fit his life's agenda does not mean he should feel like an outcast or guilty about it.
I feel I can get just as much out of life unmarried as any married woman, if not more. There are so many fulfilling things to do as a single person that a married person is not able to due to marriage constraints. I don't care how many married people tell me how free they are and how much their husbands/wives allow them to do whatever they want. They have more constraints than I do.
That being said, I also realize marriage offers the type of companionship that is non-existent as a single. However, you can also get that companionship with a boyfriend (i.e., my friend who bought the house together with her boyfriend). So marriage, again, is not necessary.
I'll take option B. Loose the Girl friend, I have before and I can do it again. I just love these threads lol if you search my name here you'll see the other posts I made on similiar issues.
You are not alone. Lots of men do what you do. Society calls them commitment-phobes, but until divorce laws change so fewer men are being bankrupted or have their kids taken away from them, there will be men like you who choose to protect themselves.
I ask because I don't really ever want to get married. I've made this well known to my gf who says she wants to eventually get married.
I want to say yes, because I know there are women out there that don't care for marriage, and women who wouldn't mind if a man didn't. However, I think you will come across a lot more that will not agree with you. For me personally, I would like the security of being married. (Though I do not live in fairytale land, I understand the woes of infidelity) It's just something that I want for myself and my children someday. Its a personal decision.
You are not alone. Lots of men do what you do. Society calls them commitment-phobes, but until divorce laws change so fewer men are being bankrupted or have their kids taken away from them, there will be men like you who choose to protect themselves.
It's like a "Security Umbrella"
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