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What's next is that she moves on and puts her life back together. No one is saying that it's going to be smooth sailing, but if she's DEAD it becomes a moot point. That's why your line of defense for keeping silent on this doesn't amount to much.
You--and Onglet--are entitled to your opinions. And I am entitled to find those opinions ethically bankrupt.
Ok, Avienne, if the #1 problem that you're seeing here is the STDs. Perhaps the right thing to do will be for his sister to get him tested? Or at least show her the results that he's been tested.
I am sure she can convince him to do that once in a while (all she needs to do start the talk about "they own caring for each other to their parents" and he'll do it).
If he is fine, then perhaps it would be right to stay the hell out of their lives?
This is one of those threads that I wonder why I opened or bothered to reply, you hope you can make a difference, but thats all you can do is hope.
What p*sses me off more, he's taken the heat for his opinion,(which your not going to change).
This falls on the OP competely, It's a disgrace. She doesn't have the backbone to take some action or face the forum either, I'm not surprised.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Avienne
What's next is that she moves on and puts her life back together. No one is saying that it's going to be smooth sailing, but if she's DEAD it becomes a moot point. That's why your line of defense for keeping silent on this doesn't amount to much.
You--and Onglet--are entitled to your opinions. And I am entitled to find those opinions ethically bankrupt.
Ok, Avienne, if the #1 problem that you're seeing here is the STDs. Perhaps the right thing to do will be for his sister to get him tested? Or at least show her the results that he's been tested.
I am sure she can convince him to do that once in a while (all she needs to do start the talk about "they own caring for each other to their parents" and he'll do it).
If he is fine, then perhaps it would be right to stay the hell out of their lives?
No. The window for testing positive for HIV is 6 to 12 weeks. He is sleeping around with abandon.
And then what are you going to do when he tests positive? By then it is too late.
What's more, testing positive is no guarantee that he will stop his behavior, nor will it guarantee that he will then tell his wife. Instead, that will only make him criminally negligent in a number of states should he continue, and should he recklessly or knowingly infect his wife with HIV, he could be charged with any number of crimes up to and including attempted murder.
Again, this is not some jerkwad banging his secretary on a business trip. This man is playing Russian roulette with his wife's life and his own, not to mention the lives of all of the people he is sleeping with. In fact, if he is sleeping with the vast numbers of people the OP would have us believe, I consider him a public health hazard.
If you think that is okay, and that it is okay for a sister to watch her brother put himself, his wife, his kids, and who knows how many other people at risk, then there is nothing more to say. We are simply not going to agree on this, and that's all there is to it.
No. The window for testing positive for HIV is 6 to 12 weeks. He is sleeping around with abandon.
And then what are you going to do when he tests positive? By then it is too late.
What's more, testing positive is no guarantee that he will stop his behavior, nor will it guarantee that he will then tell his wife. Instead, that will only make him criminally negligent in a number of states should he continue, and should he recklessly or knowingly infect his wife with HIV, he could be charged with any number of crimes up to and including attempted murder.
Again, this is not some jerkwad banging his secretary on a business trip. This man is playing Russian roulette with his wife's life and his own, not to mention the lives of all of the people he is sleeping with. In fact, if he is sleeping with the vast numbers of people the OP would have us believe, I consider him a public health hazard.
If you think that is okay, and that it is okay for a sister to watch her brother put himself, his wife, his kids, and who knows how many other people at risk, then there is nothing more to say. We are simply not going to agree on this, and that's all there is to it.
OMG! Why the heck are you picturing this guy as a devil himself? What's with all the hatred towards all the "lowlifes" as you call them? What, are they not people anymore?
It seems to me like you'd be happy to take all the prostitutes, thugs, drug addicts and pimps, throw them in a pit a burn them to death.
He's just a guy! If he's doing it for a long time already, chances are, he knows what he's doing. he's not dead yet, right? So i assume he's using double protection, like he should.
After all, again, it seems like he's got MUCH more guts that his wife. Do you really think he will let his kids go so easily? Do you think he will let HER go so easily?
OMG! Why the heck are you picturing this guy as a devil himself? What's with all the hatred towards all the "lowlifes" as you call them? What, are they not people anymore?
It seems to me like you'd be happy to take all the prostitutes, thugs, drug addicts and pimps, throw them in a pit a burn them to death.
He's just a guy! If he's doing it for a long time already, chances are, he knows what he's doing. he's not dead yet, right? So i assume he's using double protection, like he should.
After all, again, it seems like he's got MUCH more guts that his wife. Do you really think he will let his kids go so easily? Do you think he will let HER go so easily?
You are so dellusional with this post that I'm not sure if I should take it seriously at all. Nobody is saying that prostitutes and drug addicts should be thrown in a pit, but the reality is, they are much more likely to be infected with STDs and HIV in particular. Sometimes it takes up to 3 months for HIV to come up and by the way, people can live up to 1 year with HIV completely symptom free. This guy could be infected already and not even know it. The fact that he is "alive" like you state says absolutely nothing.
And what GUTS exactly does he have? I want to hear it. He is disrespecting his marital bed, his household and yes, his own children, by bringing all kinds of trash to screw. This guy has no guts or morals. He is as lost as you can get and he needs someone to beat his brains back into his head.
Do you really think that the guy that is so addicted to sex that he cheats with such carelessness will bother with "double protection"? What is the point of the screwing for him if he can't enjoy it to the fullest, aka without the rubber? At least I'm sure that is what he is thinking. You are giving him way too much credit.
The problem is not the Brother who's actions are being debated by most posters (I notice that virgode has seen this as well). The problem is the OP (original poster) inability to rationally handle what she describes is a truly hideous situation. She (I assumes this from the context of her 2 posts) always ends her remarks with the statement that "All Men act this way". As virgode said, "bad reasoning ability (sic)".
So it stands she needs to get help for herself. Not because she is a bad person, like her brother, but because she is unable to come to grips with her lack of self esteem and inability to take positive action. Not to mention again her ascribing behavior of her Brother as a Universal type of thing that men do.
Now if her posts were a expressed dilemma concerning telling the Wife that would be a different story.
There's three ppl not taking this seriously, the husband who brings this into a home where he's raising kids, the wife who's in denial but knows to some degree, and the OP.
The problem is not the Brother who's actions are being debated by most posters (I notice that virgode has seen this as well). The problem is the OP (original poster) inability to rationally handle what she describes is a truly hideous situation. She (I assumes this from the context of her 2 posts) always ends her remarks with the statement that "All Men act this way". As virgode said, "bad reasoning ability (sic)".
So it stands she needs to get help for herself. Not because she is a bad person, like her brother, but because she is unable to come to grips with her lack of self esteem and inability to take positive action. Not to mention again her ascribing behavior of her Brother as a Universal type of thing that men do.
Now if her posts were a expressed dilemma concerning telling the Wife that would be a different story.
Yes, it's all about her which became more transparent in her second post on this thread when she basically said that her brother's acceptance of and love for her and thus her protection of his confidence is of paramount importance. I just thank my lucky stars that I never had a SIL like her.
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