Would you tell? (marriage, guy, cheating, husband)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Someone close to me is getting married a second time. Her first marriage fell apart for many reasons, but the main reason was her infidelity. She felt neglected in her marriage so she cheated. She later confessed it to her ex-husband and they could never get pass that.
Right now, she is agonizing whether or not she should have disclosed this information to her fiance. My opinion is that what happened in the first marriage is the past that doesn't need to be rehashed. She is not a perpetual cheater, she regretted cheating and wouldn't want to put herself in this position again. So I don't think she needs to tell. She feels bad that her fiance doesn't know.
What is your opinion? Don't you think that sometimes the past should stay in the past?
No need to sabotage her own relationship. What happened in the past should stay there. All she's going to do by revealing her past infidelities is make this guy insecure. Better to start off with a clean slate, why place one foot in the grave already?
No need to sabotage her own relationship. What happened in the past should stay there. All she's going to do by revealing her past infidelities is make this guy insecure. Better to start off with a clean slate, why place one foot in the grave already?
In my humble opinion, she shouldn't say anything about it to her fiance. Why ruin a good relationship over reckless behavior you did in the past? The past is the past anyways.
Someone close to me is getting married a second time. Her first marriage fell apart for many reasons, but the main reason was her infidelity. She felt neglected in her marriage so she cheated. She later confessed it to her ex-husband and they could never get pass that.
Right now, she is agonizing whether or not she should have disclosed this information to her fiance. My opinion is that what happened in the first marriage is the past that doesn't need to be rehashed. She is not a perpetual cheater, she regretted cheating and wouldn't want to put herself in this position again. So I don't think she needs to tell. She feels bad that her fiance doesn't know.
What is your opinion? Don't you think that sometimes the past should stay in the past?
I think the time for telling has long-passed and now nothing good will come of it. I hope he never finds out though.
I would think that if she truely sees it as a mistake and she's on the path to not doing it again, I don't know if the new guy needs to know about it.
I'm just trying to think from that perspective. I'm sure he might have done some things that aren't totally above bar, should he confess every indiscression???
If she wants to see him at the alter, I would suggest she not tell. Why implant such a thought into his head when she has no intentions of cheating on him?
If she tells him then why not tell about every sexual escapade she's had, positions she's tried, **** sizes, etc. because that's the firestorm of thoughts she will create in his mind.
It's time to start anew. The one in which she offended and broke their trust has moved on and it's in the past. Leave it there.
Last edited by seeniorita; 04-25-2010 at 01:49 PM..
If she is trying to start a 'new' life with a 'new' person why on earth drag baggage from a former relationship that has nothing to do with him into the situation. If she's going to do that then she should start with stories about everyone she's dated since high school. What relevance does it have on her 'new' relationship and marriage?
I can see not saying anything about it. But also but not being upfront about past indiscretions is that lying in a way? I guess it would better to find out now and deal with it rather than later if another indiscretion occurs.
I guess openness and honesty is paramount in a marriage. If someone is keeping something from the other experience tells me it recipe for disaster.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Why implant such a thought into his head when she has no intentions of cheating on him? 
