How can you possibly know who is in your league? (dates, wife)

[calipoppy]

Originally Posted by betamanlet

how do you determine this?

When they reject you, you'll know.

Keep it movin'.

[genx]

Originally Posted by betamanlet

I don't know.

I just feel really bad about this weekend.. First time I've gone out in a long time, and I just felt so crappy around my friend's sisters, even though even if they were interested in me, nothing would still ever happen..

If I were to just go out, who would I have a realistic chance with?

I've been dumped by single mothers, I've been dumped by childless women.. I mean. What is realistic for me?

dude - work on your self confidence, sometimes good looking women like going out with less attractive men because they'll pamper them and be less likely to stray.

[betamanlet]

Originally Posted by MontanaGuy

One of the reasons that people are unhappy in relationships or can't even get into one is the fact that they are seeking out someone who isn't going to have the slightest interest in them. I've known quite a few guys who were just average looking at best who were only interested in women who looked like models. The result is that they're constantly being rejected. I also notice on profiles on singles sites that the descriptions that women use to describe the kind of man they're looking for are so similar it almost sounds like they're all looking for the same guy. They're also trying to fine someone who's in a league that may be higher than their own and will probably remain single because they're not being realistic about who would be attracted to them.

I've dated what others would consider "Average" women, though to me they were incredibly pretty, and the results were always the same. they had tons of options, and I get dumped.

[ulnevrwalkalone]

There's no such thing as leagues. Its just something people made up to give them an excuse not to try and ask someone out, as in "I can't go talk to her, shes way out of my league."

[betamanlet]

Originally Posted by genx

dude - work on your self confidence, sometimes good looking women like going out with less attractive men because they'll pamper them and be less likely to stray.

Any suggestions on how I work on it? People say this all the time, but I don't know how you actually work on it.

[FrmlyBklyn]

Originally Posted by betamanlet

I'm a lawyer who makes low six figures and I have been brutally dumped by women who didn't have college degrees, that made a LOT less money than I do.

Not like I care about that money, degrees, status, but if it was that important to them, I still got brutally dumped, and it wasn't like I mistreated them. They just felt with they could do better, or apparently I was horrible or something like that..

Either way, i think women can be pickier about men.

Dude, are you really an attorney? Grow a backbone, already!!!
The world is your oyster. Why don't you go out with women who have a bachelors/associates/grad degree? Look from personal experience, I got set up on a date with a young woman who only had a high school degree, I overlooked that and went anyway. I shouldn't have, because her mentality was that of a 15 year old, while I had higher aspirations for my life. I didn't pursue going out with her, she wanted the musclehead/bad boy. Cut your losses and move on.

[Whyte Byrd]

Originally Posted by betamanlet

Any suggestions on how I work on it? People say this all the time, but I don't know how you actually work on it.

The way I did it was fake it--pretend I felt confident--until it materialized in me. The more I faked it--for myself--the more results I got. The more results I got (in so many areas of my life), the more confidence it gave me. The more confidence it gave me, the less I had to fake it. It starts with something as small as your walk and talk, eye contact, the way you carry yourself, self-talk, etc. Take it from there.

[JBT1980]

Ive always wondered this..People say it as if its so easy and you can just look at someone and say where on the same level...

Besdies just because you and the whole world might think youre in the same league as this person doesnt automatically mean that person by the laws of nature is gonna be automatically attracted to you..

There could be people you think are above your league who may be attracted to you and people you think are on are below you who may think your unattractive..

Ive always said if this league thing is that strict and my league is people im not attracted to id rather be alone rather then be with someone im lukewarm on just because its my "league"

[sophialee]

Originally Posted by genx

dude - work on your self confidence, sometimes good looking women like going out with less attractive men because they'll pamper them and be less likely to stray.

I've seen a picture of him, he's good looking. He just doesn't have a lot of confidence and I believe he's OCD which also contributes to his problems.

[genx]

Originally Posted by betamanlet

Any suggestions on how I work on it? People say this all the time, but I don't know how you actually work on it.

First off, take stock of your good qualities and if you are a truly nice, good, kind, considerate, fabulous guy then you should think to yourself any woman would be happy to be with you because you treat people with respect. You're not self-absorbed or shallow, you've got a good job, you've got a good attitude about life and you're a generally positive and happy person to be around. You can make women laugh and you treat them well.

And if you don't have an attractive face, you can at least work on your body, lift some weights, don't have to be overly muscular just generally fit and toned looks nice.

For me at least, it's all about personality - if a guy is a super nice person then that makes him a 10 in my book regardless of how he looks physically.